My Father, and My Best Friend

My Father passed away at 1303hrs on Oct 22nd. I have not had the courage to post for a while and during his last month in the hospital, I stayed by his side and his condition just went downhill. He was diagnosed in June of 06 followed by partial segmentectomy of liver 4/8, clear margins. At that time was so positive until October when three new “spots” appeared which were treated with RFA, then recurrence in February of this year. He was on three regimens of chemo, 1st FOLFOX, 2nd Gemzar/Erbitux (C225), then Gemzar/Avastin. CA19-9 continued to climb and I believe the cancer was somewhat controlled by the Chemo but never killed. He had a nasty reaction to Avastin, and stopped by the 3rd time which sent him into emergency on Sept 15.

My heart is broken as I sit here and write, and it is truly a horrible disease. Towards the end of his life, he maintained maximum dignity and did the best he could to fight the cancer. He fell into coma about one week before his death, the swollen ankles / bloated stomach were treated and Ascites were drained with “pig-tail.” The morning of his death Doctors were able to drop his Ammonia levels via Diruetics / Syrup (diaherra) and thus he opened his eyes in the morning and we were able to say good bye. He took his last breath in peaceful sleep as his BP / SP02 / HR dropped at 1250.

I still cannot believe that he is gone and can only say that he has gone to a better place with no more suffering from endless injections (my dad hates injections). He went in peace and did not have any morphine or any pain. The Doctors truly did the best they could and I am heartbroken that I could not have done more to control this horrible disease. I feel like there are many things that my father still had to do, like go on more family vacations, spend more time with his granddaughter, play more golf, or even meet his future grandchildren, but all this has come to an end now. He has returned to heaven and I can only say that while sad, he is now in eternal peace. I know that I one day will join him and be re-united with him, but right now just feel so empty. My father was only 61.

I dedicate this message to a man that was not only my father, but a role model and my best friend. I will truly cherish my memories together with my father, and remember his as a perfect role model, hard working, totally honest, and incredibly fair all this coupled with a sense of humour. I am honored to be his son, and I know that he was a true soldier and fighter and even through the difficult times and suffering through his sickess, he maintained maximum dignity. I will truly miss him and can only wish him all the best in heaven, and look forward to the day that I will be re-united with him forever. Dad, go in peace and please watch over us and give us the support like you always have, and God bless. Miss you so much.