My mom
Discussion Board › Forums › Grief Management › My mom
- This topic has 30 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 4 months ago by marions.
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May 22, 2013 at 4:56 pm #72039lainySpectator
Jeeyoung, you stick around with us as long as you like, you are welcome. You may be helping someone else with an idea or decision, I have found it the best way to Pay it Forward! You are NOT a lurker you are Family. At 516PM I will turn to the Papago MTNS and see if I can see anything. That will become a beautiful Memory! Of course your Mother will see and know and may even grab one for herself. It is only a short time that Mom has gone to the other room, you must give yourself time. We WILL get together when I get back. Perhaps Tempe Marketplace for lunch? Its a good meeting point. Take care of yourself now, we will talk soon.
May 22, 2013 at 4:44 pm #72038jeeyoungMemberThank you Lainy, thebompie4, Randi, kaklon, Gavin, Darla, Clare, Mary, Willow and all other members who have read my posts.. and offered support, comfort, encouragement and care. I really appreciate it.
I find myself keep lurking aroung this site.. hoping to find some comfort in others journey and connecting with others in the similar experience.. it was my daily ritual being on this site for last few months.. I hope you don’t mind that I do and I will for some time..
Today marks one week of my mom’s departure… my husband, kids and I will be hiking up to the Papago Peaks to release 7 white balloons (representing 7 decades of my mom’s life here ) to remember her and to say our goodbyes at 5:16pm. My family members afar will be also joining us at the same time wherever they are (New York, Ohio and Korea) when the balloons are released. Perhaps one of these balloons will float towards where she is now, to let her know how much all of us love and miss her.
Jeeyoung
May 21, 2013 at 2:43 pm #72037willowSpectatorJeeyyoung,
As one who was caretaker and lost my Dad almos a month ago, I can tell you that the adrenaline and purpose wear off. Emotions all over the map…lately I feel impatient with others and often feel desperate to do things that are an ‘escape’ or a distraction. With responsibilities, its not easy but try to do things that lift your spirits…like get outside and accept offers from friends to get together. as you may find, I’m finding that my grief is coming out in the strangest ways! The trauma of being with someone through the end stages of an illness is profound. I try to think of it as part of life and am relieved knowing Dad isn’t suffering now. Now my grief and anger turn toward my sisters fight against stage 4 CC . Feel I’m holding breath waiting for what might be instead of enjoying each day she’s doing well! Her cancer at age 50 is much harder to accept than dads alzheimers (he was almost 90), though the hands on caring for him for past 3 years was so difficult. its strange to suddenly not have that role.
Take extra special care of yourself, Jeeyoung, and know how much your Mom loves you.
WillowMay 21, 2013 at 1:15 pm #72036gavinModeratorDear Jeeyoung,
Thank you for what you say. And I know how you feel right now as I felt like that after I lost my dad as well. It is a tough time as you know, very tough in fact but it does get better over time. You did everything that you possibly could for your mum and like Lainy says, she will be very proud of you. And yes, taking things one day at a time sounds like the right thing to me. We are all here for you.
Hugs,
Gavin
May 20, 2013 at 5:51 pm #72035lainySpectatorDear Jeeyoung, you are going to be fine, you know, 5 days is not enough time at all after a lifetime with a Parent. It will get better because your Mom would want it too. I have no doubt you will not only see Mom in dreams you will begin to feel her all around you. BE OPEN IN YOUR THINKING AND BE ALERT, SHE IS THERE. I know she is so very proud of you, give yourself time everything will happen in due course!
Stay in touch and wishing you the very best.May 20, 2013 at 5:42 pm #72034jeeyoungMemberI have to say that Cholangiocarcinoma.org has been my source of comfort, support and information throughout my experience with this horrible disease… I thank all members of the board.
It has been almost 5 days without her… I’m taking day by day as it passes. I hope to see my mom in my dreams……….
Thank you and wishing you the best to everyone,
Jeeyoung
May 18, 2013 at 2:31 am #72025willowSpectatorJeeyoung,
I’m so sorry. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Mother.
Sincerely, WillowMay 17, 2013 at 10:52 pm #72027mcwgoatSpectatorDear Jeeyoung,
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your mom. I know that this is a very difficult time for you. I hope in time you can remember the good times with her and feel her presence around you.
Peace & Hugs,
MaryMay 17, 2013 at 8:07 pm #72026claremSpectatorDear Jeeyoung,
I am so sorry to read that your mum has died. There is nothing I can say that will make this better but please take care of yourself and the rest of your family.
May 17, 2013 at 7:38 pm #72028darlaSpectatorDear Jeeyoung,
I am so sorry to hear of your mom’s passing. You have my deepest sympathy and understanding. Yes, take some comfort in knowing that she is no longer in pain or suffering and is a peace. My thoughts & prayers are with you and your family at this sad and trying time. Know that we are here for you and truely do care.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaMay 17, 2013 at 5:54 pm #72029gavinModeratorDear Jeeyoung,
I am so very sorry indeed to hear of the passing of your dear mum. Please accept my sincerest condolences. I know that there are no words right now to say that would help ease your pain. We are all here for you and my thoughts are with you and your family right now.
Gavin
May 17, 2013 at 3:57 am #72032kaklonMemberAs a mother, I am saddened for you, knowing that at some point I will be gone also, leaving behind my own daughter and her new son to grieve as you do now. In the midst of your pain remember her love for you and be grateful for having had her as your mother for all these years.
In Strength & Peace
kaklonMay 17, 2013 at 3:01 am #72031RandiSpectatorJeeyoung,
I am so very sorry to hear about your dear Mom. I wish I had something to say to take away the pain and emptiness you must be feeling right now. Please accept my sincerest condolences. I hope that your wonderful memories will soon replace the sadness you are feeling now.
Hugs,
-Randi-May 17, 2013 at 1:02 am #72030thebompie4Memberso sorry
May 17, 2013 at 12:56 am #72033lainySpectatorDearest Jeeyoung,I am so very sorry to read about your Mom. I know that you know she is in a Healthy and Happy place but will always be watching over her Jeeyoung. I always say Mothers do not leave their children and she will be your angel for eternity. Please accept my heartfelt sympathies.
Letter from Heaven by Ruth Ann Mahaffey
To my dearest family some things I’d like to say
But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay,
I’m writing this from Heaven. Here I shall dwell with God above
Here, there’s no more tears of sadness. Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy because I’m out of sight
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me and He said “I welcome you,
It’s good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone,
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on.
God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do
And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you
And when you lie in bed at night, the days chores put to flight
God and I are closest to you . . in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears
But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
One thing is for certain though my life on earth is o’er
I’m closer to you now than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb
Together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
When you’re walking down the street and you’ve got me on your mind
I’m walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind
And when it’s time for you to go . . from that body to be free
Remember you’re not going . . you’re just coming here to me. -
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