Missing her
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Dear sister of Willie,
I somehow missed this when you orginally posted, but just want you to know that I too truely understand what you are going through. I hope that the counseling and group therapy are helpful to you. My heart still aches too, for me, you and everyone else that has lost a loved one to this disease and also those that are dealing with it now or have been touched by CC in one way or another.
Take care of yourself now and try to take comfort in knowing that Willie is no longer in pain or suffering and that she will always be with you in your heart and memories.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaThank you all for your support.
I made it thru the holidays and started one on one counseling with hospice. I just started group therapy and it made me realize we are truly not alone. Sadly, too many of us are suffering thru the loss of a loved one.
My heart still aches for me and for everyone reaching out on these discussion boards.
I am so sorry to hear about your sister. Sisters have a special bond that cannot be replicated or replaced. My sister also has stage IV CC. She is not expected to live through the holidays, though she is sure she will. She turns 35 in a few weeks. I try and cherish every moment I have with her. She is my only sibling and we, too, are very close. I dread the day I have to say goodbye to her. I understand when you say you feel part of you has been ripped away. It’s because part of you has. Rely on your friends and family to help your heart heal. I have found much comfort on this discussion board. It helps to have people there for you who TRULY know your pain. From one sister to another, my prayers and my heart go out to you.
Sincerely,
VanessaHi there,
I am so sorry to read your post about your sister Willie. I can relate to some of what you are feeling, last June 2009 my Dad of 72 died within 7 weeks of diagnosis for cc…..
I think what we know about cc is that we DONT know how this terrible disease is going to progress within each and every person who has the diagnosis. The disease is insidious and as we have seen before can take hold so quickly.
I will be thinking of you and your family over the Christmas period. What we did last Christmas for my Dad was to light a candle at the dinner table with his picture at the side of it so that we all felt he was with us…. My young niece even put a hat out of a christmas cracker on Dad’s photo frame.
Katie
Hi,
Last Dec I lost my soulmate of 33 years.
Infact today we are having dinner with friends in his rememberance.
please take care.
nkI’m glad you have your voice back. Your story really touched me. I’m saddened you lost your strong and beautiful sister, but I’m so heart-glad for you that the two of you had such a bonded loving relationship. I’m sorry that it brings pain now and I hope in time the joy you had together can rise above the pain and loss the void of her leaving brings.
I lost my dad to an 7 year battle of Congestive heart failure and I thought we (brother and sisters) were prepared by then…. yet it surprized us how hard it hit and how badly we struggled through even though we prepared (we thought). But at least we had the time we expected to have and more.
Sometimes I just go out in the breeze and have to celebrate life even with the ache the celebration brings… just to know those lost in my life are still within me alive. I hope the therapy helps you and maybe in time you will be able to celebrate the life of your sister within you. (((hugs)))
Hi, I can so relate to what you are going through. I too lost my sister to this terrible disease. I don’t post on here very often, but read the posts almost every day. My sister was so young and had four small children at home. She passed away six months after diagnoses. We would talk on the phone every day before she got sick. It has been almost four years now, and even though I didn’t believe it or want to hear it when people would tell me it gets better in time, it truly does. I can now talk about her and the memories we have without turning into a sobbing mess. My thoughts are with you during this very difficult time. Hugs!
Karen B
My sister Willie and I did everything together. Although we are 6 years apart (and a few kids in between) we were like twins. As a matter of fact, people asked us all the time if we were twins. We worked together, lived together, you name it.
We both were laid off from work the first week of June. Willie was diagnosed on June 8th. We tried to look at this positively that I could be home to take care of her. She started chemotherapy on July 9th and starting feeling the terrible effects on her immediately. She wouldn’t give up though. Once at IV therapy a woman asked her if she ever thought ‘Why me?’ She said no and was stunned that it had never occurred to her to think that. She always said she would beat it. She would not allow the oncologist to tell her what stage she was in so she could just fight it. We live in Florida and our family (including her 2 daughters) live up north. They would visit whenever they could.
On the Wednesday before the Labor Day weekend her doctor told her she could not have any more chemotherapy since she was not tolerating it well. Her kidneys had been compromised. They talked about admitting her to see if they could control her symptoms but decided it would probably be better to release her to hospice. She finally asked him how much longer he thought she had. He didn’t want to guess but after prompting thought she had at least a couple months. Her daughters arrived the next evening and we planned to tell them the heartbreaking news in person. That evening we were unable to control her pain and had to call a hospice nurse in. The following day she could not move her right leg. Being a holiday we were unable to get equipment from hospice and had no wheel chair. The three of us would roll her around in an office chair on wheels. Every day she failed more. On Monday her kidneys started to shut down.
Willie left us on Wednesday, just a week after we had been told she had at least a couple months. I do not blame her oncologist. He truly cared about her and made her feel cherished. I don’t think anybody thought it would happen that quickly, least of all us. I am grateful her daughters were there. I don’t think they would have beleived how quickly she went downhill and may have thought I was holding back.
We held some beautiful memorials for her and when I returned home, I was lucky to have the support of family and friends. I don’t know how I would have made it thru without them.
I lost my voice a week after she passed and was having trouble breathing which I could not get cleared up. Finally, my doctor sent me to an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor and we found I had a very large polyp on my voicebox which was obstructing my breathing. While having my preop testing, I had an abnormal EKG and was told it showed I had a previous heart attack. I was sent to a cardiologist and had extensive testing. He finally cleared me for surgery and said the EKG was wrong and my heart is fine. I think they didn’t realize it was just broken. I had my surgery and now have my voice back.
I am trying to remain positive and look at the blessings in my life. I know I was lucky to have such a wonderful sister in my life for her 61 years. However, I feel as if a piece of me has been ripped away. I recently starting counseling and hope in time it will help.
I am not looking forward to the holidays without her.
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