Prognosis not good
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Sammi,
I agree with your daughter, celebrate early . The experts on this board are right, we don’t have an expiration date so live and love. I will be praying for your Dad and family.
LisaHow lovely to get such heart warming messages from across the pond. Thank you.
Funnily enough my daughter (the 10 year old) suggested we had Christmas early – how grown up is that? I’m now currently trying to convince my dad to move in with us and end his life surrounded by people who love him.
Xx
Dear Sammi,
I’m very sorry to hear about how your Dad is doing. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Catherine
Sammi….I agree with the others. We are big on the not to be determined expiration date and that includes the lengths of time for palliation as well.
I too would plan for the Holidays with your family. You may need to make some adjustments in case Grandpa may need to rest a bit more or, may be confined to his chair or bed, but he should be part of if.
Warmest wishes and big hugs,
MarionSammi…I agree 100% with Lainy on this. Celebebrate now..or as soon as you can…even if it has to be in his hospital room. Celebrate every day in some way….sort of like the Advent to Christmas. I just attended the funeral of the father of one of my oldest and best college chums. At Thanksgiving, they celebrated that, his great grandson’s second birthday, his wife’s birthday and an early Christmas, since they were all together. Even Thanksgiving, they celebrated that weekend instead of on the Thursday. Two hours after the last celebration, he went out to his car, sat there and unexpectedly died (note…he had pulmonary fibrosis…not CC…and was 90 years old). He lived a very long and productive life…and he died after having celebrated everything that was important to him. What’s more, the family is also more at peace…because they know that he was happy up to the end…it is being with family that is important, not an arbitrary date on the calendar. So, if Christmas must be early with your dad, so be it….don’t wait. If he’s in the hospital and doesn’t look like he’ll be coming home, then buy a tiny, artificial tree and decorate it with pictures of his kids and grandkids…or other people important to him…along with some of the usual ornaments and lights. The pictures on the tree will generate much conversation with nurses and possible visitors. In fact….even if he might get out of the hospital, get him that small tree now. People put up trees early, all the time. Make a box of cookies/treats for him to share with the staff. Hang some garland over his bed or flower shelf if the room has one. If he’s still with us at Christmas, then celebrate again with him….but there’s nothing “magic” about the “day” of Christmas. Well, there is…but you know what I mean.
Sammi, I am so sorry to read your post and I hope that Dad stays comfortable. There is no expiration date stamped on our feet so we really never know when the time has come. I do have a list that tells you when the time is near, like things to watch for. If you email me I will send it to you. My husband followed the list pretty closely. I do believe that we pick our time to take the journey.
I do have one suggestion about Christmas and that is to make it when he gets home. Many people have done that and it really doesn’t hurt a thing. Wishing for the best for you and your family.Hi,
Firstly I want to thank those of you who gave me much needed words of encouragement and advice recently – you are good and kind people and I cannot thank you enough.
I haven’t posted for a while, sometimes getting your head around all of this is half the battle.
For those of you who don’t know, my dad was diagnosed with inoperable and incurable Cholangiocarcinoma in July of this year. He was offered 6 cycles of chemo to prolong his life and given survival statistics of 5-6 months if the chemo is unsuccessful and 6-12 if it was.
Having reached out on here before, I was encouraged to seek a second opinion however he was not open to this suggestion at all and in fact argued that his oncologist was from one of the top rated cancer units in the UK.
Unfortunately Dad only got 4 out of his 6 cycles of chemo in. He contracted an infection in his toe of all places, which he recovered from and then more recently contracted another infection elsewhere (still not sure where) which resulted in admission to hospital and 2 blood transfusions. He remains in hospital at this present time.
Sadly, we’ve been told today that his cancer has not only grown but has spread to both the blood and the lymph nodes. The hospital are not offering any more chemo and have advised to arrange palliative care for end of life,
Hard question to ask, but are we likely to see Christmas with him? We’ve planned to all be together as a family but I’m terrified we won’t make it.
I have two young daughters who are 10 and 7 – I so want them to have this last christmas with their grandad.
Xxx
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