Please tell me I am doing the right thing….

Crissie, I, too, am thinking of you. As I am the patient, I can’t imagine your emotions. But getting your dad comfortable with care close at hand is the best thing you can do for him. I know you must be feeling helpless, but let professionals help him.
My advice: do whatever you can to help your dad. Let him know you care for him. And be there to listen to his wants and needs.

I am in agreement with all mentioned. Lisa’s veterinarian statement is one that rings so true. No one should have to suffer in the end stages of a disease, but we all too often witness it on this site. Crissie, it may appear strange and uncaring when “putting” things in order, but the reality is that even the anticipated passing of our loved ones demands preparation by us. Hospice will provide for your Dad’s physical needs and his beloved daughter sees to it that his affairs are put in order.
This is tough, dear Crissie, but your Dad must have had a pretty good idea that you are the trustworthy and conscientious daughter he wished for. Allow yourself to share this precious time with him. It will be imprinted in your mind forever. And, don’t let down your guards, keep your eyes wide open and speak up when needed. Not all hospice facilities or hospice personnel lives up to what is expected of them. I hope and wish for the best and most attentive care your Dad deserves.
We are with you, dear Crissie, all the way.
Hugs,
Marion

This may sound strange, but my veterinarian once told me that we are kinder to our animals at the end than we are to our people. Getting your dad comfortable in hospice is hard, but it’s one of the kindest and most compassionate things you can do. The power of attorney isn’t cold. Everyone should have some plan in place for dealing with the day yo day obligations. I think it’s probably harder on you than him to realize that. I know it wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have with my parents (who are in their 80’s), but I did after my younger brother died unexpectedly 3 years ago. I think it gives us all peace of mind that I have it.

Thinking of you,

Lisa

Crissie…my heart goes out to you. You’ve been in fighting mode and now to swtich gears, it’s just got to be incredibly difficult. You dad’s gift to you is to guide you in what he wants and to arrange things for the least stress for you. Accept his gift and spend as much time with him as you can….for him and for you. And, as KrisV said, find someone to talk to who understands the process of grieving and dying. You need someone trained to help you work and live through the emotions. If you need to let go of some emotions…and don’t have an outlet, you can always come here. Hugs and prayers for you and your dad.

Julie T.

Crissie, you are doing everything you can, yes you are doing right! It seems cold but there comes a time we all need to get our house in order and he sounds like he has accepted his fate and what ever you do now will give you less stress later. Is he in Hospice yet? What a wonderful unselfish man your father is to guide you in what to do. Just make sure that once he is in Hospice they keep him as comfortable as they can. I do have that end of life list if you would like to see it. It lists 10 things to look for and I can email it to you through our CC site. Be very strong and try your best to get ‘business’ done.
If you want to email me that is just fine, I am home most every day. I think your plan is perfect. I believe we know when it’s time and he is preparing you. You are not alone in this we are all here for you! You never know how strong you are until “strong” is the only choice you have!