No chemo today
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I do have to chime in that although the different specialists at UMD May have disagreed amongst themselves at times about best way forward and at times could have communicated better as well to each other, at no time did we get less than warmth and compassion from ONC, radiologists and nurses. Even people who answer phones for scheduling seem to truly care and by now know Mom when she calls.
It does seem that even within the same facility there may be a bit of egos and turf protection, but we come away with the feeling that it’s because they each want you to get best possible treatment.
Duke…I had a somewhat similar experience when i changed oncologist….but instead for me, it was having to convince them , the new oncologist and social worker, that I was okay with having them as my doctor and clinic, after horrible medical treatment and emotional abuse from the first oncologist. I was told that maybe I wouldn’t be happy with ANY doctor. That was flat out false……I didn’t trust anyone at that point, but if they could give me some assurance that they handled emergencies better and paid more attention, I would feel better. but instead of them comforting me for what I’d gone through, I had to convince them that I could “get over” what had happened and be happy. GAH!!!
I can sort of understand why an oncologist might want to wait on a chemo if you’re seeing a new oncologist, who theroetically might want to or agree to change the chemo. It sort of sounds like the old onc is cutting ties….she’s not stupid….she knows that she hasn’t done what you’ve asked…that she says things aren’t possible that you know are regarding chemo. I’d say that she’s holding back on chemo to not be responsible for you any further, as she figures you are going to jump ship anyway. That would be my guess rather than they don’t expect to see you again because you will die. In a way, she may be doing you a favor…because by the time you get to chemo again, under a new oncologist, it won’t be muddied up with blood counts that are as bad. It might end up being a new start.
As to the Mayo onc nurse I had last time up there….I felt that she was really quite “chilly” also….but hadn’t really thought about it until just now. Other people were warm and friendly. But, this last gal I saw in November was a cold fish. I don’t think she said more than a few words to me for the half hour that she took vitals, except for asking some charting questions. It was very uncomfortably quiet in the room. I can’t remember back to the previous nurses, so I guess they were so-so…neither friendly , nor unfriendly, I couldn’t even make small talk with this one though…..it was almost ike I wasn’t there in the room. I felt for sure she must know something…that the CT scan had shown something awful and she was trying to stay distanced in case I asked her anything. So, maybe you got the same one I had…or one ike her….if so…..not surprised at Aimee noticing something “off”. I think that they see so many patients up there at Mayo, that besides needing to maintain a distance from the patients for obvious reasons, they just don’t have time to get involved anyway. That said…..some are a lot friendlier than others.
Good luck with the appt on Monday with the new onc.Julie T.
Got an appointment Monday to consult with onc who is experienced with extrahepatic CC. At least he is in the right area.
Have any of you had this experience with your onc nurse? It’s happened twice now. The first time was when I was going to see Dr. Alberts at Mayo. The atmosphere was decidedly chilly. Like they did not expect to see me again. Like I was a traitor.
Second time was this week. Aimee picked up on it first. Current onc would not schedule a chemo for me until she heard back from the onc she referred me to. Same reaction – they don’t expect to see me back.
is this some sort of defense mechanism, since the majority of the patients they stop seeing won’t be back for a permanent reason? Are they cutting loose to avoid entanglements?
Duke
Duke….my hubby was one of those slide rule geeks before the HP was out on the market….at least at ISU, I never remember seeing any of the HPs. I’m sure he still has his slide rule, but has been through many versions of calculators since the first one he got…which was about $400 and he resisted a long time before getting that one,…partly cost, partly old school. But, it was good technology at the time and indispensable today for the stuff elec engineers do. Hmm…now that he’s retired…wonder if he’ll ever use his latest calculator again???? Love my Geek!!!
Julie T.
Hi Cuz. I remember the Geeks? We knew big things would come this this one. When he went to Kindergarten Robin had to dress him every day in a white shirt and tie and dress pants and he carried a little briefcase to school! Proud to say he is on a full scholarship at U of A and instead of a regular High School he went to a College Prep School. Such a proud G-MA of all 4 of them! Of course they come with 2 great family lines….Jewish and Japanese. Have to tell you 2 cute stories, I hope you find them funny.
When my Princess (I have 5 G-sons and 1 G-daughter) was about 10 she was standing in the bathroom with me watching me put on make-up. All of a sudden she pulled her eyes narrow and said, ” Look, Grandma, I look Japanese!” I said well, honey I have something to tell you, you are 1/2 Japanese. I just realized I could call them my Jewpanese!Then when Brandon, our 18 year old baby was about 6, we were in the golf cart going up to the pool and he was telling me that he got very mad at a boy at school. I asked why and he said, “He asked me if my Dad was Japanese!” I said what did you answer him. He says, “NO, he’s regular!”. Ah, how profound kids are and if only the world could see each other as regular! Night.
Duke….that’s so interesting. Just yesterday (really) I had the HP-35 calculator in my hand wondering what use it is at this time. Interesting coincidence, isn’t it? Not that I ever used it – too complex for me.
Hugs,
MarionFlattery Accepted.
I don’t mind sharing. Although some days I feel like it should be one minute at a time. ‘night allDarla –
Did you notice I borrowed part of your signature and added to mine? Plagiary is the sincerest form of flattery.Lainy –
Tell your nephew that it was tough being an engineering student in the old days. Only the rich kids could afford a HP-35 scientific calculator – they were over $400.00 at the time. So we die hards (with pocket protectors filled with colored pencils) proudly carried our 12″ Pickett aluminum slide rules on our belts. Order of magnitude was close enough. Besides, a calculator could not be used to draw lines on graph paper.Duke
So this onc needs to go and you can’t even get through to the new one for an appointment. HMMM Seems like time to go to plan B or is it C?
In some cases if your frantically keep pushing O you will finally get a really person, but if it is that hard to do is it the one you want?
Duke, you be whom ever you wish to be. It is your world, I am only renting space in it. lol
Whom ever said Engineers have little sense of humor were so wrong. I have a 19 yr. old Grandson at U of A in Tucson and he wants to be an Engineer. Not sure what kind yet but he is very quiet until he gets on a roll and BAM, his humor can be relentless! Just like you.
Lainy –
Would you be surprised if I identified more with Wile E Coyote than RR? He got a lot more laughs.Never really thought much about Spidey. In my formative years I was in love (or the next best thing) with Wonder Woman, as was any male with a positive testosterone level.
Darla –
This is all referenced to my local onc. Have not heard back from new onc to set up appointment. “All representatives are currently busy with other patients. Your call will be answered in the order it was received. Wait time is currently estimated to be greater than 30 minutes. Please press or say ‘3’ to return to the main menu.” If I had the power, that is one thing I would eliminate from our ‘civilization’.Duke
Duke…..I am aghast with the rudeness you are encountering (radiologist.) Don’t hesitate from mentioning names on this site.
Hugs,
MarionWarning, this is a bit of a downer.
The last post triggered a couple things I saw today. True, I am a talker, but I also observe.
First thing when I arrived, I noticed a woman a little older than me, on the verge of a serious cry. She only had one sheet of paper, not the full package, so either this was her first visit for chemo or she was getting a blood test. I wanted to reach out to her, but could not intrude. Her husband was with her, but he was stone faced, I think not wanting to acknowledge what might be happening to their lives. I may never see her again, but I didn’t know how to help today.
Then I ran into a woman I knew from church. She has been undergoing treatments for a couple years and things don’t sound good. We agreed that meeting at McDonalds would be a far happier occasion. She laughed when I told her there was another place we could be meeting and agreed the cancer center was a better place.
Last thing I noticed. There are about 14 treatment chairs in the center. This was the first time I was in the oldest group, by a large margin. There was one kid I’d estimate in his 20’s. Say what you want about HIPAA, a center is not set up for privacy. He was scared he would run out of money soon and wanted to talk with a councilor. Many in their 30’s and 40’s. Several men, so not all women. A few in their 50’s. Very few over 60. This is the first time I noticed such a disparity in ages. As much as it sucks to get cancer in my 60’s, I can’t imagine what it must be to get any cancer in your 20’s or 30’s. Cillie, and others, my heart goes out to you. I have kids older than you. If one of them was diagnosed with cancer, I would lose it, completely.
Peace.
Duke
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