Multiple Tumors returned – Not what I expected to hear

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  • #30460
    marions
    Moderator

    Suzanne….thumbs up (right now) for raised platelets and a successful surgery for your Mom followed by positive news from the scan, shunt study, and liver arteriogram.
    And tons of hugs,
    Marion

    #30459
    suzannegm
    Member

    Thanks Jolene, Tess, Marion, Jamie, Lainy, and Kris! I don’t know what I would do without you all. This is such an unreal situation. But all of your words give me so much comfort. I’m not as hysterical today as I was earlier in the week. There’s a plan in place and hopefully it will make a difference.

    I’m scheduled for radioembolization on Aug 26. Between now and then my platelets need to come up as they’re in the toilet, I hope to get a new PET scan, and also will have the Shunt study and liver arteriogram. Plus my Mom is having surgery next week so I’ll be helping her out. Trying to stay busy even though I don’t really want to get out of bed most days. I’m trying to be strong for my husband, so he won’t have to bear even more of an emotional burden.

    Thanks again for you AMAZING support.

    #30453
    daddysgirl-2
    Member

    Suzanne, such disappointing news. I am so sorry. Sending you hugs and prayers for your strength.

    Kris, I’m always uplifted when I read your posts.

    You are amazing, courageous women-Suzanne, Kris, Jamie, Lisa, Louise. And all persons afflicted with CC. Thank you for sharing your joys and sorrows as you battle this evil disease. It is truly an honor to hold you up when you are feeling down.

    Minnesota hugs,
    Jolene

    #30458
    tess
    Member

    I was so sorry to read your post Suzanne…. I can imagine that I would feel the same emotions as you are going through, asking the same questions.

    All my best to you as you continue to search out options.

    Tess

    #30457
    marions
    Moderator

    Suzanne: I also would like to echo Kris, Lainy, and Jamie in sending to you my love, hope, and strengths. As I had read once: First you cry…then you fight.
    Hugs
    Marion

    #30456
    jamie-d
    Member

    Suzanne;
    I think Kris said it beautifully. I too know the devastation of reoccurance. Mine was in June. I have a couple of tumors in my liver and multiple spots in both lungs so they rule out chemoembolization. I am back on chemo and fighting. It is harder this time, my bone marrow doesn’t seem to want to work so I am only on one of the drugs I was on before. It has been 2 months now and I try to stay positive and hopeful. My faith has gotten me through these days. You are a strong woman, you have a supportive family and I believe you will get your fight back once you get over the initial shock and devastation. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    God Bless,
    Jamie

    #30455
    lainy
    Participant

    Suzanne I am so sorry for your news. I cannot say anything better than how Kris put it. She is living it like you are and her words are not only words from a
    “sister” but great words of wisdom as well. You are in our prayers. Hope & Attitude are everything!

    #30454
    devoncat
    Participant

    It does suck. And I understand the fear and frustration of the return. I too get angry and question why me? Sometimes I rant at the world. My husband is a prosecuter and I wonder why I get cancer and these terrible people dont.

    Hang in there. The first couple of days are tough. The tears, the anger, the frustrations, the what ifs. Then you realise that life is fantastic and you are strong enough because you have no other option. You either embrace life, love and laughter and fight or you dont. When you have endured everything you have, it means you have the strength to do it again. You feel good now…so go for it. You managed surgery and chemo before and you can do it again. You might have more tumors than you want, but they are small and NOT in control…you and your doctors are. You shrank tumors once, who is to say it cant happen again.

    When I got the reoccurance news…i said what the hell. I will not stand this so Hans and I got dressed up, went to a fancy resturaunt and “celebrated”, not the return of cancer, but the return of the cancer soldier. I decided that I was going to throw happiness and life down like a guantlet and tell this beast that I have a lot to live for and i will not go down without a fight. I will not be a coward or cowed by cc and you will find this strength too…I know because I have already seen it in you.

    KRis

    #2547
    suzannegm
    Member

    Well, got the results of my last scan and the news is not good. Multiple tumors (greater than 20) grew back with my resected liver. I was only resected in February 2009! The only plus side is they are all sub-centimeter. I meet with the interventional radiologist tomorrow to discuss radio- or chemo-embolization. May possibly do systemic chemo with FOLFOX if insurance approves.

    This was NOT what I was expecting AT ALL! I thought worst case maybe 1 or 2 tumors, but greater that 20? I’m back to all my original questions, why, what did I do, I’m a bad person, etc., again the answers are the same, there are no answers.

    Needless to say my husband and I and my family are devastated and disappointed. I thought we were going to get to be “normal” for a while, no chemo, no procedures, but here we go again. I’m tired. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do this all again. I’m not giving up but my spirits are definitely in the dumpster right now. This SUCKS!

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