My beautiful daughter

Pamela, I’m a Pamela too! I read your Caring Bridge blog and want to thank you for letting us know how Lauren is doing. I read your posts and send prayers every day to you all. Lauren is such a beautiful girl and your family photos show you are so close. My heart aches for you all. I don’t post very often, but I want to say I really care. Pam

Hello Pamela….know that Lauren is on our minds and in our hearts. Pamela, I had problems opening the link however, the link posted in the “Blog” section works just fine. (Don’t know why that is so.)
You are so right in that our kids will always be that….yes, they grow in to adults, but for us parents they continue to by our kids. Lauren appears to have things well under control and the fact that her pain has diminished makes things much more hopeful.
It is difficult to stay strong, but when put to the test surprisingly we do rise to the occasion. And, you are doing it also. Know that we are here for you. This is the place where you don’t have to hold back on your thoughts and fears. We understand.
I am wishing for continued strengths for Lauren and your wonderful family.
All my best wishes (coupled with tons of hugs)
Marion

Dear Pam,

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter Lauren’s diagnosis. My husband John was diagnosed a little over three years ago. His only symptom was a small pain in his right side, too. His doctor thought it might be a kidney stone, but after CT scan showed a huge mass in his liver, we went through numerous scans and tests plus biopsies and he was operated on at UVA within a three-week timeframe. His surgeon called me from the operating room and said they were dealing with more than he had anticipated. The surgeon ended up removing 70 percent of his liver, his right kidney, gallbladder, part of his stomach and colon. They told us this was his only option and that chemo or radiation weren’t options. The surgeon thought he had gotten everything but that was not the case. On his 3-month scans, two spots showed up on the part of the liver that was left. Thinking it was blood spots from the surgery, they waited until his next 3-month scans and by that time he had multiple tumors. Asking what his options were, the doctors were at a loss. They finally decided to treat him with the chemo they use on metastatic colon cancer patients. It sounds like what your daughter is on because after receiving chemo at the cancer center, he was also hooked up to a pump for 48 hours at home. He did fairly well on this until his 17th treatment and he had a very bad reaction to it. His only complaints were his sensitivity to cold, headache, constipation, weakness and tiredness. He is now on gemzar/cisplatin/avastin but has never been able to get it like he’s supposed to because his counts drop way too low. His oncologist is now checking to see if there are any clinical trials he could get in. He says we are running out of options. John keeps busy doing whatever he can, and rest when he needs to. I think attitude plays a major role in how people react to this cancer. Just continue to give Lauren all the support that I know you will and help her keep a fighting spirit. I am now checking into other alternative treatments because I’m not ready to give up on the love of my life. We just celebrated our 36th anniversary, and I hope to see many more. My prayers are with you and your family and especially Lauren. May God bless each of you, PeggyP

My whole post just disappeared while I was typing, so I will try again…maybe a shorter version.

Dear Pamela, I am so sorry that both you and your daughter are on this journey. She is so young to be having to deal with this. Much too young. I feel my mom, at the age of 63, is too young for this. However, this is also what gets my mom through this…knowing that it isn’t me or her grand daughter going through this. You both will be in our thoughts and prayers. I just wanted to let you know, I try so hard to find common characteristics in these cases. The only thing I can seem to come up with is that your daughter really has her age on her side. It seems that younger adults, say under 50, respond better to treatments. Again, this is just from the reading I have done. I am going to pass on anther message board that has helped me also.

http://csn.cancer.org/node/211058

There is a lady that is more than happy to share her story. She was diagnosed and given 6 months as her tumor was unresctable, she is here to tell her story 5 1/2 years later. I do not know where I would be if it wasn’t for this board and that board. Everyone has been so helpful.

As for your crying, I think that is normal. It is all I do when I am by myself. And I like to be by myself a lot when I am not with my mother. However, I do notice that I do not cry as much when the doctors are not around. Since my mom got out of the hospital a few weeks ago and I met with her main doctor, I was crying non stop. We all would cry together. then we met with our second opinion doctor who told us the same thing, and I kept crying. When I got the letters from the doctors, to give to my work, letting them know that Ineed to help care for my mother, cried constantly. However, I stay with my mom two days during the work week and my dad takes over the other 3 days. weekends we are always coming and going. I see her, and yesterday she was doing so much better. I don’t understand the doctors and there time lines and everything just seems okay and all will be well.

You can’t let the doctors decide how you should feel…they just bring you down, most of the time. Even my family members that are doctors do the same.

Just know that you have lots of people here that are rooting for your daughter…and you too, to give you the strength you will need.

Hugs to you.

Pam,

Hi. I am 31 years old and have intrahepatic cholangiocarcinoma. I had a liver resection in May of this year and now get chemo and will be starting radiation soon. I just wanted to say hello and let you know there are people on this site around your daughter’s age. I also presented with what I assumed was gallbladder pain and was blown off by the medical system. Dr’s just seemed to assume it was nothing because of my age. Anyway, I wish you both the best and if there is anything I can do to help please feel free to outreach. Although I live in Oregon now, I am originally from Pittsburgh, PA and received my surgery at UPMC. So, not too far from where you are located.
Take Care!
Susie