New on the forum, saying hi to all.
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Dear Su – I’ve only just read your post & I wanted to welcome you, too. This is such a wonderfully caring site & I bless the day I found it – please visit often & tell us how you are.
My very best to you
JuliaHello Jelly/Su
Firstly a huge welcome to the board. Hopefully you will find support, new friends, understanding and answers to any questions or worries you may have.
I know just exactly how you feel, my Dad was diagnosed, had two lots of surgery and died within 7 weeks.This was at the end of June. He too had been perfectly health, strong and capable right up until the end. He even drove 100 miles up to hospital for his liver resection, 9 days later he was gone.
Like you said at least our parents didn’t suffer or deteriorate, or experience the problems associated with this awful cancer. For your Mum to be working right until she was diagnosed is fantastic. She was obviously doing the job she loved, helping others.
It is early days in your grief, do you have other family members who can share your memories and talk about your Mum? I know you say you have no siblings. It really does help to talk and to keep your Mum’s memory alive in your heart.
Wishing you peace as you walk this journey,
Hugs, Katie
Dear Su, I am so very sorry about your mother. You know, I am a firm believer that mothers never leave their children and I am positive that she is watching over you and thinking, “Wow, I did such a good job!” Please accept our prayers and thoughts and this little poem:
A Letter From Heaven
To my dearest family, some things I’d like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I’m writing this from Heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there’s no more tears of sadness;
here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I’m out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me
and said, “I welcome you.
It’s good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
they’ll be here later on.
God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night,
the day’s chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you…
in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years.
Because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry:
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.
One thing is for certain, through my life on earth is over.
I’m closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
Together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
And now I am contented….
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
When you’re walking down the street
and you’ve got me on your mind;
I’m walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.
And when it’s time for you to go….
from that body to be free.
Remember you’re not going…
your coming home to me.
*******************************Hi Jelly,
Welcome. I am glad you found this site but sorry for what has brought you here. There isn’t much that is typical about this horrible type of cancer and it affects everyone differently. Other than that your Mom was 20 years younger than my husband and had an even shorter amount of time with it, the rest of your story is much the same as ours. He was 62 and died less than 2 months after the first signs that anything at all was wrong and 1 week after diagnosis. He too was very healthy up until then, however, this cancer seems to be slow growing and can be there for a very long time before it is found. It seems to become very aggressive those last few weeks. I too was very angry, but console myself with the fact that atleast he lived a normal life & only suffered for a short time. It is much harder for those of us that are left behind. By the time you know what is going on it is over & you really don’t have time to adjust. It has been over a year for me & I still miss him so much. I know exactly how you are feeling and am so sorry you lost your Mom and have to go through this journey of grieving. Come back here often. Read, ask questions or just rant & rave if this is what you need. Everyone here knows and understands and are happy to help and support each other. Again, you have my sympathy and understand. Know that here you are not alone. Take care and know that I am thinking of you and hoping you are doing OK.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHeya all!
Im new on this forum. So i just wanted to say hi to everyone and wish all the best for all of you who are fighting with this horrible disease or who have lost someone they love. Try stay as strong as you can! xxx
My story in short, my mother aged 42, got misdiagnosed with pancreatic cancer on my 23rd birthday at the end of July. When they diagnosed her cancer, it had already spread to her liver, lungs, spleen, kidneys, aorta’s and neck lymph nodes. And she was still working as a nurse to the day when she was diagnosed. (She was able to do her work and take care of her daily things without a problem.. is that normal when a person is so sick..??? I just cant understand it..)
After 2,5 weeks she lost her battle. The day when she died, i got to know that she had a CC. The primary tumor in her bile ducts had grown from few centimeters to over 15x20cm in a little bit more than a week. And the cancer was extremely aggressive (is that typical for CC?) according to the oncologist.
I found it impossible to understand that a woman who only had a little heartburn and no other symptoms, was so seriously ill. No one was able to expect that. She had always lived so healthy and didnt have any risk known factors for cancer. And then she was taken so fast from us, that we didnt even have time to adabt to that she was terminally ill. But now, when i think of this, it was better that it happened quickly imo, since it was going to happen anyway.. She didnt have to suffer for long.
I always thought im gonna be at least 60 when i will lose her, but no… We were so close with her, she was also my best friend. A person who always supported and understood me better than no one else.
As an only child, im finding this so hard to cope with, eventho i think im coping okay. As good as i possibly can. But there isnt a day that i wouldnt miss her or think of her. I think of her so many times a day, and i know im gonna do that for loooooooooong time still. I love her so much!! xxx
-Su-
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