My Darling Husband, Anthony. How has a year gone by without you?
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Dear Pauline,
What a wonderful tribute to Anthony. I know how much you love & miss him & also how much he loved you. Yes, he will be with you forever in your heart and your memories. That is something that will never go away. Thank you for sharing some of that with all of us.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDearest Pauline, what a beautiful tribute to your husband. Yes, it seems like only yesterday and yet a whole year has passed. A man so wonderful as Anthony would have only picked a lovely wife as you. I am positive he is all around you in many ways. All your wonderful memories will be with you always. Anthony is also thinking of you:
If I should be the first to go,
And leave you alone, My Dear,
Let not your heart be lonely,
Nor in your eye a tear.Grieve not for me, my darling,
I’ll not be far away,
With petals of love and tenderness,
I’ll pave for you the way.To join me in our sanctuary,
And ne’er again we’ll part,
Grieve not for me, my darling,
I live within your heart.Take joy again in living,
As you did in years gone by,
God knows of what He’s doing,
And not be questioned why,Grieve not for me, my darling,
My life with you on earth,
Each moment filled with happiness,
And love so few be worth.I’ll be waiting for you Sweetheart,
Where skys are ever blue,
With eager heart and open arms,
Patiently for you.Grieve not for me, my darling,
May faith and my love keep
Your soul filled with contentment,
Eternally I sleep.To my dear friend Pauline,
So eloquently written, Pauline. Your Anthony must have been a very special person, as I know that you are also. I know how much you miss him – the “aloneness” gets to us , doesn’t it? Day after day of it. I am so glad that I have my daughter and her family to love and support me, and I still have my parents, also. They are wonderful, but, Lord – how I miss Butch. He was my soul mate and there is an emptyness that nothing can fill. I even try to tell myself that I am Ok – handled it all very well, but – I can’t fool myself! In the end, I am still lonely and he is still gone from me. My solace is to remind myself that we shall meet again one day, “on that other shore”.Love – Joyce
Dearest Pauline,
I am so, so sorry about your husband, Anthony. It’s sooooooo difficult isn’t. It sure sounded like he was a beautiful man and you loved each other a lot. My beloved died 51 days ago and I feel like I’ve been ripped from a beautiful, happy life, had my arms and legs cut off and flung into hell. I miss my husband soooo much.
The tribute you wrote to your husband is beautiful and so touching.
Sending you hugs,
DanielleThankyou Pauline for that inspiring post.I too of course miss my husband,Joel and so much for his conversation.As a journalist he was good to talk to about absolutely everything and now I find myself always imagining his response.But also your post made me think how valuable my work as a nurse and despite the difficulties getting back to work,it is not good to let 30 years experience go to waste.
So thanks ,Pauline and I truly wish for things to feel a little better for you but it is wonderful to make the difference to others lives when you are struggling as we all are love from JanetPauline;
What a touching post. Anthony sounded like the kind of man that anyone would be honored to have know. I am sorry for your loss. Take care and God Bless,
JamieIt is so hard to believe that it is now a year since you left me on 30th July 2008 after those terrible, traumatic days of pain and fear. July 2009 has been another difficult month as I have struggled with the memories of a year ago.
So what shall I say of you to others who didn’t know you? How can I capture the essence of you, my love?
Shall I speak of your love, your humour, your kindness, your care, your knowledge, your principles, your intellect, your pride in your family, your selflessness, your sensitivity, your depth, how you filled my world, how you fascinated me, even after 27 years? Shall I tell them how I loved you from those early days, when as a 26 year old woman, I fell for you and how that love only deepened? Shall I speak of the fun we had together, the laughter that filled our lives?
Shall I tell them how brave you were throughout your illness? Shall I speak of the awful things they did to you and how you responded with good humour and interest in the lives of those who cared for you? Shall I tell them how the nurses said we were their best married couple because we still talked to each other with interest and enthusiasm while you were having your chemotherapy?
Shall I tell them what I miss the most? Shall I mention your cuddles. your tenderness, your love? Shall I say I find it so hard to live without that love? Shall I also tell them how I find it so hard to live without our chats? How do I replace the conversations about anything and everything that was going on in our lives and in the world? Who do I turn to now when something has gone wrong and when the day has been hard? Who will talk it through with me and make it feel ok in the end so that we can laugh at how uptight I can get over silly things? Who will tell me I’m so attractive, even when I look really rough? Who will help me to make sense of what is going on in the world? Who will give me a different perspective on all the rubbish in the news?
And so, my darling, what shall I tell them I have learnt from you and what will I try to emulate? There are so many things I have learnt from you but, to summarise, the main leson has long been imprinted on my brain, which is to always support the oppressed, wherever and who ever they may be. What do I want to emulate? To see life as something to contribute to rather than to get things from, in order to move things forward to create a better world.
And so my love, in conclusion, I think I shall tell them that this quote from a Ist world war soldier seems to sum up the essence of you and your life:
” Man’s dearest possession is life, and since it is given to him to live but once, he must therefore so live as to feel no torturing regrets for years without purpose; so live as not to be scared with the shame of a cowardly and trivial past; so live that by dying he can say: all my life and all my strength were given to the finest cause in the world- the liberation of mankind”.
Thank you for all those beautiful years, my darling. You know I will never say goodbye and that you are in my heart for ever.
With all my love,
Pauline
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