Discussion Board Forums General Discussion Passing on advice and warning from my psychologist

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    Dear Kris,
    I hope I am not too late to jump into this conversation. I have taken leave from my work, a highly stressfull management postion in Disability (which I loved). I dont think my world has got smaller because I, fill the time with other things, things I have not had time for in the past. So in one aspect of my life my world has gotten smaller but in many more it has enlarged.

    Neale and I also see a counsellor througth the anti cancer council here in Australia and I must say it has been a great help


    Uh OH! Been there, done that. Teddy had come to Phoenix to golf with the guys for 10 days and we were just engaged. I missed him so much, we were living in Milwaukee WI, I picked him up at the airport wrapped up in a full length raccoon coat. He gets in the car, I surprised him and he announces he needs to get a sandwich and was so tired he dropped me off then went home to his house. So much for that! I vowed next time to just use Saran Wrap when I answer the door. Maybe he would show up as the Man from Glad! Thank goodness we were too old to have lots of little baggies laying around. You an tell I am getting tired so will say goodnight and put out the garbage bag for collection tomorrow.


    I know I’m letting my life get too small. I want to sign up for college classes but I’m afraid that I’ll be too tired to go to them. I want to go to my hockey games, but I hate spending money on frivolous activities because money is tight. I know I need to have fun, but not allowing myself an opportunity for fun.


    Oh you naughty thing! But I will think on that suggestion!



    Great post Kris!

    I hope you invested in LOTS of daffodils….my personal favorites. (plus there are sooooo many different kinds and you’ll need them all!)

    You are an inspiration and Hans is a very LUCKY man! Maybe you should buy that red coat and meet him at the door wearing (just) that!…..lol (That way he may not notice the flower bulbs…..)



    Thank you so much for sharing this, Kris. Ever since my dad’s diagnosis, it is like I have been living on the edge, waiting for the worst to happen, almost existing with a feeling of dread. Instead of celebrating the fact that he is here now with me, I need to see past the CC and live in the now.

    Thank you for this post, it really resonated with me.



    Hi Kris,

    This is a great idea the meeting with the psychologist for people who want it after diagnosis and it sounds like it really works for you. I agree with the point she is making about not wasting time, not that I think you are though. I see some of that in my dad though. This week he was talking about how he used to go up to Huntly as a boy fishing with his dad, and how he would have liked to go back one more time but doesn’t feel up to it now. I wish he’d spoke about that earlier this year when he could have went, even just for a few days. Doing what makes you happy now is so important.

    So you go out and get the 34 bulbs for the summer house, and get the red coat as well! And I’m sure that when Hans comes home and see’s the bulbs and your coat, he will be delighted!

    Best wishes



    Thanks for posting, Kris – I’ve been thinking about your psychologist’s comment & am realising it’s not just the patient whose world is at risk of shrinking!! I need to push my edges out again too!!

    Thank you!! :D


    I am so glad to hear you had a good and productive meeting with your psychologist! You have such a good support network and are a real inspiration.


    My friend (who has had ME for 25 years) does virtual trips, too, Val. Last weekend she took me with her to Kenya to sit in a treehouse overlooking a waterhole. She even let me bring my cat with me, as I didn;t want to leave her behind.

    I’d never been on a virtual trip before & I loved it!! She says she even has her own Castle in the Air & takes regular holidays there, too.



    I just wanted to mention our Dr. Giles. He is there for anyone, anytime.


    Hi Val, and when you come to Arizona come stay with us!!!!!!!!!!!!


    I forgot to mention the red coat. I also got a red coat & wore it for the holidays last year. My first without my husband. It doesn’t change anything, but it does make you feel a bit better to do something for you wether you need it or not. I figure, if you want it, go for it!


    Ah Kris, always an inspiration!

    Do you think your psychologist would like to have a world wide clientele?
    It’s all too easy to sit around letting the world go by – I think many people (with or without disease) are guilty of this from time to time.

    My good friend Frannie (who lives 150 miles away & has severe mobillity problems) & I take ‘virtual’ trips. This year we’ve done Bermuda (cos my brother & sis-in-law actually went!) & we’ve recently done a balloon trip over Cappodocia in Turkey! It is at least less expensive than the real thing! Think we’ll work up to the Paria Canyon ‘Wave’ formation in Arizona next.

    On the red coat – go for it – I have one, although bought last year before the illness, I’m intending to drag it out of the wardrobe now that Cornwall’s joined in with the frosty mornings. When you get the coat you’ll have an excuse (if required) to get more matching scarves etc!

    Hope the bulb planting goes well,
    Best Wishes, Val x



    You are awesome and I want to thank you for sharing this too. I think I need to think more about this for myself. I seem to have let my world and life shrink and it may be time to begin to expand it. Even with what you are all dealing with yourself, you are managing to help others. I’m so sure Hans will understand about the flower bulbs and be happy you bought them!


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