March 6, 2009 at 11:37 am #26651
Morning JeffG, thanks for your kind words. When I finally, gradually made the switch in my mind from “lets cure this cancer” to ” lets stabilize the cancer so dad can live a while with it” to “lets just keep him comfortable and out of pain”, it was a bittersweet relief. Calling hospice and letting them help us with his pain as he enters the journey to the otherside, and accepting that is what the situation truly means, is the most difficult part. Jeff, I think about you and Valerie often, and I have so much gratatude and respect for you for all you have done to help others in your situation. You defied the odds with this brutal cancer and continue to do so, Just keep taking it to the limit. You have a great day as well.
Peace and Prayer
BarbaraMarch 6, 2009 at 11:05 am #26650jeffgMember
Goog Morning Barbara…. Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you. It was one of those nights where I just had to think and pray for all and their hardships and tough love situations. God knows we all are having our share of the tough choices but certainaly ones that have to be made. You have the best day possible, under the circumstances.
Jefff G.March 5, 2009 at 2:57 am #26649
Thank you for your beautiful moving words. It does mean a lot to me to have this group of people on this site that understand. The last few days have been particularly difficult with my dad, and your words were very comforting.
Peace and Prayer
BarbaraMarch 3, 2009 at 11:45 pm #26648brookerpMember
Barbara – as I read your post, it is as if you are telling my story. There is a special bond between a father and his daughter. I am not saying that other bonds are less important, please everyone, don’t interpret that way – there is just something special about being a Daddy’s girl. I think that was the hardest for my Daddy. He, like your Dad Barbara, was always a strong man, (at his funeral the preacher said Daddy was his John Wayne) he was always taking care of me – never failing. Then when this horrible disease took that from him and diminished his frame of 230 pounds to 175 pounds and unable to feed himself, it was hard for my Daddy to have his little girl take care of him. He would always tell me he didn’t know what he would do without me – all the while I am thinking, what am I going to do without you! When I called Hospice for Daddy, I felt like I was giving up on him. But the burden had become to much for me to bear alone…..they were such a huge, positive support. I also felt like you Barbara, and didn’t want Daddy to stay medicated so that he could talk to us while at Hospice in those last hours…..but bless his heart, the pain was unbearable, so they kept him medicated until he passed. Daddy passed away peacefully January 14 of this year with my brother, my husband and myself by his side. When Daddy took his last breath, there was a smile on his face and I know at that moment he saw Jesus and his mother, who he had missed so much since she had passed away……that is the comfort I have Barbara, no more pain for Daddy, no more dreaded chemo treatments, no more dreaded news from the oncologist……..just peace.
I hope my words have not made you sadder than you are – I just want you to know I am sending love and peace to you and your family during this precious time and it is so comforting to know that other people have felt the same pain as I have as this horrible cancer took away my one and only Daddy. Like someone said before, it is awful that this cancer brought us together, I wish I never had to post on this site…..but I am so thankful for each of you – your friendship has kept me going these last 6 weeks since losing my Daddy…..every kind word and prayer…..
Smiling through tears,
PatsyMarch 2, 2009 at 8:00 pm #26647lainyMember
Thinking of you daily and when ever you and your mom are ready Phoenix is waiting.March 2, 2009 at 7:38 pm #26646
I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words. I cant tell you how much this site has helped me. I dont post often, but I read all posts, and I feel like I know you all personally. I cry when I read a bad report, I rejoice when I read a good one, sometimes I laugh with the incredible people on this site that in the face of this disease find humor, sometimes I am deeply saddend by what I have read. I wish we all didn’t have to meet this way, but I grateful to have found you all. I have my prayer group tonight and as usual you will all be included.
Peace and Love
Lainy, I am not sure when, but I will find my way to Az eventually, and hopefully I will be bringing my mom.March 1, 2009 at 6:50 pm #26645jeffgMember
Barbara… I can relate so much. The tears of love are unique and one of a kind. Many have flowed in this home as well. I’m sure there will be more as the journey continues. The portrait you have painted of your Dad is so dignified and vivid. It does him great honor. Bless your loving heart!
Jeff G.March 1, 2009 at 12:11 pm #26644devoncatMember
that was one of the most beautiful posts I have read. I am sure your dad knows how much he means to you. You are a blessing in his life.
KrisFebruary 28, 2009 at 8:09 am #26643magicMember
Barbara I know that feeling in the doctors office.It is like the original bad news magnified and makes you feel very sick
kind regards JanetFebruary 28, 2009 at 6:07 am #26642tiapattyMember
I am so sorry to hear this news. I watched my mom weaken by the day and felt so helpless. Nothing can prepare you for the road ahead, it is the most difficult thing you will ever do. I will pray for your strength.
PattyFebruary 27, 2009 at 1:30 am #26641jcleggMember
Barbara and Pam,
I am so sorry that you both have to be in this place you are in right now – I know the sadness is almost unbearable at times. I know in my husband’s case, he wanted to stay at home, and not go back to the hospital, so I had the satisfaction, at least, of knowing I was following his wishes. It is very difficult as they slip more and more into the next world, but, we do have the comfort of knowing they aren’t in any more pain. Thoughts and prayers for both of you.
Joyce C.February 26, 2009 at 11:45 pm #26640gavinModerator
I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. I know you love your Dad so much and this must be so hard for you and your family right now. I wish there was something that I could do or say that would take away the pain right now.
If you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to yell at then you know that I am here for you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Massive hugs for you B.
GavinFebruary 26, 2009 at 7:09 pm #26639marionsModerator
Barbara….Love is coming your away.
Hugs and more hugs,
MarionFebruary 26, 2009 at 3:17 pm #26638lainyMember
Hi Kid, I already emailed you this morning…you know how I feel and down the road when you need to get away you come see me and Robin! Love you!February 26, 2009 at 2:47 pm #26637darlaParticipant
It sounds like you too are in a very tough place right now. Hang in there. I will be thinking of you and will keep you & your family in my thoughts & prayers too.
Love & Hugs,
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