Missing my Husband
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- This topic has 18 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 15 years, 7 months ago by cyndi.
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April 27, 2009 at 1:18 am #28407tessMember
Dear Cyndi, I can feel your heart breaking, right through your message. One cannot read your words with a dry eye, as your loss is so intense. I can imagine that ‘lost and heartbroken’ is the only place you could be, after losing your soul mate of 30 years. I came to this site in Nov. of 08, when my Dad was diagnosed with CC, but we lost him on March 10th. My folks were married 40 yrs. and I see my Mom’s pain is simular to yours. Dad’s diagnosis came on the day before his retirement & Mom is very lost and heartbroken… her name is Cindy also.
You’ll be in our thoughts, come back and visit here, there are many people that will cry with you and send hugs across the miles… just as I’m doing tonight.
Tess
April 26, 2009 at 11:48 pm #28406darlaSpectatorDear Cyndi,
Please know that you are not alone in your grief. I too know that nothing anyone can say right now is going to make it any easier. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband, your soul mate. I can totally relate as I lost my husband & partner of over 45 years (married almost 42) almost 8 months ago under very similar circumstances. He was in what we thought was very good health at the age of 62 and only sick for 7 weeks. Diagnoised with CC 1 week before he passed on. He also had blood clots that the blood thinners could not prevent. He was first given 6 months then 1 month & he passed on 1 week later. So much of your story is so similar to ours that I find tears in my eyes and my heart aches for you. This is such a hard way to lose a loved one. We too were on the verge of retirement and hoped for many happy years together, but that was not to be. Try to hold on to the knowledge that at least he is no longer suffering or in pain & is in a better place. It is us who are faced with life alone without them who must learn how to deal with the pain & loneliness & try to go on. Remember that he is still here in your heart & memories. That is not much consulation right now, but it does help. I have a copy of the poem that Patsy posted above & read it every morning. I found this site shortly after my husband passed on & am so grateful for all the wonderful people here. They are always here for you and I have gotten much comfort & support here. You have found a safe place to come where everyone understands what you are feeling & going through. Please come here whenever you need to even when you just need to vent all the feelings you have inside. We are all here for you. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers. Please keep in touch & let us know how you are doing.
With Love & Hugs,
DarlaApril 26, 2009 at 10:27 pm #28405brookerpSpectatorCyndi – My heart breaks for you – I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words I can say that seem adequate. I lost my daddy in January to this horrible disease, but to lose your soulmate of 30 years. Hold tight all the special memories, big and small. I want to share a poem that has helped me so much since I lost my Daddy – I hope it brings some comfort to you. Hugs and prayer for peace. Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.
He is Gone
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want:
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.April 26, 2009 at 10:02 pm #2255cyndiSpectatorI lost my husband to Cholangiocarcinoma 2 weeks ago.
I am so heartbroken & lost.The cancer took him just 3 weeks after his diagnosis from doctors
that it was in his case incurable.
He’d expected to live up to another year with chemo but kept forming
blood clots despite the blood thinners he was being given.
After a pulmonary embolism he was released from the hospital only
to suffer a massive stroke 1 week later.
Doctors did everything they could to clear the clot in his brain but it was
too late. His entire right hemisphere was damaged & he never regained
conscienceness. After several days he was removed from life support.I miss my husband so much. He was my life. We had been together nearly 30 yrs.
We were about to retire together & buy our dream home.
These were to be the happiest years of our life together.Where have you gone my sweet, loving soul-mate?
I want to be with you. Please don’t leave me here alone.
Take me with as you’ve always done.
There’s no other place for me than by your side.
You always said that if I wasn’t here you’d have to come & find me.
I’m coming to find you. I’ll find a way to you somehow.. -
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