June 29, 2010 at 7:43 am #38618snezzieMember
You are so sweet. Those were lovely words.
snezzieJune 28, 2010 at 8:51 pm #38617
32coupe, devoncat..man I was laughing. Thank goodness for some humor in all this. Well, number one, dont’ know if the stent in his pancreas is plastic or metal. need to find out, not sure about infection for yellow poop and oncologist didn’t realize he needed pancreatic enzyme on top of stomach enzyme so he has been shoveling in food, mass increases , etc and losing lbs. I’m sorry but they are all knuckleheads and have no clue about all the angles to stay on top of …so we saw our original gastrointestinal guy who knew what we needed to do. so I HATE THE MEDICAL PROFESSION ! I would love to feel really confident when seeing a doctor, but no.June 24, 2010 at 9:34 pm #38616donna9Member
I too hate the fact that I’ve lost my best friend within 7 months after being told he was 99.9 cancer free. I hate the whipple surg he had. The long ordeal of home care to recoup. I hate the draining tubes that made him really uncomfortable for months and months. I hated the measuring of everything. I hate the IV feeding he had to have at home. I hated the long rides back and forth to the hospital and the fact that I couldn’t drive it. I hated the re admits for months on end with infection after infection. I hated the helplessness I fell not being able to Keep him alive. I hate the fact that he is gone and I so dearly miss him. I hate the fact that we all have to face such heart break.June 24, 2010 at 3:36 pm #3861532coupeParticipant
Thanks for your posting. I laughed out load. It’s great to be able to start the day with a laugh. Uf duh…
After a recent hospital stay for sepsis caused by a pesky blockage of bile ducts and treated with a couple of anti-biotics, I went several weeks with diareaha and a c-dif infection. One morning I finally had a normal bm and came back to bed to make the ‘announcement’ to my wife. As the words began to come out of my mouth, I started to cry. I thought to myself, “how pathetic, Bob” that I would get this worked up about a bm. Has it come to this… ?
Today is a gift from God… open the gift and enjoy.
bobJune 24, 2010 at 10:55 am #38614devoncatParticipant
My poop is yellow the majority of the time. In fact, when it is brown it is so rare that I feel the need to announce it to whomever I am with.
KrisJune 24, 2010 at 6:08 am #3861332coupeParticipant
Has anyone considered that the change in stool color could be a sign of a “C-Dif” infection? I’ve had a couple recently and my stool turns yellow. They can be brought on by hospital stays or long term anti-biotic usage or more likely both. It is an infection of the intestinal track and is normally treated with another anti-biotic called flaggel (sp?).
BTW, it’s good to have a place to vent where people “get it”…June 24, 2010 at 4:10 am #38612beth-oParticipant
I hate that I am at a place in my life where I CAN eat desert first….then they handed me a pill that makes chocolate taste awful (you guessed it Xeloda!)
there is no justice!
oh and to “Mother” your ache reaches right through this computer and touches a person. Your love for your mom is amazing. you will always hear her advice and loving words and as someone who has lost a parent/ friend I can also tell you, you will talk to her all the time. I just wish you could do it much more literally. Stay in touch, there is a great deal of support here.
When you have the strenght, make a statement that her life mattered and get active!- Your grief is a powerful tool.June 24, 2010 at 12:09 am #38611mlepp0416Participant
Isisman: Actually poop with any color is good as long as it is not white. If the poop is white, it means that no bile is getting through to the intestines. So yellow, brown, black and brown, green, etc. is good, but white is something to worry about.
MargaretJune 23, 2010 at 5:05 pm #38610
Thanks everyone for your support. You know, you have moments when you just lose it and need to yell and scream and fall apart. But you can ask anyone and they will say I’m strong, tough, and I got it all covered!! I do, I just need to vent here and there and I did it above. I went to CT this weekend to bury my dad and my mom hugged me and I cried my eyes out. She said everything right, but I just needed “mommy”! It was a few days I needed badly. My husband was overjoyed when I returned, but man the house was a mess. haha Anyway, I can do it and do it all. I’m known for that strenght. I dont’ need meds to take the edge off, it just comes and goes. Problem now is he is in pain, on too many pain meds, they have to try some patch, and now he says his poop is yellowish. This would mean a bile blockage so we are actually going to gastro dr to talk to him. Oncologist is not so great for everything, just scans, labs and drugs but need different doctor regarding what is going on in side related to blockages or digestion or pain. Surgeon is swamped and didn’t see anything in pics to support a visit with him. I give credit to people who can just travel or go to other drs for opinions. We don’t have the financial support time, etc to change doctors. We had the best surgeon so now just need to work with dr on pain, scans, labs and watching forward. It has only been two months since radiation and chemo and good test results, so I dont’ think we would expect cancer back, just maybe a blockage…maybe scar tissue from radiation or soemthing. Don’t know, but the yellow poop has made us concerned.June 21, 2010 at 12:21 pm #38609lalupesParticipant
Dear Isis, I recently got very depressed as a caregiver – including overwhelming feelings of “I’m the little sister; life wasn’t meant to be like this; this shouldn’t be happening”. My doctor & my sister’s support team at the hospice (plus this blessed, blessed site) have done wonders to restore my sanity. Please let off as much steam as you can/need to. Bottling it up will not help you or your loved ones.
You are in my thoughts & I’m happy to stand under a virtual bridge with you & S-C-R-E-A-M & S-H-O-U-T & V-E-N-T until we fall about laughing!!
Julia xxJune 17, 2010 at 10:16 pm #38608lainyParticipant
Dear Isisman, I can feel the pain with you, for you, only difference is our kids are grown and married. I have days like you, paying bills, making ppointments listening and watching for anything different.
Like Pam, I would ask you if you can’t get some help in the house or the yard or with the children. Perhaps your doctor can give you something just to take the edge off. We can feel right with you and I know we are in cyber space but we are there for you and feel free to come here to vent, we have some broad shoulders.June 17, 2010 at 10:11 pm #38607lisaParticipant
Please, please, for your sake and the sake of your family, find someone to talk to! You need to vent. You need help. This is the probably the most devastating thing that will ever happen to you and no one would expect you to do it all by yourself.June 17, 2010 at 8:48 pm #38606cherbourgParticipant
YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO CRY AND BE ANGRY ABOUT THIS!!!!! Your life has also been turned upside down and you are doing it all!
Being a caregiver is hard, sometimes thankless work!!!! I’m sure you are beyond tired, sleep deprived, scared, angry and at the end of your rope!
Is there any extended family that could help you or at least give you some time for yourself? How old are your children? Can they help more? Do you have friends or church members that could help?
I agree with your husband that the first rule for caregivers is that you have to take care of the caregiver FIRST!!! That’s easy to say but hard to implement. You have got to find some help and relief for you.
Please don’t ever feel you can’t vent here. Please let us know how things are progessing.
sending hugs (but wish it were helping hands for you!)
PamJune 17, 2010 at 4:59 pm #38605
Great site. I am a caregiver to my husband with CC. I feel so much upset and not knowing what may be down the road. Sometimes I just explode and cry for hours. I hate the responsibility of taking care of work and home and family and all the bills on top of it and not knowing if, or when, he will ever feel better…….cause he hates all the things on the lists above, and I’m so exhausted from being around this situation all the time. I hate when he burps and makes this pain noise at the end like it didn’t feel good and he walks around holding his hand over his incision like his stomach hurts or he’s holding things in and he is boney and weak and 80 lbs lighter than the the totally buff man that I picked out and married and was so attracted to. He is in there somewhere but I want it all back! My relationship is hurting, I’m hurting, if this kills him one day, I’m left after a long period of upset and being drained ……up till that time. He would get to go to heaven and be released from this and I have a huge yard and pool and plants and major garage mess and young snotty whiney kids and I’m overwhelmed thinking about it every day My husband always says it is harder on the caregiver. His focus is to be optimistic, do the right things, GET BETTER, but I have to take care of everything, everybody and hold it all together. becasue someday this may be my life, alone, overwhelmed. Shoot if I can’t do it now… Sorry for this, but I’m a mess and it is so bottled up. and I just want everything back the way it was, cause even if I complained them, well, I won’t now. haahaJune 17, 2010 at 5:31 am #38604devoncatParticipant
I hate when I randomly need to throw up…partricularly when I am out of the house. But a good friend assured me that people will not suspect that I have cancer, but that I am pregnant instead.
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