My Chemo Journey . . .
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Kathy, I have seen parts of her documentary on lifetime before I was diagnosed and I think I will have to make a point of watching it. I have a very hard time reading at chemo. It seems to be too loud and distracting and with all of the fluid I get and the mannitol they give my with my Cisplatin I am up to the bathroom a lot. Movies have seem to be the best thing to do to occupy my time.
I feel so much more emotionally stable last week and this week so far. I think I figured out what it is I need in life to make my heart feel better. A good cry, good sex and a good drunk. In that order. After that it seems that life is so much easier to deal with.
I sure can tell that I am getting further into my treatments. I feel much more tired today and I usually do after my day 1 treatment. I know the chemo is compounding and each cycle knocks me down a little more than the last one. At this point in my chemo if I have made it this far the last 2 cycles have nothing on me. On another good note I think spring is finally gonna come and give us some nice weather. Soon camping season will be upon us and I will have some fun in the sun with my family.
Till next time,
ShariKathy….It has been a long time since we have had anyone mention her site. Here is the link: http://www.crazysexycancer.com/
Thanks for bringing it up.
All my best wishes,
MarionShari,
Have you read , “The Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor?” If not, try it. She was young when diagnosed .. given a short time to live…almost 10 years ago! She’ll cheer you up..she has a great website, too, and a recently published cookbook that is now on the NY TImes Best Seller list…
You really have a great attitude…Keep on keeping on.
KathyShari…That is fantastic news, Shari. You have made it through the rough spot.
All my best wishes,
MarionThat’s great news Shari! Yes, good cries clear out unwanted emotions and make you feel better! I think Spring is just around the corner and you will be enjoying the warmth of the sunshine soon. Have a great day! Nancy
Hi all,
I am starting my 6th cycle of chemo today. Lab work looks good and my hemoglobin is in the 11’s after my blood. I had a wonderful week off from chemo and have been feeling great. I wasn’t emotional last week and I think I just really needed a good cry. I had a PET scan last week to recheck the spots on my lung and they didn’t look suspicious. They will continue to watch it with my follow-up CT scans. Now if we could only get a break from this cold weather and all of this snow and it would start to feel like spring.
ShariShari,
Hope your feeling better. I just read your posts and can relate to crying at the drop of at hat at anything and everything during chemo. I’d cry for myself, I’d cry for others and I’d cry over commercials on tv, etc.etc. It’s the steroids. It can also happen when you go off steroids. People react differently to steroids and even differently at different times, but the emotions you described are very normal while on and off steroids. I took them 4 days out of 7 during chemo weeks. It will pass.
Kathy
Tears aren’t a bad thing. I’ve read they release toxins out of your body.
Count me in, Shari. Beach and Margaritas….hmmm. Us Californias are shivering, because it is really cold here well, for California standards that is.
You have tons of love coming your way,
MarionShari, imagine this: you come to Phoenix and we sit by a pool sipping bloody Mary’s in the morning, Margarita’s for lunch and Champagne Cocktails at dinner. Then we go on a huge shopping spree in Scottsdale, money is no object. Oh, we have to slip in a day at the SPA, maybe run through it twice. In the evening we shall take in a Broadway play. So far so good, I am liking this “Fantasy” myself! I hope you are on the rise up again.
Thanks Lainy, Nancy, and Marion,
I have just had a really emotional week. I cry at the drop of a hat for no real good reason. Anything just makes me want to cry. I physically feel pretty good this week, especially after getting blood. I have a good friend that has been a great shoulder to cry on, and think I might be feeling a little better. I know that a week off from chemo will help. This funk of mine will pass and I will be back to my usual self. I will just have to imagine myself on a beach somewhere enjoying a margarita
ShariShari…..Definitely, not. You are not the only one with these feelings. At times it really helps to let it all out. I am glad that you did because; this is a board of real people, with real feelings.
BTW: have you ever had the chance to read up on Dr. Giles’ responses to others? It has helped me through some of my rough spots and possibly it might help you too. Or, you might even want to drop him a note.
Hang in there. All of us are rooting for you.
All my best wishes are heading your way,
MarionShari – From what I am reading, you are doing incredibly well keeping your emotions in check. No one can — or should — expect more than that! Depression and breakdown moments (or days) are a “normal” part of dealing with cancer. Do not be so hard on yourself. You sound like an awesome person. Recharge….recharge…..recharge….Nancy
Hmm, now let me see, the doctor is in and the verdict is “YOU ARE NORMAL”.
If you don’t stop being so hard on yourself, you will meet yourself in a dark alley and NOT like what you do to you! OK Enough of that. I think you are going through this beautifully and better than most. Everyone deserves to have some down time and then, enough until the next one! I am hoping for you to keep up the great job you are doing and feel good, that is most important. Looking forward to you next post.Hi,
This week I finished my 5th cycle of chemo and had a crappy few days. I don’t know if it is the weather of if I finally hit a wall and needed a few days of poor me and a good cry, but I now feel up to writing about how I am feeling. I am feeling okay, but my hemoglobin is down again and I am starting to feel very short of breath and crappy when I exert myself. So here I sit getting ready to get 2 units of blood.
It is hard to explain all of the feelings that I have had the past few days, and even harder to explain why I feel bad for having these feelings. I have been fortunate in that chemo hasn’t been that hard on me. I am able to work almost full time, only taking off my chemo days and when I need blood. I don’t have many side effects from the chemo and am able to feel just about normal day to day. For me keeping my normal routine had been my greatest coping mechanism. I have given up certain things during the past few months of chemo. I no longer go to the gym as it really gets to be a bit too much. I also have gained a little weight, thanks to the no gym and steroids.
I know that I am harder on myself than most anybody expects me to be, but we are our worst critics aren’t we. My attitude has been back to normal now, and I think I just needed a few days of a bad attitude.
I’m sure I am not the only one who has had these feelings, and it is very hard to accurately voice what I am feeling. I am not blessed with the ability to find the right words to explain how I feel.
I want to thank everybody on this website for listening to me ramble. This website has been a great source of encouragement for me.
I am looking forward to have a good week off from chemo, getting some rest and recharging before starting cycle 6.
Shari
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