My dad
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- This topic has 11 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 14 years ago by katieloumatt.
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December 13, 2010 at 8:20 am #45431katieloumattMember
Hi AEW, and welcome to the site, where you will find friendship, support and advice….
Just to add to what the others have already said, the more information and research you have when you go to meet the oncologist the more prepared you will feel.
At the top of the page are tabs that hold a lot of informtion, press the tab ‘search forum’, enter your question and you will find lots…
Please come back often and update us,
Katie
December 13, 2010 at 3:36 am #45430slittle1127MemberDear Shadow – Thanks for posting the you tube on Arthur and cancer. I’ll be glad to watch it and then see about sharing it with my grandchildren. We can watch it together and then talk about it. Thanks, again. Blessings, Susan
December 12, 2010 at 6:05 pm #45429jathy1125SpectatorAEW- Welcome to this wonderful” boat” of people. I am a cc survivor. I was only 53 when diagnosed so 62 is young. I also had no symptons just very itchy. I had a little bit of a rocky road getting diagnosed. What saved my life was educated doctors. I was treated at Barnes-Jewish in St. Louis, MO. Barnes and Mayo clinic are cutting edge hospitals for disease. I would think about getting information from a larger hospital such as Vanderbilt. Teaching hospitals tend to be more advance in there knowledge of rare cancers such as bile duct. Don’t be afraid to get another opinion if you don’t like what you hear, this is a very tricky cancer. I am alive because of a cc clinical trial involving a liver transplant ( I ended up getting 2!!) Good luck and lots of prayers there is hope _Cathy
December 12, 2010 at 4:49 pm #45428shadowMemberWell I know it might be a little juvenile for an 8-year-old but I just watching an episode of “Arthur” with my son and it was on cancer. I thought it was nicely explained and hopeful. I looked it up and found it on You Tube. It’s called : The Great MacGrady. It’s in 3 parts. You may want to look at it and then decide if you want to show it to your daughter.
Hope it helps.
December 12, 2010 at 9:00 am #45427slittle1127MemberMy 2 year old granddaughter tells me to sit while she checks on her Papa. She kisses him and covers him with his blanket and tells me he is ok. When he leaves the bedroom, which is rare, she announces to everyone, “That’s my Papa.” She doesn’t understand what is going on, but she is very much a part of it. Blessings, Susan
December 12, 2010 at 6:26 am #4542632coupeSpectatorAmy,
Lainy is spot on (as usual). First, this is a forum that thinks it’s “family”. You’ll soon know what I mean. And kids should know what’s going on without excess detail, in my opinion. My grandaughter was six when I had my surgery. When I came home, I was told told to walk as much as I could tolerate as soon as I could. On one of my brief walks, my grandaughter told her mother she was going to go along with me “In case papa faints”. She understood that her papa was sick and she could help. Please keep us updated.God Bless!
bobDecember 12, 2010 at 12:06 am #45425aewSpectatorThank you both very much. We recently lost my mamaw(grandma) in September and she handled that very well. She knew she was in Heaven and not hurting anymore. She will know the same for her papaw. I will definitely visit this site often.
Lainy, I am so sorry for your loss and commend you for being such a trooper and reaching out to others. Godspeed!
December 11, 2010 at 6:31 am #45424slittle1127MemberWe have a 5 1/2 year old grandson. He had a grandma die in October 2009 and we have been helping him grieve this loss by making memory books, coloring pictures of things they did together and talking about how much she loved him. It was a sad day when Papa had to tell him that he was going to live in Heaven with God some day soon. Our grandson turned to me and said, “Nana, I guess we have to make another memory book.” I cried but I was glad that we had been teaching him that grieving is ok and loss is a part of life – a lesson we wished he didn’t have to learn so young. Since she is so close to her grandpa she will know that he doesn’t feel well. I agree with Lainy that if she is part of the game plan early on, it will be better for her. Of course, keep information appropriate to her age level – grandpa isn’t well and the doctors are trying to help him. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Blessings, Susan
December 11, 2010 at 3:41 am #45423lainySpectatorAmy, as for the children, this is just my own personal opinion. I feel if they are “in on it” from the beginning, they learn and grow from it, it will be less of a shock later. My 4 grandkids where we live are 14 – 21. The 2 older ones are away at college which leaves Kyle 16 and Brandon 14 to put up with Mom and Grandma. My husband passed last Monday night and 3 times during the day he called out Kyle/Brandon. The last time was about 830PM. My daughter called the boys and she said, “I just want to tell you Papa id dying and he has called out your names. Now you don’t have to come here but I wanted you to know.” In 15 minutes they walked through the Hospice door! They did not say a word, they did not go near Papa (they were scared) but within 5 minutes, He went to his peace. The kids say he taught them a lot of lessons and we felt this was his last lesson to teach, that Passing over is OK. The other thing we felt is that no one else is here but the 4 of us and he wanted us all together when the time came. Believe me, some cute, yes cute things even happened during that day that showed he knew very well what he was doing. So, my lengthy answer is yes. You don’t have to tell her everything but that her Grandpa is not well.
One more thing. If you go to the doctors with him you might want to take notes or take a tape recorder.December 11, 2010 at 3:23 am #45422aewSpectatorThank you Lainy and my name is Amy. He is being treated at ParkWest Hospital in Knoxville, Tn and will be going home tomorrow, however I cannot remember the name of the oncologist he has decided to take this journey with. I’ve been a bit of a basket case and can’t remember much of anything right now. When I get the correct group I will post. This has been such a shock to our family but we are a strong & close family, so we will continue on.
The hardest part right now is not telling my 8 yr old daughter, his only grandchild. He is her world & vice versa. He doesn’t want her to know anything until we know the exact treatment plan, side effects, etc. Does anyone on here have any advice on how children deal with this and what’s the best way to tell them what’s going on? I’m sure we will have to tell her sooner rather than later. They spend every Sunday afternoon together.
Again so very thankful for this extended family.
December 11, 2010 at 2:53 am #45421lainySpectatorAEW, Welcome to our wonderful family! Yep, that is how our little sneaky CC operates. One minute you are the picture of health the next …you know the rest. It sounds like your father is in good hands. May I ask where he is being treated? You have a week and a half to go and I see you have been readiing our posts as you used the phrase “game plan”. This CC is scary but I always say when the plan is set you really begin to fight and somehow you become a stronger person. Good luck on everything and please keep us posted. Visit us often, you are not alone!
December 11, 2010 at 2:01 am #4459aewSpectatorHello all! I was searching the interent to try & find some positive thoughts concerning CC. And I found this wonderful site. About a month ago my dad started having some stomach problems and thought it was the medication he had been taking for aome slipped discs in his neck. Jaundice began about a week ago, Monday he was admitted to the hospital where they discovered a tumor that looks to be in his bile duct by CT scan. Also lymph nodes swollen. Today he received his diagnosis of carcinoma. The doctors still are not completely sure where the cancer originated and not certain if it is in the bile duct or pancreas. He will be seeing an oncologist Dec 21 to get a “game plan” together.
I am thankful to have found this support group. He is being very positive and I am trying to be as well. He is 62 and up until 2 weeks ago, thought in the best health ever. Just 8 weeks ago, had complete physical and complete bill of health. He is honestly one of my best friends and thankful for a place to come to when I need a little support.
Prayers and thoughts with you all!
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