October 20, 2009 at 11:10 pm #31204
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I don’t really think these feelings ever really will go away. I think in time we just learn to live with them and try to go on. You are so right. If I had time to think about all this, the thought of never being together again would have been unthinkable and unbearable, but now I am faced with just that and we do survive, some days I am not sure how or why, but we do. Having this site and all the wonderful people here sure does help.
I sometimes have a hard time reading and replying as there are so many sad stories. I often wonder why it goes so swiftly for some and others are treated successfully. It does make me feel good to hear about the ones like your Tom who are fighting and winning. It lets others know that there is hope. Hopefully the more that is learned about this cancer, the more successfully people will be treated. We can only hope.
So keep fighting and I hope we can continue to hear good reports from you about Tom’s progress. Take care.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaOctober 20, 2009 at 9:58 pm #31203marylloydParticipant
I’m also very sorry for your loss and always hope to hear that time heals a broken heart. So when I read that it just seems to get harder it makes me sad for all of you that have already lost your loved one and worry for those of us who dread that day. My husband looked at me today and said,”You know it really would be lonely if one of us lost the other- we spend ALL of our time together!” And it really would be!! I know you and your husband worked together and were together for so many years that it is hard to imagine not seeing him every single day. I just hope it does get easier in time and I’m glad you’re able to share here with people that truly understand. Take care and thank-you for coming on and continuing to offer kind support to those still fighting the battle. MaryOctober 20, 2009 at 11:25 am #31202
Thanks so much for sharing your feelings with me. Everything that you said is what I also am experiencing and feeling. I talk to Jim everyday too. I know we were lucky to have what we had, but I too feel cheated. I wanted more. Everyone thinks I am so strong & dealing with things so well, but that is just on the surface. Inside it still hurts so much and no matter where we go or what we do, we still come home alone. It is all so hard & so sad. Although I would not wish for anyone to have to go through what we are going through, as you said, it does help to know there are others out there who know & understand as no one else can. Take care Marilyn.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaOctober 20, 2009 at 2:44 am #31201kristinkennedyParticipant
Darla–I understand how you feel. Everyone says that time helps, but so far it just gets harder all the time. I miss my routines, I don’t like going to bed alone or sleeping alone. When special times come up, like being with the grandchildren, I miss Tom being with us. Friends ask me to join them, and occasionally I do , but I feel like a 5th wheel. I do talk to Tom everyday–he helps me through some difficult times. So many people say”you were so lucky to have 39 yrs. of such a good marriage”–but all of our friends still have each other and I feel cheated. I want back what we had–Tom was too young to die at age 58. It helps to vent-especially with those who understand. (I am registered under my daughter’s name-I had trouble logging on) Love to all, MarilynSeptember 7, 2009 at 10:40 am #31200magicParticipant
You know Darla,I am not sure about these same moons and stars,I think they might be different-I know we have the southern cross at night.What is really amazing is that even if we dont have the same stars and are on other sides of the world we are probably the same sort of women and we share similar cultures(some differences ,yes,but not that big really)
love from JanetSeptember 6, 2009 at 9:43 pm #31199
Dear Janet & Joyce,
I know that you two are here for me as I am for both of you. The one good thing that has come out of all of this is that I found this site and all of you. I noticed that beautiful moon last night too Joyce. It is comforting to think that we are all seeing the same moon, sun and stars. (some at different times than others) It makes for even more of a connection and what a lovely thought, Joyce, that our loved ones are looking down & watching over us.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaSeptember 6, 2009 at 2:04 am #31198jcleggMember
Words fail me, but know that we are all thinking of you, and wish you peace. I looked out my window tonight and saw the big, beautiful full moon and, as always, it makes me think of our loved ones, looking down on us and watching over us.
Love – JoyceSeptember 5, 2009 at 11:37 am #31197magicParticipant
You know I am thinking of you,we have been there for each other and will continue to do so love from JanetSeptember 5, 2009 at 11:04 am #31196
What a lovely poem. I too have my moments. Some things just bring tears to my eyes, but now and again I still have a good cry. I am wishing for strength, comfort & peace for all of us here. I know we can all get through this together.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaSeptember 5, 2009 at 4:19 am #31195luluuParticipant
Sending a hug and a little poem!
“Every morning I would wake up and see, the most amazing man laying next to me. He’s the one I cherished and loved, a blessing sent from above. I loved him as a faithful wife should, and did everything for him I could. I would let him know everyday, that I loved him more than words can say”
Just over 8months for me….and i still cry everyday!
LuluSeptember 4, 2009 at 10:45 am #31194
Thank you Joyce and Lainy. I appreciate your kind words and loving thoughts. It is you and all the others here that have have kept me strong through the past year. Passing that along through helping and encouraging others who come here feeling lost and alone makes me feel as if there is still some meaning to my life. I am always thinking of you too along with everyone else here.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaSeptember 4, 2009 at 3:19 am #31193lainyParticipant
Hello dear Darla. You are a very strong woman, stronger than you think and what kind of love would it have been if you didn’t feel the loss as you do. Jim knows, I am so sure of that and he was probably right beside you last night smiling at the toasts and what everyone had to say. Always thinking of you.September 4, 2009 at 3:17 am #31192jmoneypennyMember
I’ve read your wonderful, compassionate posts over the past year or so, and have been so impressed with your caring spirit and great attitude. I grieve with you for the loss of your soulmate and I just wanted to say that I think you’re an amazing human being to give so much comfort to others when you’re hurting so much yourself. I hope things get a little bit better over time – you always have friends here. And through us, Jim’s memory stays alive also.
Joyce MSeptember 4, 2009 at 1:49 am #31191
Thanks so much. I spent most of the day with family & friends. Went out for breakfast and also for dinner. Made a toast to Jim and talked about him and the past etc. So I did have a nice day & kept busy, but the hard part is that you always have to come home alone to any empty house at the end of the day.
I hope you are doing OK Jolene and peace to you also.
DarlaSeptember 4, 2009 at 1:28 am #31190
Actually I did start to write in a journal about 2 months after Jim passed and you are so right, it does help to get all of those thoughts & feelings out. I am trying to stay strong and believe me, these boards & all of the wonderful, loving, caring people on them has really helped to get me through all of this. Only those of us who have been affected by this devastating disease can truely know & understand how it affects & changes your life forever.
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