March 10, 2009 at 7:14 pm #27109darlaParticipant
I am sure that dealing with your own pain & loss is hard enough and then you have to also be there for your sons. I am sorry that your older son has to deal with the loss of not only his Grandfather, but also a close friend. It is hard enough being 15 with out adding all this grief to the mix. I don’t blame him for being angry. Is there a counselor at school that he could talk to about his feelings if he is open to doing that?
I ask myself that same question every day. What about us who are let behind? It is a daily struggle, but I was told to just keep putting one foot in front of the other & deal with things as they come at you, one day at a time. I am trying to do that. It is not always easy, but what choice do we have? I realize now that I am not in control & never was. I think that everything has a way of working itself out eventually. Probably not always in the way we want or expect it to, but hopefully for the best in the end. I will be hoping for that for you & your family.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaMarch 10, 2009 at 6:13 pm #27108geminiMember
Thank you so much for your words of encourgement and support. It feels like a great big HUG!!!
I know it will get better, and that at least he is no longer suffering and in a better place, but what about everyone left behind? my mom, sister, brother, six grandchildren. I find it hard enough to cope on my own and then theres everyone else to think about. I have two sons, one is 15 and the youngest is 13. they are having a really difficult time with it. They were both really close with my dad. My older son is even having problems at school (to top it off, a good friend of his whom he had lunch with everyday was struck by a car and passed away last week, so he came home and asked me why everyone around him is dying). so right now the emotions that he is feeling is anger and that is affecting his school work.March 10, 2009 at 8:21 am #27107micsylParticipant
I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers at this very difficult time.
Lots of love and strength
MichelleMarch 10, 2009 at 4:52 am #27106tiapattyMember
This is a cowardly cancer, there is no doubt, it does not fight fair. I am so sorry for your loss and I am glad that writing it down has helped you, when we ask others to bear witness to what we have endured, we find we are are not alone and that there is great comfort in numbers.
I lost my mom to cc and the surgeon said her gallbladder was riddled with cancer as well but that it looked to be a different cancer and I, too, wonder if the cc would have developed if the gallbladder had been removed years ago. I am not sure if any research has been done on this but I think it is worth studying.
PattyMarch 9, 2009 at 8:22 pm #27105brookerpParticipant
Dear Grace – I am so, so sorry about your father. I lost my daddy January 14 of this year and he was 73. You are right about writing it down, it does help! That is why this site has been my life saver for the last 2 months. Everyone here has been so supportive and comforting when I needed it the most. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this time. Take care of yourself and remember all the special memories you and your daddy shared (they are so special between a daddy and his daughter)
Smiles through tears,
PatsyMarch 9, 2009 at 6:05 pm #27104darlaParticipant
I am so sorry for your loss. I truely understand the shock & pain you are now experiencing and how overwhelming it all is. My experience was very much the same. My husband passed away 7 weeks after his first symptoms and only 1 week after being definitively diagnoised with CC. He was 62. I know how hard it is to believe that this could happen & so quickly. Just know that your Dad is now in a better place, free from the suffering & pain of this monsterous disease. He will be with you forever in your heart and memories.
I found this site shortly after my husband passed on. The people here are all so kind, compassionate and understanding. Feel free to come on & post whatever & whenever you want or need to. The help & support of everyone here is just phenomenal. Try to take care of yourself now and know that my thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaMarch 9, 2009 at 5:41 pm #27103lainyParticipant
Dear Grace, I am so very sorry to hear about your father’s terrible time and what you have gone through. Thank goodness he had such a wonderful daughter and family to help him through this nightmare journey. Please feel free to write us anytime and please accept our deepest sympathy. You write us anytime you like we are here and ready to read your posts. Remember that your father will always live in your heart and mind, he has just gone to another room. Prayers to you and your family.March 9, 2009 at 4:51 pm #2084geminiMember
I have been reading alot of posts on this site for about 2 months ( I wish I had found it sooner) because there is so much information on here. I am from Toronto, Canada and my father was first digonsed in September of 2007. Before that he was a strong, healthy man who always went for check-ups and tests. 6 months before he was diagnosed our family doctor sent him to a specialist for gallbladder stones. The specialist saw that there were stones but told him if they don’t bother you (which they didn’t) we don’t need to do anything. (I am convinced that that is what led to this cancer) Anyway when he was diagnosed in September of 2007, we had taken him to the emergency room for pain (we thought it was the gallstones) they did a cat scan and biopsy and 3 days later said it was cancer, stage 4 – and refered him to Princess Margaret Hospital – shortly after he was started on chemo (which they said was palliative) and was on the chemo till december of 2008 – he had great quality of life and was feeling good. In Late december of 2008 they stopped the chemo because it was no longer working. from then on he started going downhill. In late january they did a round of radiation (which did not help him at all) At this point he was in alot of pain, had lost alot of weight, was depressed and could not sleep. On February 9th, he had an appointment to see the palliative doctor at Princess margaret, she changed his pain meds from morphine to dalaid and it helped immensely by the 11th of February he was doing great, he looked great, was eating. they did a cat scan and ultrasound on February 12th, I went to the hospital every night and noticed how well he was doing. on February 13th, Me and my brother went to the hospital early morning. The doctor came in called me, my mom and brother out of the room and informed us that he could die at anytime, they had found when they did the ultrasound that he had a bowel obstruction and for us to call the rest of the family. We were in shock. My dad at the age of 71 passed away on February 14th at 10:15 pm. I still cannot believe what has happened and how quick it happened. It was one of the most painfull things that I have ever been through or watched.
I’m sorry this thread is sooo long – but it helped writing it all down.
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