March 3, 2011 at 8:15 pm #48291codergirlParticipant
That is so beautiful Andrea I so needed that today. Having a very hard time getting through the day. Prayers and hugs to you and yours.February 24, 2011 at 11:54 am #48290prayingformomflMember
Great Posts thanks for sharing them. I am too having a hard time remembering Mom before all of this. But then I started to look at all of the pictures for her memorial. At first it was so painful because she didn’t look like that at the end. All I could remember was the horrible confusion, and drawn face. But it has become easier these past few days. The woman in those pictures is truly who my mother was. Smiling, cooking, loving her family, now it is easier for me to envision that person. I still have the memories of those horrible last few days burned into my brain, but it’s easier to move past them now. Much love, and many prayers to you and your mom.
EricaFebruary 23, 2011 at 10:33 am #48289micsylParticipant
A very moving post for me. I remember the feeling of walking into the room and my dad not being there. At the moment you are on auto-pilot – the grief really hit the moment i went on school holidays, the sadness is indescribable, it does not get easier but as the days move to weeks and months you learn to feel the pain differently and you also remember your dad as his was before he became ill, and not as he was when he passed. You will have flashbacks – and they are hard for me.
Andie – I am thinking of you and your mom, with lots of love and strength to you.
I will light a candle at Mass for your dad on Sunday.
MichelleFebruary 23, 2011 at 7:05 am #48288slittle1127Member
Dear Andie – I understand the numb feeling, but for me it did give way to more sadness. I also think of my husband and his illness and how he was not really himself, but what I really miss is the man I have loved for all those years. Some days are easier than others and some are harder than I can imagine, but all in all, I am so thankful to have had his love for most of my life. So, amidst the sadness and the missing him, there is joy and appreciation for all we had. I am sure you will go through so many feelings, especially when things slow down a little. Everyone is different, so be easy and kind to yourself through whatever feelings you have. Thinking of you, SusanFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:36 pm #48287andieParticipant
Thank you all.
It has been a busy day today, we have a date for the funeral Tuesday 1st March. Mom and I have spent the day organising this.
Another poem we are having is called Next to You.
You cannot see or touch me
but I’m standing next to you
your tears can only hurt me
your sadness makes me blue
be brave and show a smiling face
let not your grief show through
I love you from a different place
yet I’m standing next to you.
Love to all xFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:20 pm #48286lalupesParticipant
Andrea, this is a gorgeous poem!! I’ve never heard of it before but it struck such chords.
Thank you for posting it.
Thinking of you xxFebruary 22, 2011 at 4:50 pm #48285jennifersMember
Beautiful poem Andrea. I don’t yet understand what you are feeling or going through, but want you to know that I am thinking of you, and hope the days (and nights) get easier for you. I’m sure you will soon start having visions and dreams of your Dad in healthier times, and hope these memories will help you through…
Thinking of you.
JenFebruary 22, 2011 at 1:34 pm #48284lainyParticipant
I love this poem, one of my favorites. Kim is right. Numb takes over until you are ready to give your “new Normal” a try. Things do get better honestly, its only been 2 months for me but I can feel a little difference already. I tell people I am not lonely, I really am not but boy, do I MISS Teddy. I mean I really MISS him but it does not consume me anymore. I keep telling myself he would not want that so I push myself for him.February 22, 2011 at 1:05 pm #48283gracefulmeadow86Member
This is beautiful, Andrea.
I feel the same way about my dad and its been just a week. The numb and the sad moments will start to meld and become sort of “normal life”. I also hope that soon I will be able to think of the happy healthy dad days before the last few impossibly painful ones.
KimFebruary 22, 2011 at 9:11 am #4814andieParticipant
Letter from Heaven
To my dearest family some things I’d like to say
But first of all to let you know that I arrived today,
I’m writing this from Heaven. Here I shall dwell with God above
Here, there’s no more tears of sadness. Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I’m out of sight
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me and He said “I welcome you,
It’s good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone,
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on.
I need you here badly, you are part of my plan
There’s so much that we have to do to help our mortal man.”
God gave me a fist of things that he wished for me to do
And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you
And when you lie in bed at night, the days chores put to flight
God and I are closest to you . . in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears
But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
1 wish that I could tell you all that God has planned
If I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand
But one thing is for certain though my life on earth is o’er
I’m closer to you now than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
When you’re walking down the street and you’ve got me on your mind
I’m walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind
And when it’s time for you to go . . from that body to be free
Remember you’re not going . . you’re just coming here to me.
I just thought I would post this beautiful poem. My Uncle is going to read it for us at my Dads funeral.
We have decided also to have the song “smile” played as one of the last things my Dad said to Mom and I was “keep on smiling”.
I feel so numb at the moment, almost robotic. I don’t know how I was expecting to feel really, I am managing to take care of all the organising without crying, which has suprised me. It is last thing at night though and also going to my Moms and not seeing my Dad there that I am finding hard at the moment. The tears flow alot at night and at the moment I am seeing my Dad in his last few days keep flashing back, I so long to have the vision of my healthy Dad in my mind. My friend said it is because it is so raw and soon those visions will appear, I do hope so.
Love to all
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.