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Whoa Nelly! Sounds like y’all have lost hope. No need for that. My Mom is now 88. About 2 years ago, she also was diagnosed with cc. She chose not to pursue chemo, radiation, OR surgery, and her oncologist didn’t think she’d last a year. They didn’t know my Mom or the power of her prayers. She’s still with us, though declining again. She has a consultation with a Dr. set for Monday morning because they now think surgery might be wise. Her tumor near the pancreas is 3.1 centimeters in diameter and she has spots in her lungs that were there two years ago but have gotten a little bigger, ranging from small marble to large marble in size.
Certainly don’t plan major events with her when you visit, and be grateful for each minute you can share! Share as many memories from the past as you can, don’t be afraid to take notes so you can hang onto the memories and share them with the family, and even just spending quiet time together can create more memories to hold onto. The time will be especially blessed if you can pray together or share some music, too.
Touch has been extremely important in our hospital ministry, so if you can find a way to sit and hold her hand or stroke her arm when she is resting, you may both find comfort in that as well.
Wish I could say that you would constantly be in my thoughts and prayers, but that is not realistic as I will also have a chance to spend some time with my Mom and with my young grandson, making our own new memories. You are in my prayers!
Peace and God bless.Vicki Jo;
You’ve got it. Sending lots of prayers your way for both you and your dear Grandmother. I am praying for both strength and peace for you all. Remember that the Drs don’t know everything. They can give us statistics and their predictions, but I believe only God knows what will happen to us on this journey and when our earthly journey will end.
God Bless,
JamieThere are just no words right now. Thank you. Today is going to be a rough day for grandma. I think she will find out how bad it is. I think before she may have knew deep inside, but has not heard the words and she had hope that they could do something. She had surgery to put a draining tube in last night, so she has been kina out of it, but today she will talk w/ the Dr. Pray for strength!
Thank you my new friends!
Vicki JoHi Vicki Jo,
I just lost my Mom to CC April 3, 2009. I diagnosed her in May 2008.
I know the fears you have concerning the end stage of this disease. You should definitely call Hospice. They were invaluable in providing equipment, drugs, a nurse, social worker and even someone to help bath my mother. All of this at no charge. Because of their help my Mom’s dying was mostly peaceful. We had two bad nights near the end when she was having trouble breathing and both times a nurse was at the house with 15 minutes. (My parents live in Greensboro, NC). Both times it was in the wee hours of the morning 2:00 and 3:00 am. They provided drugs (morphine, haldol and atropine) all which made her painfree and peaceful. When she died, she simply breathed one last time and then was gone. My Dad, my sister and myself were with her.
You can use the search box on the CC site to query my user name – Cherbourg and read my posts.
You’ll get a good idea of how my mom’s journey with this monster of a disease progressed. We could not have had a better experience with Hospice. I can’t say enough about how wonderful it was. They were able to show us how to give the drugs when in the two days before her death she couldn’t swallow.
My mom was still working full time at 76 when she was diagnosed. They found her tumors when she had a CT scan after a bout of pleursy. She was Stage IV with metastates to the lungs. Both of my grandmothers did not die until their mid 90’s so this was devastating since I thought I’d have my mom at least another 20 years. Mom fought hard, did chemo and lived long enough to dance at her only granddaughters wedding which we moved up a year, since she wanted her grandmother at her wedding. (December 20th). She also saw the birth of her second great grandchild.
I know the pain you are feeling. Savor each moment you have. Celebrate the wonderful life you’ve had with your grandmother. You will find a strength you never knew you were capable of having.
I will keep you and my family in my thoughts and prayers.
Much love and many hugs..
PamVicki Jo. I just want to say you are and will be strong. Remember this has all just happened but in a few days this strength will appear that makes you want to fight. I do my crying in private as I never want my husband to feel he failed me and I know he would as he has said as much. It is just all an incredible nightmare but you will be strong for your Grandma as that is the one gift wrapped in your love, that you can give to her.
Vicky Jo,
I agree with everything that Lainy & Marion have said. The most important thing right now is to be there for your Grandma and to make sure that she is comfortable. Come here whenever you need to for strength, support, help or even just to vent your feelings. You have found the best place to be when dealing with this horrible disease. You, your Grandma and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
Hello Vicky…..So sorry to hear about your Grandma. being diagnosed with this cancer. As Lainy has mentioned, Hospice is a resource to consider when the situation warrants it. Has anyone explaind to you how far advanced your Gradma is? Does she need additional help with routine things? Or, is she bedridden? Not everyone suffers from severe pain with this cancer and possibly, your Grandma might not either. If she does, pain medication should give her relief. In some ways you are fortunate to have this advanced notice because, it will allow you to share some precious time with each other to love, hug, and share memories. Also, please, remember to reach out to this great group of people who will be there for you whenever you need an ear to listen to your concerns.
I am sending all my best wishes to you,
MarionI am scared. I feelike i need to be strong for my mom and my Grandma, but I am NOT feeling strong right now. Thank god, for my Aunt and Uncle & family, I am so needing them right now. I just want to get to a strong place before I got there the 29th.
Hi Vicki Jo and welcome to our distinguished club. We never want to loose anyone to this horrible disease nut in my humble opinion your family has made the right decision. I would never make any loved one at the age of 87 go through this awful journey. The best suggestion I can give you is to contact Hospice and they will tell you everything you need to know. Like how to make her comfortable and what to expect. Hospice is the best there is in situaions like these. Yes, use these 2 weeks to make lasting and loving memories. One idea would be to go through your Grandmas” pictures and make a special album with her help, if she can. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
My 89 year old Grandmother has been dianosed w/ this. They are not going to do any treatment. I am going to be w/ her the 29th for two weeks. I am wondering if anyone can tell me what to expect, for my visit and as she dies. Will she be in pain? How can I help her, and me for that matter. I do not want to ruin this 2 weeks, by crying 24/7 because she is dieing, but she is dieing and I want to take full advantage of this gift of 2 weeks of alone with w/ my beloved Grandma. I love her so much, it really hurts right now.
my e-mail osbornevjo@aol.comWelcome Diane,
You will find a wealth of information and the most caring, compassionate people on the planet here.
No question is ever considered “dumb’ and you can also use the search function at the top of the page to query anything that crosses your mind.
We are all here for you as you start on the journey. Come often and keep us informed of how you are doing.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
Hugs,
PamDiane;
Welcome to our group. I think you’ll find a wonderful group of people with lots of support and information to help you on your journey. I had a resection after 7 months of chemo and that was after I was told originally I was inoperable. Keep the faith that the surgery will happen. My thoughts and prayers for good scans are coming your way. God Bless,
JamieDiane,
I too would like to welcome you to our “club”. I am glad you found us & sorry that you have a need to be here. As Lainy already said, you appear to be on top of things & having found this site, you will get all the help, support & comfort you could ask for and then some. We are all in this together and are here for each other. Come back often & let us know how you are doing.
Darla
Welcome, Diane to the best little club in the world that no one wishes to have to join. We are glad you found us. Sounds like you are right on top of things and MD Anderson is one of the BEST. Feel free to come here to ask, vent or advise. We are all in this together and you will find the most loving, caring and courageous people in the world right here. Never in our lives did we wish for surgeries more than on this board. Please keep us posted and glad to meet you.
After a visit to my primary care physician on 4/17/09 with complaints of upper right abdominal pain and back pain she ordered some blood work and a sonogram of my liver. The sonogram showed several masses in my liver. She set up an appointment for me the next day with an oncologist and to have a CT scan of my liver. After his evaluation he also included a liver biopsy which confirmed that I had liver cancer. After a visit to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX, I was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma. I am currently receiving 4 rounds of chemo and will travel back to MD Anderson at the end of June to see if the chemo has shrunk the tumors. If so, I may be able to have surgery to remove the right lobe of my liver. It is our hope and prayer that surgery will happen. I am excited to have found this site and look forward to reading everyone’s updates and messages.
Diane
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