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Ashley, I can completely understand your concern. Looking back at some mild symptoms, we believe my dad had cc up to two years before it was discovered. After a consult, my dad went for surgery. The cancer had spread from his gallbladder to pancreas and into bile ducts. The surgeon aborted the procedure. It took my dad about six weeks to gain some strengthen back. Hard to say if putting his body through the assault gave him less time. Surgery was hard on him, but he knew if it was successful it would have bought him years. That’s what your mom is thinking. It’s hard on you because you do not want to see her suffer. Like everyone has said, she will have to build her strength before she can
have surgery, so it will give everyone time think about this decision. You are in my thoughts and prayers in the months to come. Try to rest and take care of yourself when you can. You are a wonderful daughter.Dear Ashley – As you spend time together and your mom gets over this latest condition and builds her strength, as a family, you will be able to support her in whatever decision she makes. I wanted you to know that my husband did not have a terrible passing either. He was not in pain, he went to sleep, went into a coma, held on for our son to get here and passed peacefully into the arms of Jesus. He did have pain meds and was in the coma for 23 hours. It was all peaceful. My heart is with you as you hold on to one another. Blessings, Susan
Hi Ashley, Wow what a turnaround. I can understand you being taken aback! Like others have said I agree to go with mom’s decision. I know it is tough wondering if it is the best thing and you want to protect your mom from any more pain but sounds like you were able to have her understand what she was up against, and she has made a sound decision. I pray for strength for all of you to get through this. Your mom has a second chance!
Hugs to all of you. NancyDear Ashley, I am so very sorry for all that your family is going through. I also agree with letting her get some nourishment and healing the Pneumonia and see where that takes you. One step at a time, and it will be a little easier on all of you. It is natural for your emothions to be running at 100 miles per hour. Don’t ever apologize for that and we are here to lend an ear. We all care. Until such time as you feel totally comfortable about a treatment plan you don’t have to do anything you are not sure about. Best wishes.
Ashley….I agree with Andie and Nancy in that it is a big decision to make. However, either way your Mom is not able to undergo surgery at present. Therefore I would consider her wishes and let her be fed intravenously and allow for her respiratory condition to improve. It is one of those wait and see situations and hopefully the answer will come about real soon.
My heart is with you.
All my best wishes,
MarionAshley – Just like Andie, I did not experience the “horror” of CC death. The evening my son passed, he had asked to get out of bed. He wanted to sit on a chaise that was in his room and then he hugged my daughter, my husband, my sister and me. He smiled like he never smiled before. He continued to sit up for a while and then said he wanted to brush his teeth! He got back into bed and went to sleep, quietly and peacefully. Over an hour later, his heart stopped. There was no trauma, no difficulty in breathing, just sleep. It was peaceful and calm. The final decision is your Mom’s to make and if she feels well enough to keep fighting, she should have that option. Your job is to be near her as much as possible and to let her know how much you love her, no matter what. The rest is up to someone bigger than all of us. You have our support here whenever you need to rant – Peace – Nancy
Dear AshleyC,
My heart goes out to you and your family. This is such a hard decision to make and it’s one that only your Mom can make. She has decided on surgery and I pray that it is succesful. But I would just like to add my Dads cc was inoperable and he had high bilirubin throughout his cc journey, he did get to say his goodbyes and he passed away peacefully and pain free. He took to his bed on the Wednesday but could still talk and tell us how much he loved us, even on Friday morning (he passed 2.45am Saturday)he was talking to us, yes at times he was in and out of sleep but it was not awful, in our experience it was peaceful. That is just our experience though as I know cc treats everyone differently. This is why I don’t think Doctors should say how it will be as no one knows.
Sending love and prayers
Since my last post ranting about moms trip to San Antonio, she has been admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. Her O2 was down to 65. This was on Thursday night. Her oncologist came up to the ER aroung 930 pm. He was unaware that the people in SA were going to go radiation. He told us that she would not survive that and that we shouldn’t go back. Her side effects from the chemoembolization treamtent in January really took a toll on her body. The doctor called dad and I out into the hallway to talk. He said that moms billirubin level was 27 and that she was going into liver failure. That we should go home, call hospice and spend out last moments with her because he thought she would only survive a couple of weeks. He told us how awful it is dying of liver failure and that she would get to a point of no talking, looking around much like a coma. She would not be able to say any goodbyes. Later that evening, they admit her and treat her for pneumonia. She is still there. Her oncologist wanted to look at her scans from SA one more time to see why they were going to do radiation. At the same time, he decided to have another surgeon here look at them to get a second opinion. With shocking news, the surgeon who originally looked at her scans last August and couldn’t do surgery now says that he can do surgery. Only on the condition that her respiratory gets better(she has been a smoker for the past 30 years) and that she get a feeding tube put in to get some nutrition and strength built back up. He would remove 70% of her liver and bile ducts reconnecting everything to her small intestine. This is her option or to go home with hospice. She has been so in and out of it with all the pain meds (at least we hope thats whats causing the hallucinating) and we had to explain the sugery 5 times. It was awful to watch when she finally comprehended that she had to chose the risky surgery when there is a possibility that she may never survive the surgery or to go home and die. She decided on the surgery. I pray that the good Lord will help to get her strong and a little healthier so that she will survive the sugery and recover well. She knows that at any point she can go home. I wish there was a way to help not make her so scared. I almost hate for her to do the surgery because she is so weak and so tired. She has been fighting hard for the past 8 months. What would you do, suggest the surgery or the other alternative. I just want to make sure that she does this for her and what she wants. Not what we want. She said, “yall are my family, you are all I’ve got and I have lived my life for yall.” So hard to watch her go through this. I feel selfish for crying and being upset, I can’t imagine how she feels.
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