Late 80s with bile duct cancer
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TY all for your words of support. Sadly my dad lost his battle after about 2 months. Everything happened so fast that it seems a real blur.
Spend as much time with your dear ones as possible. He had no chemo or any other treatment as it was too late and eventually did home hospice, but even that was very short time span and took many of us day and night to help out. Good for patient, hard on family.
Best wishes to all your loved ones and your selves. Be strong and be flexible.
Hi all,
My dad is likewise in his upper 80’s. We are still trying to get a confirmation that he has CC since they don’t want to do a biopsy due to his weak heart.
He’s a tough old guy, so I hope he fights and stays with us as long as possible but I also want him to have a good quality of life.This is real tough, we just recently found out so trying to understand all the options for what to do in his case.
God bless
Libeco:
I think that depression just comes along with the territory. My husband Tom has been fighting CC for almost three years now, and has finally gotten onto a anti-depressant medication. (now he is taking it willingly, I no longer have to ‘hide’ it in his Ice Cream Malts.
But, if you look at this cancer from the patients point of view, I think anyone could understand why one gets depressed. Some patients go from being completely well one day and the next day they are told that they have cancer, one of the worst forms of cancer there is (as far as I’m concerned). Suddenly their lives are turned upside down. Now they have what seems like endless doctor visits, chemo, IV’s, inpatient hospital stays, infections, ERCP’s, antibotics, feeling sick most of the time, feeling run down and fatigued, unable to eat many of the foods they used to love, being dependent upon others for the things that they used to do, possibly being told “There is nothing else we can do” and may have been given a ‘check out’ date like 2 – 3 months, or 6 months or 12 months, and heaven forbid if they don’t have a caretaker such as a spouse to help them out. God knows, I’d be depressed if I were in that situation myself!
During my husband’s last ER visit, he finally said “I think I need to start taking the anti-depressant medicine. That is when I ‘confessed’ to sneaking it into his nightly malts and then he realized that it WAS helping him. So now it’s no chore to get him to take the anti-depressant! I am so happy because he no longer does the ‘woe is me’ scenario.
Certainly discuss with your dad, and/or his doctors and ask about an anti-depressant med for your dad. Discuss it openly with your dad so it does not come as a shock! He has to be ‘ready’ to take it and it does take a few weeks until he will benefit from the full effects of the medicine, and even if he doesn’t notice a difference, I’m certain his family will!
Go with God and KEEP KICKIN’ THAT cancer.
Margaret
Libeco,
My father also went through that same depressive behavior and sleepless nights. In his case, he was prescribed a sleeping medication and used it for about 2-3 weeks and now is sleeping well without it. Hi mood is fairly stable but he has good and bad days. On the days he feels better his mood is just fine. On the not so good days, he is more depressed. We have talked to him about letting us know if he feels he needs support, medically or talk therapy, to deal with this terrible cancer. I bring this up to him every couple of days, and he promised to let me know when this is needed. Right now, I agree that he is doing ok and seems as time goes on, and he gets more time to process, the better he is coping. I hope this will be the same for your dad.
LynnLibeco….Many of our members have been prescribed antidepressants (this includes patients and caregivers.) You might want to run this thought past the physician and see whether it is appropriate for your Dad also.
Best wishes,
MarionEveryone, I am so sorry to read everyone’s situation and sadden to read the ages of some of CCs victims. However, I am glad to have found this site. This site and posts give me a good heads up on how to help my mom and dad through this. Perhaps someday they can find some help with it too.
I started posting questions in the discussion section as I had just visited – I live a distance away sadly.
He is somewhat depressed – guess it take some time to get a grip, never rests through the night, barely stays a wake for any length of time; has abdominal pain on and off; uses an external bile bag; fairly weak; unresuctable tumor in liver which started in bile duct; set to see oncologist in 3 weeks who wants to start low dose chemotherapy; not much appetite. Month ago he was slowing down, but still very young for 88.
Libeco: Welcome to the site that no one, including me, really wants to join! Feel freel to post your thoughts, concerns, issues, etc. as you will get lots of feedback.
As my husbands caretaker, this site has given me a lot of insight, and compassion when I feel the need to rant or rave about the care or issues that my husband is undergoing.
At your fathers age, I would agree with just doing pallative care. My husband Tom has been fighting this cancer for almost three years, but I feel that he is getting close to the point where he’s going to say “enough is enough”, but that is OK. Not that I want to be a widow anytime soon, but I see firsthand what this cancer is doing to his body, and I do not want him to suffer. I’ve given him my endorsement and anytime that he feels the need to quit, I’m OK with his decision. Only he knows how his body is feeling.
And remember, no one has an expiration date stamped on their butt. Tom was given 6 months to live…..12 1/2 months ago! Tom was diagnosed at age 61, he is now 63. We are hoping to make it to our 10th wedding anniversary in Feb. 2011. Otherwise I have a bottle of wine that I’ve been saving for almost 10 years that I’ll have to drink all by myself! If he makes it to our anniversary, he’ll only be having a sip or two though.
Enjoy whatever time your dad has left here on earth. When he is having a good day, do something special with him. When he is having a bad day, just let him know that you love him. Watch TV or sit by his side and hold his hand. Get some pictures or videos of him. Build those memories!
Go with God and KEEP KICKIN’ THAT cancer!
Margaret
Yes, lmcnish our experiences may be similar in many respects. Mine is 88 and a young one at that too. Will stay in touch after my visit this week as I may know more after this week. Best wishes to everyone this week.
TY for words of welcome. Yes, he has a stent and external drain to bile bag. That alleviates the blockage and jaundice. He is home and tired, some days more than others.
Just read someone else’s post of the speed with which this cancer moves and I concur that our family’s experience is same. He went in healthy except for severe pain at times in abdomen and soon went jaundice, fluid in lungs, swollen joints. The x-rays of joints showed nothing and fluid result not back yet. Hoping that it has not spread yet.
I am heading home this week so will learn more. Agree with others out there that Internet allows for education.
I am thankful to have found you guys, but sorry that it is under these shared experiences. I will pray for devoncat and others too.
My situation sounds very similiar to your situation. My father will be 90 this month. He was diagnosed with CC on October 2, 2010. He was told he had 2-3 months to live. We went for a second opinion at Mayo Clinci in Rochester. His cancer is also inoperable and he has chosen to just do palliative care. Right now he has his second stent in and blood work is coming back normal. Normal billirubin counts. He is weaker than usual and dizzy. Other than that he is surprising the doctors with his continued stable health. We are not even scheduled to go back to Rochester for stent replacemnt until late January. Everyday that he is feeling OK is a blessing and right now we are not doing any type of chemo, etc. I hope that this will help as sometimes maybe a very viable option for now is to do nothing since our father’s quality of life is good. Best wishes for you and your father.
Welcome to the site.We are a close group and do our best to offer support and information. This disease does not follow one path and until we know which path it wants to take, it is difficult to answer questions. Generally, you will notice your dad getting more and more tired.
He is going to need help as this progresses. What kind of help is hard to say. Are they going to try to do an external drain instead of a stent?
Let us know what is happening and we will do our best to advice and support.
kris
Welcome to our site. We will be here for you to bounce ideas off of, to vent, to ask questions. It is a roller coaster ride with many ups and downs. We pray that your journey will be as uneventful as possible and that you dad will not suffer pain and discomfort. There are many similarities in patient conditions and yet so many variances as well. Some people have back pain, some don’t. Some need stents, some don’t. Some turn yellow, others don’t. Just know that we will be here for you whatever CC brings you. Blessings, Susan
My dad was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma. We are very fortunate that he has been with us so long, however, concerned with what the two of them will face. Due to his advanced age, though youthful, it seems that they are not considering surgery, transplant, or chemo/radio treatments as tumor is large and in advanced stage. He has a stent as bypass was not successful. Trying to gain info as to what is down the road for my parents. Kids are spread across US and working with families and all willing to help. Interested if there are others in similar position. So glad to have found this site.
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