Just joined from New Zealand
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Lew iam sorry for your tragic curves of life and love which is heading to.but accept the certainities inlife and give much time to your life partner and keep her occupied as much as you can. take the life as it comes . time will heal all types of wounds . god blees you both
dr mahipal
Lew,
I am so sorry for what you and your wife are going through. Your wife is lucky to have such a devoted husband. I will be praying for both of you.
God Bless,
JamieLew, what was the retreat that you went to? My husband died a few months ago from CC but my sister was diagnosed with 2 types of cancer concurrently 2 weeks before my husband died as we live in Australia I wondered about your retreat Janet
Dear Lew,
Welcome. I am so sorry for what you & your wife are going through fighting this horrid disease. I agree that you are a great support to your wife. I know how hard this is to deal with as my husbands CC came on with a vengence after being very healthy all his life.
I too feel that you need to say what needs to be said & then just be there for her. The most important thing is to be sure she is comfortable & in as little pain as possible.
On this site you have found the most wonderful, supportive group of people you can hope to find. We have all been touched in one way or another by this terrible cancer and are here to help in any way we can. Come back often as we are all here for you. There is always someone here to help, support, comfort or just to listen if you need to vent your feelings.
I will keep you & your family in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
Dear Lew what a distressing time for you.It sounds as if you are a terrific support for your wife and this is important for both of you.I hope you have good support.
All kind of factors can influence the bowel-medication,blockages,inactivity-just being that ill,but they will keep trying to fix it because it will certainly make her feel better and sometimes it takes a few days good luck Janet
addit-the large tummy is probably a combination of tumor and ascites(peritoneal fluid)with a little constipation mixed inLew,
Welcome to the site. You will find us very supportive and helpful. We are a tight knit group but welcome everyone who finds us!The large tummy could be a result of fluid build up. Many people have had the fluid drained which offers relief.
If you search the hospice/pallative care section there is a wealth of information and information on the end stage. I cant offer much insight as I am a patient and I think that will be too much information for me, so I pretty much avoid that section.
About talking about her funeral…I have done the same thing with my husband. My psychologist told me this was very important because it meant that I have said what I needed to say so my energy can be used more productive ways, that I am not stressed or worried about these things.
I am sorry you and your wife are going through this. It is a terrible, unfair disease and it seems to strike the good. Please, if you have any other questions or need support, dont be afraid to ask us.
Kris
Feb 2008 my wife was told she had CC and given 6-12 months, no other advise given except to book into a hospice. We went to a retreat in Australia and learnt about nutrition and meditation as a way to minimize the effects. Feb 2009, no change with the original 3cm tumor. Since the middle of May ’09 it has started off with a vengeance. Radiation was recommended but this just made things worse, she looks about 9 months pregnant and has spent the last 10 days in a hospice. Pain management since middle of May has been with morphine, and a range of other things for all sorts of other problems, the main one being a bowel obstruction.
At 56 years of age, for this to come out of the blue was a big shock as neither of us have ever been ill and we lead a fairly good life, in general, good food and no vices. For the last 10 days my wife has been in great pain either across the back or across the front. Edema has been bad and no bowel motion for the last 5 days, irrespective of how many enemas she has been given. In all the hospital and hospice time I have never missed a doctors rounds and am able to read blood tests along with the best. She talks about her funeral and how she wants to be buried, in some ways has accepted the end better than I have.
For the last few days, she really doesn’t come alive until late in the day, lies with her eyes shut but is listening to the conversations. She comes alive when new visitors arrive and no one would think there is a problem. To still have such an active brain but getting so thin and eating so small is really painful as I realize I have got to the “over protective” stage in looking for all I can do to assist. Five days ago the Dr said she is dying, today, who would guess it, but daily she is getting thinner and weaker. I am told the cancer is the cause of the bowel obstruction and there is nothing they are able to do now. Is this the case with others as I am sure she would love to have a good movement. I am led to believe the large tummy is also mainly tumor, is this correct.
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