Discussion Board Forums Grief Management My Husband and Cholangiocarcinoma – Part 2

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    I just wish I could find words to express my feelings at this very sad time.

    Thinking of you.
    Julia x


    Dear Margaret — the words you’ve posted are beautiful. How blessed you two were to have such an unbreakable bond of love. Ill will keep you in my thoughts.
    Love, Diane


    Dear Margaret,

    There are no words…. sending you and your family my deepest sympathy and love at this heartbreaking time.


    Andrea x


    Margaret and Mary,
    May God fill your hearts with his love and ease your pain. My only wish is that my wife and I can say the same about each other.


    Dear Margaret and Mary, of course Tom & Tom are with Teddy. And Margaret you know he will join Teddy watching the Packers with Vince Lombardi.
    I so know how you are feeling and please trust me it does get easier. There will always be a deep hole but life becomes a new normal and we have to be strong
    and live life to the fullest we can as our husbands would want it that way. It has helped me to write a poem or something each month on the anniversary of Teddy’s passing and next month will be my last, I composed it about a month ago. It helps me to express my feelings. I have a fabulous daughter who calls me daily sometimes twice a day. I have very close wonderful friends and I have this awesome CC site. Still trying to sell my house and go in to an apartment. Great news is we won our case with Hospice but I can’t give any more details until it’s really settled. But now I feel restiution for Teddy. One by one things get done. I am waiting for the moment the Toms let you know they are with you!!! I can’t wait. IF you believe, that seems to be the biggest boost I have gotten to get through this year. He doesn’t come around as much anymore but I know he is here. I am wondering what will happen tomorrow as 3 guests are coming from Milwaukee for their 16th year here for the Holiday, all Grandchildren will be here and Teddy loved a Holiday. Stay strong girls not time to let go until after the Services and even then it may be a bittersweet relief because the loves of our lives are at Peace in an awesome place. All my love!


    I am so sorry for your loss. Believe me I know exactly what you are feeling. I’ve written a letter to be read at my Tom’s funeral on Sat. and it expresses pretty much exactly what you are saying. We have been together side by side for 31 years and I feel like I am half a person. He always said that he was amazed by two things in our marriage. First that I would stick with him at the beginning whren he was dealing with family problems, secondly that we could feel like one person. Both of our hearts are broken right now Margaret but I guess in time we will heal. Everyone seems to survive this,
    it’s just hard to imagine right now. My heart and prayers are with you. I hope our two Tom’s are with Teddy right now having a big party!! Love , Mary


    Dear Margaret,

    I am so very sorry indeed to hear of Tom’s passing, please accept my sincerest condolences. I know at this time there are no words that I can say that would help, but please know that I am thinking of you and your family right now.



    Dear, sweet Margaret,

    My heart broke for you as I read of Tom’s passing. I am so sorry for your loss. You and Tom had such a special love. I hope you take time to grieve and take care of yourself. Much love and God bless you.



    I am so sorry to hear of Tom’s passing.
    May God bless you and your family.


    My Dearest Margaret, there are no words just tears in my heart. I am so happy that you had the Love you and Tom had and we are lucky women. You were an awesome wife and care giver and we do what we have to do to get our loved one through this terrible journey. Yes, you will feel it all so bittersweet. Bitter for what he had to go through and sweet for what you had but will have for eternity, no one, nothing can take those memories from you.

    Those we love must someday pass beyond our present sight


    This is the first chance I’ve finally had to post this on this site. I will continue to grieve for awhile (forever) and I will come back to this site to offer guidance to others.

    Just in the event that anyone would like to send a card:

    Margaret Lepp
    634 E. Frontage Road, Lot 77
    Little Suamico, WI 54141

    I love you all. Go with God and you guys KEEP KICKIN’ THAT cancer for my Tommy so that someday we get a cure for this cancer!


    My beloved husband, the love of my life, Thomas G. Lepp passed away on 11/20/2011 at about 8:48pm. We had such a wonderful bond that most people could see, other’s could not. I could finish his sentences and he could finish mine. Or I would think something and he would say it, and I’d look at him with such an amazed look on my face and so “Get out of my head!” and then we would laugh! And I could do the same thing to him, he would be thinking something and his thoughts just popped out of my mouth!

    Just about 3 weeks ago Tom said “Remember when we first got back together when I said that I could spend the rest of my life with you? Well Babe, it looks like that is going to come true.” (Jimmy, our nephew always commented when Tom called me Babe! He’d say that is the name of a pig you shouldn’t call Marge a pig! Meaning the pig From the movie Babe)

    Although it’s only been a few hours, I already miss him more than I ever thought was possible to miss someone. One of my first responses after he passed was “I’ve been taking care of him since March of 2008 when we first learned of his cancer. I won’t know how to live without taking care of him.”

    When I realized that he was so close to death, I held him in my arms next to my heart as he made the transition from his life on earth to his life everlasting in Heaven. I will never forget the panic I felt, as part of me wanted to do everything I could to keep him here with me, then such a sense of joy when I realized that his pain and suffering was over, that he did not have to have any more tube exchanges, no more chemo, no more blood tests, no more ER rooms, no more hospital stays, no more medications, no more insulin, no more poking an prodding by doctors. He was finally free of all that! And I made certain that the funeral home knew that they were to make sure that they took his girlfriend (the tube going into his liver was to be taken OUT. He did not want to have that tube and bag for eternity! Good bye to the liver drain tube!

    When his daughter Holly brought him home from the Hospital on Thursday, I’d had already received a call from his primary doctor and his were “Margaret, I am so sorry. I did not tell Tom this but I don’t like his color and I don’t think he has much time left and I think it’s time for Pallative or Hospice”

    Tom and I would tell each other, every night before we went to sleep that we loved each other. We would hold one another and he always wanted me to sleep close to him and he always went to sleep with one part of his body touching me, be it his hand or a leg or one of his feet.

    The very last thing he said to me earlier today was “I love you” as his blue eyes looked directly into mine. That was shortly before he went into a coma like state. He never spoke after that, and was not in any pain.

    It was hard knowing that after his 3 year 8 month battle with cancer that we had lost the fight. He tried so hard, he did not want to leave me, that was the hardest thing that he had to deal with. He was always so concerned that I would be alone.

    I told him over and over again that it wasn’t about me, it was about him and that it was OK to let go that I knew he was tired, and that I knew it wasn’t him giving up, it was the cancer taking over. That it was his body could no longer battle the cancer with him. I told him it was OK to let go and go to his heavenly slumber.

    When his doctor started him back on Chemo about 5 weeks ago – I was very surprised when he told me that he was going to do the chemo! We had discussed it many times and he said he was done, that he was tired and that he couldn’t do it any more. I supported him 100% and we had even discussed that if another tumor were found or if the cancer had spread that he was done. I tried to talk him out of doing the chemo and he was adament that he was going to give it one more try.

    But in the end, although we lost the fight with cancer, we never lost sight of each other and the very deep love that we shared.

    Tom touched many people during his 64 years on this earth. He was a good father, a great uncle, an awesome grandfather, a loving brother, a great friend and a very loving husband. I only wish that we’d had more time together, to build more memories!

    Thomas, I know that I have told you many times during our years together that I love you to the end of the earth and back again, so keep me close to your heart as you make your way to those pearly gates. You know that someday we’ll be together again. It may take me a while to get there, and when God is ready for me to be with you again I know that you’ll be up in heaven standing just inside those pearly gates waiting for me with open arms.

    You loving wife, Margaret

    Thomas Lepp Sr. Obituary: View Thomas Lepp’s Obituary by Green Bay Press-Gazette


    Dearest Margaret,

    I’m so sorry this time has come but you and Tom have battled together so courageously against this monster. I pray his passing will be painfree and hope he will slip gently into heaven and into the arms of all who have gone before.

    You are in our thoughts and prayers. Please take good care of yourself.

    Hugs and tons of prayers.



    Dear Margaret,

    I am so sorry to hear this. I know what you mean when you say that writing helps and I did the same with my dad when he was at this point, and yes, we so understand. You have done everything possible that you could for Tom and I know you will continue to do everything you can to keep him comfortable. We are here for you always and I will keep you and Tom in my close thoughts.




    Kathy, yes, please ask for Oxygen. It not only helps with the breathing but it helps with comfort as well. I don’t know how often Hospice is coming but they will step it up a bit if you feel that is needed. Teddy started out with every week then it went to twice a week then 3X. Best of luck as always.

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