Discussion Board Forums General Discussion My dad is getting worse

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 27 total)
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  • #36467
    gavin
    Moderator

    Dear Matilda,

    I am very sorry to hear that dad has entered the hospice. But I know that here, they will take the best possible care of your dad and make him as comfortable as is possible. My dad went into hospice last December and they took the most amazing care of him there, and I know that they will do the same for your dad.

    Yes this is a very hard, I know how hard it is for you having just gone through the same. I spent the last 16 hours of my dads life by his side and held his hand as he took his last breaths. For sure, I will never forget these hours, but what I remember more than that, is all the years that we had together. Nothing or no one can take all of these memories away from me, and no one or nothing will take all the good memories that you have of your dad away from you.

    I agree with what everyone else is saying, please go and see your dad.

    My best wishes to you and your dad,

    Gavin

    #36466
    lalupes
    Participant

    Dear Matilda

    This must be so very, very hard for you & my heart goes out to you. My personal view is the same as the others’ – I, too, would want to be with my loved one – but I know that whatever decision you make will be the right one for you, so please follow your heart.

    My best to you & your dad.

    Julia xx

    #36491
    jeffgrieder
    Member

    I agree, I could not imagine allowing Marc to leave this world without being by his side. I know that is what he wants and I am sure your Dad would love that as well.

    #36490
    darla
    Participant

    Matilda,

    I too know all about wht you are feeling and going through right now. I too agree with the others that if possible you sould go to see him. Thinking of you.

    Love & Hugs,
    Darla

    #36489
    katieloumatt
    Member

    Matilda,

    Like Janet and Marion have said, please try and make the journey to see your Dad and be with him….

    I was with my Dad, holding his hand as he took his last breath in this world, it was the most incredibly painful moment but one I can’t imagine now not being there for.

    I know all about not being able to sleep and eat as well….. Go, it may just in some small way help ypu to deal with what is happening….

    Thinking of you,

    Katie

    #36488
    magic
    Participant

    Go to see your dad,You will remember him when he was well,that is how our brains deal with this,but you need to be there with him now Janet

    #36487
    marions
    Moderator

    Dear Matilda…..the care hospice will provide for your Dad will include pain relief and a measurable degree of comfort. And, that is what is needed.
    My heart is with you at this very special time.
    Hugs coming your way,
    Marion

    #36486
    matilda
    Participant

    My dad is in the hospice now as they have found lots of mets. It’s unbelievable that my dad is going after 2 months from his diagnosis. In Italy now it’s 5.30 a.m. and I have been awake for three hours now. I can’t sleep anymore. I want to go to Forl

    #36485
    gavin
    Moderator

    Hi Matilda,

    Has your dad tried prunes as they seemed to help for my dad. He was also given Lactulose which he took first thing in the morning and last thing at night and that also seemed to help him. Hope your dad gets some good news today from his hospital visit.

    My best wishes and lots of good thoughts coming your way.

    Gavin

    #36484
    lalupes
    Participant

    I’m thinking of you, Matilda, & sending hugs & healing thoughts. xx

    #36483
    matilda
    Participant
    Walk wrote:
    Mathilda,

    I am not aware of your location, but is there a hospice type organization you can contact to help with your dad?

    Your father should be checked for bowel impaction. Continuing to give him laxatives that aren’t working should not be acceptable. We went through the same ordeal.

    Jan

    We are in Italy and there are hospices, we are ready whenever doctors say it’s his moment. My father today has been visited in the hospital and they postponed the chemo as he was too weak. He should get his chemo April, 9th. However, tomorrow he will go again to the hospital with my mum because they want to see if he has resolved his constipation. My daddy is still constipated and he has been in that way for 11 days now. Doctors said that he must go to the toilet in three days time. My mother is giving him lots of vegetables and fruit but nothing seems to work. We are very demoralized.

    Matilda

    #36482
    katja
    Member

    So sorry to hear of your dad’s suffering Matilda. It must be very difficult for you and your brother if your dad is finding it hard and the doctors are not communicating very well. Try to force the issue by taking him to the emergency department if you can?

    I’m very much hoping he (and you) gets some relief and answers soon.
    Kate

    #36481
    walk
    Member

    Mathilda,

    I am not aware of your location, but is there a hospice type organization you can contact to help with your dad?

    Your father should be checked for bowel impaction. Continuing to give him laxatives that aren’t working should not be acceptable. We went through the same ordeal.

    Jan

    #36480
    darla
    Participant

    Matlida,

    I am so sorry for what your Dad, you & your family are experiencing. Yes, it is very sad, emotional and also stressful for all of you. Maybe he should be taken in to emergency rather than waiting for tomorrow to see the oncologist if he is in so much pain. His comfort is most important and he should not have to be in such pain. There are other meds he can be given for the constipation and also for the anxiety and depression if necessary also. Know that I am thinking of all of you and hoping for the best.

    Love & Hugs,
    Darla

    #36479
    matilda
    Participant

    Monday my dad saw the cardiologist. He said he’s heart is in good conditions. He has taken laxative since last Wednesday but he is still constipated. In fact, he has been constipated for 10 days now. He is very weak and has pain all over his body.
    Tomorrow my dad will see his oncologist and fortunately my mum is there to help him. My father is also becoming very emotional. Sunday, when he saw my older btother, he couldn’t stop crying. This is very sad!

    Matilda

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