Rough couple of days
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Hi Kris,
Glad things are more “normal” today. Mark sounds like a great guy. He just had a bad day which is understandable given what he’s going through. It’s a tough road and I know for me some days it just hits me what I’m going through and I lose it.
Hope chemo went well today and drive home was uneventful.
Take care.
Peace,
MaryWell ONC came in a bit ago. I went to leave and Mark wanted to know where I was going so I stayed. He did tell him about the frustration levels this week and they talked about the scan in two week. Mark says he feels like he is spinning his wheels and going no where. He thought it would be like taking Antibiotics and he would feel better….Hmmm most people really feel worse with chemo. Doc offered him an antidepressant and he declined. He did say we would revisit it in two weeks.
Numbers are all good. CA 19-9 is trending down which is what we want and everything else looked good so we are off on another round. The only thing was his blood sugar was 421. They were a little freaked out but we covered it and by lunch he was down to 177. Good man decided salad was a better lunch today.KrisV
He doesn’t say the words as much but I know when he says them that he means them. I heard them many times with my ex but it came with a serious alcohol problem and when the alcohol was there….so were his fists. I was very leery when Mark seemed too good to be true. But he would kill himself first before he ever raised a hand to me. He has been there for me when I had my own significant struggle with depression and he helped me put the toxic relation with my mother on the back burner. We have our arguments which usually means and stomp and shout and he just waits until I wind down to say anything then we talk it out. He’s learned that I often need to vent then I can deal with the problems. My ex died in November from his alcoholism and Mark was there for me through it….It was a little rough since my son was his only real living relative (my ex’s father had too much dementia) so i ended up doing all the arrangements for him and Mark held my hand and never said a word. I really did get lucky.
Okay so all this talk reminds me again how special he is even when he is being a grump.
I understand, reminds me of T. My parents and brand ex never told me the 3 little words but T did daily. He wouldn’t walk near me in the house without stopping for a T-Bear Hug! Oh, we had our spats, usually 2 good ones a year. I would immediately retreat to the bed angry and in 5 minutes he would come happily in to the bedroom, go to our gorgeous wedding picture on the dresser and talk to it, like, “has anyone seen my beautiful wife. I have been looking all over for her, where did she go, I want my beautiful wife back”. Well of course it cracked me up every time and that was that. I feel so lucky to have had that kind of love.
Normal means he’s not growling at me or saying things he doesn’t really mean. I have to say Mark is one of the most mild-mannered people I have know. He is always glass half full kind of person which offsets my half empty thoughts. He never raises his voice and normally he would die before doing anything to upset me. I got real lucky when I went on the blind date with him….I had come out of a real ugly one and I guess it just made me appreciate it more.
KrisV
Yea, so far so good, well except for the accident. Glad everything is more ‘normal’ what ever that is. Let us know how the ONC went.
Carl – The teaberry I would try but you can keep the fluff. My sister had it in a couple of other flavors too….strawberry and chocolate. Still wasn’t great. Fluff is great to make fudge out of at the holidays and maybe Rice Krispie treats…other wise I will stick with good old PBJ.
We did make it to chemo this morning. He got up, got ready then got on my case for running a little late. Made it to 4 miles from our exit and spent 90 minutes sitting there doing nothing…..BIG wreck just ahead of us. People actually got out and walked around. I guess I am glad I was running late. Just did labs and I am going to take my walk soon so Doc can talk to him. I think he just had a bad day because we seem normal now. Just to keep me guessing.
KrisV
Maybe in the summer. Remember the old Teaberry Gum? Oops I keep forgetting not everyone on here is my age! I was wondering if that is what it tastes like, I loved that. And Blackjack Gum. A trip down memory lane. I think the Fluff may have too much sugar for me but I love tea, can’t stand coffee even the aroma gets to me. But Teaberry does sound good. Getting cold yet?
We are finally in the 70’s and 80’s…beautiful!Fluffernutter is the name for a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich made with “Fluff”. It’s like marshmallow but not sure it is the real thing. Fluff is a bright white color and lots of sugar. A fluffernutter is a peanut butter and fluff sandwich.
Here is the link: http://www.marshmallowfluff.com/pages/fluffernutter.html
And teaberry is a fruit from teaberry plants. A teaberry milkshake has a bright pink color and a sweet – almost peppermint like – taste.
Both are products of the Northeast. Doesn’t it make you want to live here?
Carl
Kris or Carl….OK so what is a Fluffernutter? And while at it what is Teaberry. I know Gavin also likes to hear about foods as well!
Again thanks to all for your support. It made me feel so much better. Knowing that some of you have gone before me and are now going through it yet again with me. Things feel so much more positive today.
Carl – My sister brought some fluff home a few years ago….can’t remember what kind and we all had a fluffernutter sandwich. I ate a bit of it and thought it would have been something I would have liked when I was 10. My son loved it and it think he was fourteen or so. I do however like the REAL maple syrup we get for Christmas.
KrisV
Kris,
Don’t second guess yourself about how you handled things from the beginning. You are Mark’s rock and that’s all that matters. Some people feel it’s their right to know everything and you should constantly keep them updated. NEWS ALERT…you’re working to help save your busband’s life. You don’t have time for their pettiness!!!
You are an amazing caregiver. Don’t let anyone make you doubt that.
Although she doesn’t live with me, my daughter is my caregiver. We are extremely close – have always been close. Yet there are times during this hell of a roller coaster ride where we have each let loose on the other, saying some things out of anger because of the frustration of this horrible disease. It’s really hard dealing with this, knowing the chance of longtime survival is slim. Yet trying to live in the moment and enjoy each day that is given to us. It’s just as hard for you caregivers, who have to watch someone you love go through this.
Stay strong Kris!
Peace, Love & Hugs,
MaryOK. Now you are bringing up the good ole days. Fluffernutter sandwiches were such a part of growing up in our area of Eastern PA. I tried one a few years ago and all I could think about was how my tastes have changed – or I’ve gotten old. Must be the first option.
Carl
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