February 12, 2016 at 7:00 pm #91601gavinModerator
I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your dear daughter. Please accept my sincere condolences. I so wish that there was something that I could say right now that would help ease the pain that you must feel. Please know that my thoughts are with you right now and that we are all here for you as well.
GavinFebruary 12, 2016 at 1:26 am #91600iowagirlMember
I sounds like during your daughter’s illness, you did what you had to do to get through everything while being your daughter’s caregiver, but also being “mom”. The shock that you felt at her diagnosis is something that all of have felt and we “get it” here. The crying, sleeplessness, etc, is also something that many here have gone through upon the passing of their loved ones and it can go one for a short time or a long time. There is no time limit on grieving. Sometimes your friends or other family will want you to “move on”, and you just can’t do that yet. At that point, I would suggest seeing if there is a grief support group in your area where others are dealing with similar feelings. I’m so glad to hear that you have enlisted the aide of a counsellor and anti-depressant/anxiety drugs to help you through the roughest of times. What I can tell you, having lost my father from cancer and a baby of my own, you will find your way through the grief, But, you also need to understand that the grief never goes away. With the passage of time, it isn’t in the forefront of every day as it is now though and life will get better. Right now, I’m sure you have frequent flashbacks to times during your daughter’s illness , your tears flow freely, and it seems the pain will never lessen. I’m here to tell you that it will be better, but right now, get through one day at a time and anytime you feel like posting here, know that we’ll understand.
A CC patient/survivor
Julie T.February 12, 2016 at 1:13 am #91599liseParticipant
Thank you so much for your compassion. I also believe that losing a child is the absolute worst, and, Karen was my only child. Now I have no other family. No sisters, brothers, etc. It’s down to just me now. I think that’s one reason I’m having such a difficult time.February 12, 2016 at 12:38 am #91598middlesister1Moderator
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. So many here are patients , siblings or spouses. My heart especially breaks whenever I hear of someone losing a child.
I hope that in time some of the grief can be lessened a bit with happy memories. Until then, please know that my thoughts, prayers, and heartfelt condolences are with you.
we are here for you.
CatherineFebruary 11, 2016 at 7:37 pm #12182liseParticipant
My sweet beautiful daughter passed away November 16, 2015. She was 49 years old. We were VERY close. She had some medical problems through her life but all were managed. I NEVER dreamed that we would be given this diagnosis. First of all I had never heard of it and I am a Registered Nurse with a Bachelor’s Degree. I was overwhelmed to say the least.
She was given the diagnosis May 2015 and it was Stage IV with metastasis to the bones. The chemo involved was very caustic and was not recommended for her. She was a small girl weighing 90 # and only 4’9″.
We were told by our second oncologist that he did not recommend any chemotherapy, only palliative care. He estimated that she would live 3-4 months. She live 6 months. I took care of her day and night. Watching her suffer was the absolute worst thing I’ve ever been through.
Now, the terrible grief. It’s been almost 3 months and its been hell. Crying spells daily, panic attacks, sleepless nights. I am getting counseling now and am also on antidepressant and antianxiety meds. I Just have to figure out how to live without her and haven’t figured that out yet.
I also posted this in the Grief Forum. I forgot I should introduce myself as this is my first post.
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