Oh the Rollercoaster!

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  • #45996
    lisa
    Spectator

    A few months ago I read a book by Marcus Luttrell called “Lone Survivor”. He is the lone survivor of a four-man team that was found by the Taliban in Afghanistan, deep in enemy territory. Three of his men died in front of him, and he made it out alive only by crawling, wounded, 7 miles through mountainous terrain. A generous villager found him and tended to his wounds putting his own life and the lives of his family at risk from the Taliban. When Luttrell was finally rescued, and he was home safely, he decided to devote the rest of his life to help veterans and their families readjust to life at home. Some of these men carry physical wounds, and some are mentally wounded. Luttrell’s Lone Survivor Foundation is dedicated to these men and women to help them in what ever they need.

    Luttrell’s motto is “Never Quit”. When I think of the brave men and women voluntarily putting themselves in harm’s way to protect us and our freedoms, I think cancer is a small thing in comparison. Never Quit fighting, even if it looks like everything is hopeless.

    And last but not least, pray, pray, pray!

    #45995
    lainy
    Spectator

    Ahem! Kimmie and Susan? I heard ya singing!

    #45994
    cherbourg
    Spectator

    I can’t believe it! I have all of the Harry Potter Books on my Ipod and listen to them non stop. I would get in the car to drive to Greensboro (from New Bern, NC) and listen for the next 3 hours. It was and still is my getaway time!

    I have to admit….it was and still is the most theurapeutic driving experience!

    Hang in there! We are all here for you!!

    Hugs,
    Pam

    #45993

    Thanks so much everyone! My distraction, Harry Potter Books on CD! Yup works every time.

    #45992
    slittle1127
    Member

    I’m on one of those downs right now and all I can say is HOLD ON. What keeps you grounded? For me, it is my relationship with God and my family and friends. They have all been faithful, but it doesn’t make the roller coaster ride any better. It just gets you through it. There is an old saying, Stay cool and calm on the surface, but paddle like the devil underneath. I understand that you stay strong for her on the surface and underneath you are a wreck. It’s ok. Take time to be a wreck on the outside too when you are away from her. I also get in the car, put on my favorite music and sing at the top of my lungs. Apparently, it is good therapy for many of us. Sometimes I cry through the singing, but I go on singing. I listen to worship music.Come here often to vent and share with us. We know what you are going through and we care. Blessings to you and mom in the new year. Susan

    #45991
    marions
    Moderator

    I couldn’t agree more with anything already said. This cancer knows how to shake up our world. You hang in there, as a tidal wave of support is coming your way and we share with you the ups and downs of this roller coaster ride.
    Good luck with the Mayo visit.
    Happy New Year and best wishes,
    Marion

    #45990
    kimmie
    Spectator

    Yes yes, the rollercoaster. I think being just 6 weeks since diagnosis, it’s probably still like the steepest, tallest and fastest coaster in the world. My mother lived for 16 months after being diagnosed, and I can tell you the rollercoaster is always there, but eventually begins to be more like a kiddie coaster at the carnival. Still ups and downs, twists and turns. But often you can see what’s around the corner and know what to expect. Or you’ve been on the coaster so many times that it just isn’t that scary anymore. You begin to understand the lingo the doctors use. You can read blood work lab reports and actually know what they mean. You begin to recognize symptoms your Mom might be having because you’ve seen them before.

    But I know, sometimes you just wish it was the carousel.

    I agree with Lainy’s advice – find something that’s a distraction or outlet for you. When my Mom was in the hospital for her resection last summer, it was a 45 minute drive each way, sometimes more than once a day. The new Dave Matthews Band CD had just come out, so I CRANKED it up the whole way home and sang my heart out. Same with this past summer, once she was on home hospice at my sister’s house, it was a 20 minute drive, so again I’d roll my windows down, crank the tunes and sing at the top of my lungs.

    Hang in there – you’re obviously a super-duper daughter to your mother!

    #45989
    lainy
    Spectator

    Hi Prayingformom. Lance Armstrong’s motto, “Stay Strong” certainly applies to CC. Sometimes it feels like a strong tornado hitting a racing roller coaster all at once. But we have to hang on and hang in, what other choice do we have? In the end, somehow, strangely I feel we all come out better human beings for what we have been through, patients and Caregivers alike. Oh, if only we ruled the World! This Board has the most caring, loving people all with their own problems but here trying to help each other. Perhaps it is this unwanted fraternity that makes us better people. Maybe when you feel so bottled up you need to find something to distract you. I used to get in the car and when a block from the house let out a scream, then turn on my favotire CD “Mama Mia” and sing until I was hoarse. Mission accomplished. Know that you are not alone and that we all care and please come to vent or what ever makes you feel good. Good luck at Mayo.

    #45988
    cherbourg
    Spectator

    Hi PrayingforMom,

    Believe me when I say we ALL know about the rollercoaster….and NONE of us wants to ride!!!

    The best advice I can give is to use the 5 minute rule…..Do 5 minutes then do the next 5 minutes!

    Please come here often and vent and yell whenever you need to !!! We have broad shoulders and numerous arms for hugs and direct prayer lines!

    We are here for you and most of us really know as we have all walked in your shoes.!

    Sending hugs, prayers and love to you and your Mom and family!
    Hugs,
    Pam

    #4539

    Ok so Mom was diagnosed 6 weeks ago. Since then we have had our shares of ups and downs. Everything from extreme pain from the newly placed external drain tubes, to two rounds of chemo completely beating the shit out of her to the point of 2 blood transfusions. A fall on Christmas Eve morning. Now a platelet count of 25 has me sleepless. And of course the low blood counts, general fatigue and depression. But there has been a lot of good too. First, my mother was a very stubborn women and fought me on going to the Drs for months when the jaundice presented itself, so I know that if I didn’t get her to go when we did, she most likely would not have lived through the holidays. Not because her CC is so advanced, her tumor is only 2.5 cm and it has not metas. But because her blockage was so severe and her kidneys were starting to fail as was her liver. But now those both seem to be on the up and up. Of course with some permanent damage to both. Thank God we have not had any infections or cholangitis attacks like so many others have described. We are getting treated by an AMAZING Oncologist and we have an appointment at Mayo in Jacksonville next week just to be sure there is not more we can be doing for her now. I guess my question is more about the roller coaster of emotions. It feels like we take one step forward and two steps back. I try to be so strong for her and I think I am doing a good job, but really underneath I am a wreck! Just when I think we are going to have a good day something stupid happens, and it turns. I know so many of you are going through this is many different stages, and some of you inspire me so much because I know I am so new to this fight, and you have all been so brave for so long. But does the roller coaster ever at least slow down? And how do you deal with it when it takes those turns? I am sorry to be rambling, it just feels like one of those days :)

    On a brighter not, tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and I pray that we all find health, happiness and comfort in the New Year as we all continue to be strong.

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