mum’s liver failing
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- This topic has 9 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 14 years ago by kimmie.
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November 10, 2010 at 5:42 pm #43976kimmieSpectator
Oh Varun, I’m so sorry. My mother was 64 when she died and still so physically and emotionally young. Though I’m a bit older than you at 41. I know the thought of not having your mother as long as you should is such a hard thing to deal with. As you mentioned, just keep those happy memories you have of her in your heart and mind.
I’m sorry hospice isn’t common in India. Does she have good pain medication to keep her comfortable? One thing I can say is talk to her – even when she appears to be sleeping or unresposive, she WILL HEAR YOU!
I am keeping your Mom, as well as you and your Dad and brother in my prayers. Take some comfort in knowing you are a wonderful daughter and are doing all you can to make your Mom comfortable.
November 10, 2010 at 5:05 pm #43975varun_tholasiMemberThank you everyone for all the support, I really appreciate the help and advice everyone’s given me. I’m trying to spend as much time with her as I can, she’s become so unresponsive and weak, it troubles me so much, makes me cry all the time, killing me from within! I wish god could take some of my life and give it to her.
She did everything she ever could for me, I remember every moment everything she ever did for me, for my dad and for my brother! It’s so upsetting that she’s only 56 and I’m just 24, I never ever thought I could lose my mom at this age, always thought I would see her grow old with me!
The hospice movement is still in it’s infancy in India, I just checked on that.. we are getting a nurse to stay at home to take care of her.
Thanks everyone for everything!
Varun
November 10, 2010 at 3:53 am #43974tiapattyMemberVarun,
Your last question is the eternal question we all struggle with here. I am sure that since her diagnosis you have created many memories that will comfort you in the years to come. You ask if there is anything more you can do and, yes, there is something–you can surround her with your love and warmth. When my mother was worsening she felt pain more deeply but she also felt love more deeply. It is in our darkest hours that we realize the importance of simple acts of compassion.
Patty
November 9, 2010 at 11:09 pm #43973marionsModeratorVarun….I don’t have anything to add to what has been said to you already. My heart is with you. This is a precious time for all. I wish for strenght and comfort to surround you and your family.
Hugs
MarionNovember 9, 2010 at 7:53 pm #43972vwallisMemberThis is such a tough time. It is a blessing for your mum to have such a loving family. I send my prayers and a million giant hugs to you and your family. She is a brave warrior and so are you.
November 9, 2010 at 7:45 pm #43971gavinModeratorDear Varun,
I am very sorry to hear this news about your mum. I so know what you are going through right now as it was only a year ago that I was at this stage with my dad. Just to echo what Lainy said, the comfort of your mum is indeed so important now and I know that you will do everything that you possibly can to keep your mum as comfortable as possible.
This is a tough time Varun, but I know that you will have the strength to see your mum through it. And please know that we are all here for you and know what you are going through. My thoughts are with you and your mum right now.
Gavin
November 9, 2010 at 6:56 pm #43968slittle1127MemberDear Varun – These are difficult days for you, but also an opportunity to say good bye and have no regrets. Hold you mum close in spirit and in body. You have fought a good fight and you are all finishing as well as you can. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I pray for peace and comfort for you and your family. Know we are thinking of you as you face the day. Blessings, Susan
November 9, 2010 at 6:28 pm #43970katieloumattMemberHi Varun,
I would like to echo what Lainy has said.
I was wondering if the hospice movement is at work in India? Hospices focus on the comfort of the patient in a holistic environment either within the hospice building or within the patient’s own home via the outreach/homecare service. Support is also offered to the whole family.
Sending you strength as you journey along your Mum’s path from this world surrounded by the love of her family.
Katie
November 9, 2010 at 4:29 pm #43969lainySpectatorDear Varun, we are so very sorry about your Mother. We have not figured out yet why bad things happen to good people. But look at the great good she had from having you! Take her home and comfort is the key word. I am sure the doctor will give her something for pain. And while she is comfortable share loving memories that you will have forever. Our thoughts and prayers go out to your family.
November 9, 2010 at 3:16 pm #4288varun_tholasiMemberHi everyone,
My mum’s condition has worsened, she has high jaundice (bili of 13), ascites, swollen legs and extreme fatigue. She feels very sleepy all the time, and has shortness of breath, she has no strength to even stand and she hardly talks. She has an external drain now since about 5 months. Her bile color is olive green and very thick and not clear. The external drain is only collecting about 30 ml a day, the doc says her liver isn’t making enough bile for it to collect more.
He also says she’s going through liver failure and we can’t do anything about it. He told u to go back home and spend time and give her as much comfort till whatever time she lives instead of running around in the hospital. He says she has maybe days, or at most weeks left.
She’s had a good quality of life for almost 2.5 years, and it’s been exactly 3 years since diagnosis. I guess this is the end, there is nothing we can do. Is there anything more we can do for her?
I thank everyone for all the support all these years, without this forum we would have been so lost! I thank god that I found you all. But I do wonder, why do such bad things happen to good people?
Varun
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