My mum just died from Cholangiocarcinoma.
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Dear Josias,
I am so very sorry to hear that your mum had passed. I can’t begin to imagine the hurt and sadness that you feel just now. I have an 18 year old nephew who lost his mum (my sister) to CC 4 weeks ago and I just want to put my arms around you and give you the biggest hug.
There are so many people here that will listen and support you so please keep in touch.
Dear Josias,
I am so very sorry indeed to hear about the passing of your dear mum. I wish that there was something that I could say that would help ease your pain. I can relate a bit to the pain that you feel right now as I too lost my dad to this cancer. Although I am a bit older than you and I can only imagine what you are feeling at your young age.
There is not much that I can add to what the others have said about seeking help from trained counselors and I feel that this would be of great help to you. And I know as well that our Dr Giles will be of great benefit to you as well and has helped many people with their feelings and emotions.
Please know as well that we are all here for you and always will be. My condolences to you and my thoughts are with you and your family right now.
Gavin
Dear Josias,
I cannot say anything better than Marion said so well. I am the person in my family that has CC and I have two daughters who I love more than life itself. The thought that made me the saddest after being diagnosed with this horrible disease was not that I could die, but how would my daughters feel facing life without their mother. That made me incredible sad.
But that being said, I would want them to go on with their lives, remember me and the good times we had, remember how much I loved them and how much they meant to me and know that I was looking down on them and smiling.
Your special bond with your mother does not go away because she is no longer here. You say you have a strong faith and I hope that it will carry you forward and that you will take comfort in it during this difficult time.
I hope that soon all of your happy memories replace the incredible sadness you are feeling now.
Please seek out help from a counselor if you feel overwhelmed. Talking to someone can really help.
Hugs,
-Randi-I would like to send you a huge hug and reassure you that you will find the strength to live fully, knowing your mom wants you to be happy. I wish there were a way around the pain and loss you are feeling now. They all say that it fades with time though your love never will. Just know you are not alone.
WillowExoaria;
I am so sorry that your Mom has passed. You are so young to have to deal with this. My Mom passed 1 year ago, but I had her for many years. Not that it makes it better, I wanted her longer, but it was not meant to be. The death of my Mom really hit me hard. I hope your faith, your family and this board will help. It won’t be easy, but we are here. Continue to post. We cry together and pray together.
Dear Josias….My heart goes out to you. My youngest son was your age when he lost his Dad to this cancer and like you, his bond with his parent was the most precious relationship imaginable.
Although, we are a strong family having overcome many obstacles this one, dear Josias, was one of the most difficult times for my son.
Reflecting on the years passed (6) I would like to share with you that the passage of time indeed will allow you to accept the “unacceptable” in a way that at present may appear unimaginable to you.It was a rocky road for him, dear Josias, and at times he simply could not accept the death of his dear Dad. It appeared that was taken one step forward only to fall back right thereafter. But, as time went on, his forward steps became leaps and his falling backward diminished however; it was one day at a time.
Hospice offers a great program for adolescents struggling with the loss of a loved one, which he attended at times. Additionally he worked with a counselor for several years.
My grief became bearable only by including my husband in my daily life and to this date I think of him and refer to him especially when speaking with my family and others.
He, on the other hand, was not able to do that. He realized that it was best for him not to think about it, as it simply was to painful to go there. He lived by his own rule:
IF IT HURTS TOO MUCH – DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.As time went on his hurt of the loss was replaced with the memories shared and the gratitude he felt for having a parent that although irreplaceable indeed will forever shadow his life.
Each and everyone have his/her own way of coping with disastrous happenings and you, dear Josias, will find your way too. No one can tell you how to grieve and how long it may take, but please know that you too will overcome.Reach out to those most helpful such as a support group, individual counselor, school counselor (if applicable) clergy, or organizations offering grief counseling.
All of us will be here for you, as is our Dr. Giles. You can reach him via this link:
http://www.cholangiocarcinoma.org/ask.htmKnow that what you are experiencing is a true reflection of a young man having lost the most precious being in his life and that it moves slowly – one day at a time.
Please know that we also are here for you – always.
Hugs and love,
MarionDear Exoaria,
I too am so sorry you have lost your mom to this disease. No, it’s not easy and no words can make it better. Try to take a little comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering or in pain. She is now in a better place. Keep her with you forever in your thoughts and memories of all the good times.
Take care and know we are all here for you. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Exoaria,
I remember your post a few weeks ago regarding your mom… I am truly sorry about your mom’s passing. I’m sure words can’t even descibe what you are going through right now.. I hope that you have loving family and friends you can turn to and find some kind of comfort by reaching out. Your special bond and memories of your mom will stay in a special place in your heart…
My mom also has CC stage 4 and I have thought of this moment may come at some point over and over in my head… I feel your broken heart…Please take care…
lots of love and hugs reaching out to you,
Jeeyoung
Dear Exoaria,
I am so sorry to hear of your Mum’s passing. I have a son and we have a special bond, I’m sure the same you had with your Mum. She will be with you forever, not in the physical sense, but in your heart. I know it is probably almost unbearable to deal with, but hopefully things will get easier as time passes. Please talk out your feelings with special friends or see a counselor that will listen to you. It will help you to know that what you are feeling is normal. My heart goes out to you and I am sending you big, big hugs. Please take care of yourself and continue to do things that would make your Mum proud. God bless.
Love,
-Pamthere are no good words honestly.
it totally stinks!
I am so sorry for your loss….
my husband has this (stage 4) and we have 4 kids who at some point
will be grieving with you….THIS is the thing that perhaps breaks my heart more than anything else.
a parent leaving a child in death.
just know people are thinking about you.
and again i am truly truly sorry for your loss.
Dorien
Dear Exoaria, I am extremely sorry about the loss of your Mum. You should not have to lose a parent at 18. It sounds like you had a very special bond. For now about the only thing you can do is to accept the help of clergy or a counselor. I swear to you that in time, the grief will slowly go away and the good memories will come to the front. I always say that Mother’s never really leave their children, she will always be watching over you and in turn down the road she will want to see you happy.
I’m at your side each night and day,
In your heart is where I’ll stay.
You can feel, see or hear, I am not gone, I’m always near.
I’m the colorful leaves when fall comes round,
The pure white snow that blankets ground.
I’m the first bright blossom you’ll see in Spring.
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I’m the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
And you’ll see that the face in the moon is mine.
I’ll whisper your name through the leaves on the trees,
And you’ll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I’m the salty tears that flow when you weep,
And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I’m the smile you see on a baby’s face.
Just look for me, I’m every place!Exoaria,
I can ony image what you are going though now.
Take the time to grieve and I hope that you have family and friends around you that can provide the support and warmth you need at this time.
Your bond with your mum sounded very special and I am sure she will always keep a watch on you.
I will pray for you and your family
Teresa
Exoaria,
There are no words at this time to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. What I can say is as time goes on the good memories will outweigh the sad ones and you will find yourself smiling about the times you shared with your Mum.
For now, take time to grieve and be kind to yourself. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, please find a professional or religious person who can help you through this difficult time.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Peace & Love,
MaryDear Exoaria,
I am so sorry about your loss. I wish I could offer you some comfort as my heart truly breaks for you.
Please continue to believe in your faith and believe that your mother has found peace and is still with you wherever you may be.
Be strong and take care
IliasIt has been two weeks since she died. I don’t want to write up a big essay about it I just want to hear some comfort and talk to people about this cancer, since you guys have probably been through the same thing.
I’m an 18 year old boy that needs his mum. She was with me a month ago. I loved her so much, we were best friends, and she was helping me through all of my social and emotional problems. My only refuge that I held dear to me.Two weeks later, she’s dead. I’ve gone two weeks without her.
She just gets diagnosed and then within a couple weeks she’s gone.I miss her so much, what do I do.
Also, Christian talk here is welcome. I believe in Jesus.
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