My ramblings…
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Dear Sarah, welcome to the rant and rave network! Teddy had Home Hospice start the end of August. One of the Nurses stated he had a month. Well, he showed them by 2 months! How does anyone know? Only one someone knows and he is not communicating it to us. After you feel you have ranted enough you have the chance to turn this into your Precious Moments, that’s what I did. We pretended we were like newlyweds and no it is not denial! It is doing what ever it takes to get through this even if it means laughing at things. I think we did pretty good. Do you know why the Nurse said a week? I am not so sure he would go out for a car ride with a week to go. Come here to let off stem anytime you want.
Sarah: Feel free to rant and rave all you want! There are so many times with my husband that I need to get my thoughts out or else I may strangle him! (JK of course).
You are quite normal in your response to being told that your husband has only a week before passing. Who would not become upset? I was upset then the oncologist told my husband he had 6 months at the most, 15 months ago. As a caregiver, we put all of our energy into taking care of the person who is sick, and we forget about ourselves! I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life ‘after Tom’….for three years now it has been all about him. I know I’m going to be lost for awhile because right now I live, eat, sleep and breathe Tom. When his pills are due, when his tube needs flushing, what to make him to eat, getting him to/from doctor appointments, is he bathed, does he need anything, is he still breathing, etc. You know the routine….and to suddenly face all that ‘caregiving’ being gone, yes it is traumatic! So, dear, you just take all the time you need to rant and rave and we will stand by your side!
I am so sorry to hear about your husband Ben. Please keep us posted on this site. I will add Ben to my prayer list and he will be receiving some prayers from Wisconsin.
Go with God.
MargaretSarah – Ranting and raving is quite permissible here….that’s why we can all turn to this website when we need ANYTHING!!! There are so many emotions involved with being a caregiver and you are entitled to feel any way you want to feel at this moment. Hugs – Nancy
Forgive me ahead of time for my following ramblings and rants. Let me first say that I have been on medication for anxiety attacks for 15+ years. I used to have pretty bad attacks. Over the years Ben, my husband has been my rock and steadying force. Anyway – a week ago we signed up for hospice, it seemed to be the only avenue left to us. Ben’s condition was not improving and seemed to be getting worse. I thought I had a handle on it. On Friday (2/11) the hospice nurse came out (she had been out before when we had home health). At the end of her visit she said to me in private “he has about 1 week left”. Well let me tell you my anxiety kicked in to high gear. I thought to myself “this can’t be happening”.Yesterday I began to get angry at being given a time frame and my emotions have been going from sobbing uncontrollably to getting pissed off and wanting to fight this disease even harder than before. Am I in denial? My mother-in-law said to me once “as long as there is life, there is hope” I am watching so closely everyday – getting excited when he eats, yesterday him came out with me to run errands. He stayed in the car but it was the first time he has been out of the house in a week. I’m trying to hold on to every moment we have together. Thanks everyone for being out there for me.
Sarah
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