Just made the decision to go with hospice
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Lisa,
Read your post yesterday for the first time. I had just gotten home from the hospital and felt sort of down. Reread it again today and I need to tell you how much I admire you. Your statement strikes so close to home for me, “But I know where I am going. I know that my Heavenly Father is looking after me and will continue to look after my family when I am gone. It’s time to give up control and trust completely in God. It’s time to love and enjoy my family with the time I have left. It’s time to live as best as able one day at a time.”
Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us. I don’t actually know you, but I love you.
Kathy
I echo the words of those who have posted above. The cc family is just that a family – and while I can’t say I “know” you, I feel like I do. You were in my thoughts this weekend and your post may answer why. I don’t know about others, but there are just times when a cc family member is very active in my mind and I know they need prayers for strength and healing.
I will add another thought … and that is thank you for being a teacher. The cc experience comes with many ups and downs and though it’s been over 3 years since my dad passed, I still come here (and try) to offer advice when I can, but mostly I feel it is I who benefit. I learn many valuable lessons by the examples demonstrated here and the lessons I have learned from you have been many.
You can count on continued prayers being lifted up in your name!
Bz
Lisa, I am amazed by your courage, conviction, and positive attitude. Yes, you do have so much to live for! Wow, what a summer you are going to have with all the wonderful events that are going to take place with your children. And I also agree Hospice isn’t going to be a big switch but the extended benefits of massage, acupuncture, and better pain management will make a huge difference in your quality of life. You are an inspiration to so many! Enjoy your summer!
Blessings to you Lisa. You have to do what you feel in your heart is best. I am a firm believer in quality of life. After my second round of IV chemo, and not being able to get out of bed for a week – it was too much. And, you are so right, God is in control. I found my greatest peace when I completely surrendered my fears and began trusting Him for every day. None of know when we’re going home. It could be tomorrow, it could be ten years, or Christ could come back before then and bring us all home together!!
Peace and blessings,Dear Lisa,
I agree with everything everyone else has already said. Only you can decide what is best for you. You are an amazing women with a great attitude. That along with your faith, strength and courage will guide you in this new direction on your journey. You have so many special things to look forward to. Live, love & enjoy life as it is. I am hoping for the best for you. Take care Lisa.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaLisa, you are an inspiration to me and probably to many. You have so bravely fought this disease and have done well. I so understand your wanting quality of life; you have a few very exciting milestones coming up!
We too have a wedding coming up in May (our son). We will have to swap stories! I am getting very excited and I am so thankful Doug will be able to attend. Sounds like you have done an incredible job raising your 3 children on your own. You must be very proud. Big hugs to you. NancyDear Lisa…You are so right. The massage treatments, acupuncture, relaxation techniques all, will do wonders for you. I am encouraged by the thoughts of radiation and the possibility for it to shrink some of those annoying lymph nodes. I have to admit to a chuckle when reading of your hair loss complaint as it reminds me of your postings when chemotherapy became a reality and your biggest concern was the loss of your hair. We have been together on this site for many years and all along you have shown courage and determination while making those decisions best in your interest. And, you have succeeded and you continue to do so. Hats off to you, dear Lisa. And big hugs too.
All my best wishes,
MarionMy Dearest Lisa , you know we have been together for 4 years now! I have always thought you were a strong, brave wonderful woman and now I know for sure you are that and more. You have been teaching your children a valuable life lesson and I don’t believe your work is done yet. Teddy is still busy greeting others and I don’t think he is ready to see you yet! Loads of good wishes on your “new life style” you know I wish you the very best. Love you!
Dear Lisa – You are strong and courageous. You have a lot to live for and you are making the choices as you go. Great job managing this illness. I agree with you that God is in control and you have some wonderful time to love and enjoy your family. Attitude is your great friend – continue to hang on to that great attitude, combined with your strength that is provided by your Heavenly Father. We do cheer you on and applaud you making the choices that are best for you. Blessings, Susan
I agree with Nancy. It does take great courage to make that decision and sometimes you may find that just having hospice in takes away some of the stress and you feel that much better just because of them. I have been going to Providence in Everett for the past two weeks and have thought of you when I pass that turnoff and wondered how you were progressing. I was out of touch with this site while I commuted since it took some of my energy to make the drive. God bless you and carry you through this journey.
Lisa – It takes a lot of courage to make these types of decisions, but you know what is best for you and I think you are doing the right thing. You are right, you may be prolonging your life as well. I believe my son’s last chemo treatment actually did him more harm than good (it was a clinical trial so he knew he was taking a chance). May you be pain free and enjoy all these big events coming up. We’re all here….cheering you on. Bless you – Nancy
As many of you know, I have been fighting this disease since August 2007. We came to the end of our toolkit of possible “cures” for cholangiocarcinoma and started on Taxotere last month. Well, for me that was the final straw. My hair fell out, I felt nauseous, and my fingernail beds got sore. But the hair! Not the hair!
At any rate, I have been feeling miserable ever since starting Taxotere and I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I want quality over some possible quantity of life. We know the cancer is spreading but we can’t stop it. So I made the decision to stop curative treatment and begin strictly palliative treatment. This really isn’t a big switch, as I have basically been on palliative treatment for a couple years now.
I talked with a hospice representative and with my family and will start hospice care next week. I feel it will give me more options in comfort care, like acupuncture, massage therapy, and pain management. No more dread of going to get chemo treatments! Who knows, I may even prolong my life more with this sort of treatment. I don’t want to wait until I am miserable every single day. I want to enjoy the time I have left. My beautiful daughter is getting married in June and my son is graduating from college in August. My youngest daughter is finishing up her freshman year in college. So there are events and people to live for.
Next week, as part of the palliative care, I may even begin radiation of the lymph nodes around my stomach to reduce the pressure and pain. That will hopefully help. It’s little things like that which can made a difference in quality of life.
No one says we have an expiration date and I don’t expect to drop dead as soon as I start hospice. But I know where I am going. I know that my Heavenly Father is looking after me and will continue to look after my family when I am gone. It’s time to give up control and trust completely in God. It’s time to love and enjoy my family with the time I have left. It’s time to live as best as able one day at a time.
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