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Hi Kerri,
Welcome to the site. Sorry that you had to find us all and I am sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my dad to this cancer and so know how you are feeling. I too am glad that you have found us and joined in with us all here as you are so in the right place for support and help and you will certainly get tons of each from all of us here. Personally I found it most helpful to me indeed during and after my dads fight with CC to be around people who knew how I was feeling and what I was going through, and we so know what you have gone through and exactly how you are feeling.
So please, keep coming back here as much as you want to and post away as much as you want to as well. We are here for you and we care.
Hugs to you as well,
Gavin
Thank you, everyone. It is comforting to know that you all have been through the same thing I am but it is also heart breaking. I cherish every moment I had with my mom and still pick up the phone to tell her things or ask her advice. Dee, I hope this forum helps gives you some peace. I still have days where I cry a lot but try to lot it consume me. It’s just so hard when you lose the one person who has always been there for you regardless of the mistakes you have made.
You have all made me feel better and I feel for all of you. I hope research will find a cure or treatment so other families do not have go through this nightmare. It takes loved ones so fast, that no one can process it. I just keep thinking what happened? How could things spiral out of control.
I had to smile when Darla said “supposedly everything happens for a reason”. My mom use to tell me that all the time and said God does not give us things we cannot handle. Well, I hope one day I will be able to understand and handle this.
Hugs to you all!
Kerri
Hi Kerri,
I am so sorry that you have lost your mum to this disease. My sister was 41 when she died in March just 5 months after being diagnosed. I’ve been nursing for 23 years and like you said, I have never seen a disease this aggressive.
I am glad you have found the forum – you will get so much support here if you want it.
Thank you Dee and I am sending those thoughts right back at you. My heart also goes out to you and all others who have or are now going through the same. Hoping you too can find some comfort as you deserve it, too.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Darla and Kerri,
Reading your response above Darla, it felt like I was speaking out loud. I lost my Mom in April, 2013. She was diagnosed in February, 2013 as well. All my life She has been my best friend and the only one I could ever talk to. I don’t have anyone to talk to and try to bury myself with work to get through “one day at a time”. When you said “Supposedly everything happens for a reason, but what reason can there be for this?”. I have been thinking about this since the day we entered the hospital. When you said “I know that even if he had survived any length of time, he would not have had the quality of life he deserved so for that I am grateful.” this is what i think that helps me sleep at night sometimes. The grief and pain doesn’t good away, but I still talk to my Mamma everyday and imagine She is talking back and smiling down on me.
My heart goes out to both of you and hope that you find the comfort you truly deserve.
Take care,
DeeKerri,
Thank you for your kind words. Supposedly everything happens for a reason, but what reason can there be for this? I still have days I think back to what happened and even tho’ I lived it, it is hard to wrap my mind around how quickly he went from a very active, seemingly healthy man to dying so ravaged by this disease. I had never even heard of Cholangiocarcinoma before all of this. It is a very aggressive form of cancer. I know that even if he had survived any length of time, he would not have had the quality of life he deserved so for that I am grateful. Their passing quickly is a blessing, but is so much harder on those of us left behind.I do understand your pain and how you are feeling. Cherish the memories of those 8 months that you shared. It will now mean more to you than you could ever have imagined. Jim and I were together almost 45 years. Married for 41 and for most of those years were together pretty much 24/7. I take comfort in knowing that I had more that most people ever are lucky enough to experience, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting more.
I too was pretty much non functional in the beginning, but I realized that I just had to push through it and try to go on. In time you will find that although it never totally goes away, you will have more good days than bad and will be able to think more about all the good times than those last 2 months. It does get better with time.
The poem Lainy posted above is one that I pretty much keep in my head for times when I am feeling down. In the beginning I said it to myself daily.
Just take things one day at a time. That’s all you can do.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Kerri I am so sorry to hear about your Mother and her sad Journey. Please accept my sympathies.
• I wish heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again.
• I thought of you today, but that is nothing new.
• I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.
• I think of you in silence, I often speak your name.
• All I have are memories and pictures in a frame.
• Your memory is a keepsake, from which I’ll never part.
• God has you in his arms…I have you in my heartThank you, Darla. I am so sorry about your husband. My mom was truly my best friend and stood by me no matter what. Her and my step dad had moved to Wisconsin and after he passed away my mom moved back to be closer to me and my son. She hadn’t been here 8 months when she was diagnosed. Once she was diagnosed she only came home one time. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I have worked in healthcare for over 12 years and had never seen anything so aggressive. It has made me numb and some days it is still unbearable.
I cannot imagine the pain of losing your husband and am glad that you have been able to find support through here.
Love and hugs,
Kerri
Hi Kerri,
You and your family have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your mom. I truly know what you are going through. My husband passed away from this disease 5 years ago in less than 2 months also. Until that time he appeared to be healthy and active. Like you, I found this site within days of his passing and have been hang out here ever since. I have gotten so much comfort and support from the people here. They all have dealt with this disease in one way or another and truly care and understand. I have forged some very close relationships through all the support I have gotten and being able to give my support and understanding to others helps me too. So welcome to our unique group. I hope you will stick around as you will find so much care and understanding and it will help you to heal. There is nothing that can take away the pain and loss you are feeling now, but everyone here is willing to help in any way that we can.
Take care Kerri and know that we are here if you need us.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this sad & trying time.
Love & Hugs,
Darla
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