Saying Hello ….
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Lainy,
We are all one imo, so it’s lovely to hear that the Catholic church invited a Rabbi to be on the alter- just how it should be.
Catherine,
That saying of ‘grief is the price we pay for deep love’ will stay with me forever. Thank you for welcoming me as one of you (us). It’s so lovely to hear.
x
Dear Nancy,
I saw your post earlier but wanted to give those members who have also had similar experiences chime in first. I’m sorry you didn’t find us right away, but now you are one of us. I was amazed when I found this group to see that most of the board members and people who do so much more in addition to this discussion group are almost exclusively people who have lost a loved one to CC. They are spreading the word and helping to foster more research and funding for CC.I am sorry for your grief. One of the posts that sticks with me is that grief is the price we pay for deep love.
Take care of yourself,
CatherineHa, Nancy, Teddy was Sicilian but born in Milwaukee and I am Jewish and boy did we celebrate everything! 2nd marriage for us both and we had in 16 years what most never have in a lifetime so I was blessed. He loved music and had a great tenor voice and sang with me in the Temple choir and towards the end his Priest requested equal time for the Church choir and T obliged. He sang with me in Temple for 15 years. I used to joke he sang on Friday nights at Temple and went to church on Sundays to ask forgiveness. At his Memorial I had the Temple and Church choir and it was the first time ever that this Catholic Church invited a Rabbi to be at the alter. I always think, why can’t the world be like this??
Nancy,
Thank you for sharing this. Many of us have had these experiences and are believers. I am sure mum will show you in many ways that she is still with you and she is OK. You just have to be open to the signs and I’m sure you will be.
Looking forward to hearing more from you. Take care.
Hugs,
DarlaThank you Lainy for sharing this. It is so comforting to hear what has happened to you. My mum was southern Italian (not from Sicily like you dear T), but nevertheless from the South. Sorry to hear of your own health issues. You sound like such a happy person…. looking forward to receiving your email.
I do believe things happen for a reason and I do speak to my mum and ask her where is she. Hopefully one day she let’s me know she is there one day x
OMGOSH! Nancy, I have goose bumps. First let me say that if you are seeing glimmers of light now and then that is a good sign and those glimmers will get bigger and last longer as time goes on. Please believe me on this.
I remember a story on here just like yours where a Mother went in to a garden and there was a bright light. I know when Teddy went to his Peace I was sitting there and he had a glow about him. A beautiful angelic glow and he was beautiful IF an old Sicilian can look beautiful! It was so awesome! He too laid in the Hospice bed and for the better part of the day when he started his passage, he was calm and his eyes never blinked for hours. My daughter and I were sitting there quietly and all of a sudden he stretched his arms out and started greeting people from beyond. He would give a come here motion with his hands, then envelope them with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and it went on for hours. The ONLY time he uttered anything was when he said ,”Oh, Mama”. Well if that does not make one believe I don’t know what would. My Daughter felt we were very privileged to witness this.
Nancy, I have kept a log of Teddy visits to me. In the 5 years he is gone I have had 120 visits. Usually through things electric. Our songs on the radio and a musical TV channel I listen to.
In February it will be 3 years that I was in the hospital and almost died from starvation due to Ulcerated Colitis. I was in for 2 weeks and EVERY night he was there as all night long, whenever I awoke I heard the rustle of fresh sheets! I was alone in the room with the door closed. Then this last April I took the big leap and had a colectomy and while T was not in my room he visited me once I got home EVERY night between Midnight and 4AM. I am in an apartment and there is a fire alarm light in the ceiling of the bedroom with a tiny light in it. My bedroom is pitch dark at night. That is where he has chosen to come through. When he is there the whole ceiling and half the wall lights up as well as half my dresser! My son and T sister have witnessed it.
Now it has been about 3 months and he stopped the visits. I have been having a hard time as when I had the colectomy the Surgeon accidently damaged the nerves on the underside of the bladder. This is not unusual and takes a year or more to heal. Anyway I was laying in bed about 10 days ago at night and I said, “T where are you? You don’t come to see me anymore! I still love you and miss you!” 2 days later at midnight, oh boy did he appear. Almost the whole room lit up. How can I not believe? And it brings so much comfort.
I am not telling anyone they HAVE to believe I just want to try and show the comfort it can bring. Our loved ones may have gone to heaven but really, they are just in the next room! I will send you the list.Dear Lainy, and Gavin,
I do get comfort from reading the boards. It’s odd but it feels like this group is a family out there who understand exactly how it feels. From diagnosis, to treatment and whatever else happens including the good and the bad.
Lainy, I went through so many different emotions about the afterlife and have been researching this since mum passed. I was brought up catholic so afterlife belief is very much part of my heritage. Then I started to question this so now I really am not sure. At the moment I’m reading a great book called Dying to be Me by Anita Moorjani. It is about her near death experience (NDE) and it is truly fascinating. So many people report similar stories when they have NDE’s and I do find this comforting.
I am trying to not let grief take over but my mum and I were, as my husband put it, ‘symbiotic’. We were like one. We spoke several times a day and I spent my weekends with her. Not being with her is such an awful feeling and all I want to do is cry. Yesterday when I got home from work there was a letter from the hospice attached to the hospital where my mum passed away offering bereavement support and I was so happy that this letter came. I did wonder if my mum sent this to me because maybe she knows I’m suffering and that life just doesn’t look the same anymore. The feeling is like being at the bottom of a very deep deep well and it’s pitch black. I’m looking up and every now and then see a little glimmer of light. I just hope that one day the light gets bigger and shines brightly.
Talking about light. I wanted to share this experience. The night before my mum died it was my turn to sleep at the hospital. (My brother and I spent the days together and took turns with the nights, effectively doing 30 hour shifts every other day). My husband said that night he was woken up in the early hours by light outside the bedroom. He said the whole landing was illuminated and he thought someone was shining a torch up our stairs and that it was a burglar and someone had broken in. This light he said was so bright and not a yellow light but the brightest white light he had ever seen. He jumped out of bed and went downstairs to see where it was coming from, he couldn’t see it in the house anymore and no one had broken in but he looked out into the garden and saw this light at the end of the garden, bright white as a long thin oval shape with the light radiating out from it and then it was gone. The next morning my mother had passed away and strangely that morning a few hours before she had gone I said to my brother when he arrived that my mum didn’t seem right. He eyes opened briefly and it was like she wasn’t there. The nurses did their usual daily washing and changing of the bedding that morning, and when they had finished I was going to go home and wash and change myself. I put my hands inside the bed to hold hers and noticed how cold they felt, I pulled the blanket back and saw that the sheet had a perfect circle of wetness where her hands must have been. Her night dress and the top blanket were both bone dry. I remember thinking how odd it was that there was this wet circle but no sign of where it had come from and everything else was dry. Nothing was leaking and nothing else was wet. My brother went to get the nurse to change the sheet again, I kissed mum and told her I was going home and would see her later, and when he came back her breathing changed. We were both there to hold her as she took her last breaths. I do wonder about that light. Was it mum coming to see my children before she went on her journey? I do like to think so.
My email is nancy804@msn.com.
It’s funny Lainy, but my eBay name is Lainygirl10. I don’t know where I got Lainy from but I just thought what a coincidence.
Sorry for the rambling story. Would love to hear your thoughts.
Gavin, thank you for your kindness.
Best wishes you xx
Hi Nancy,
Welcome to the site. Sorry that you had to find us here and I am so very sorry to hear about your mum. Having lost my dad to this cancer back in 09 I so know the pain that you are feeling right noiw. It is very hard but please believe me and the others when we say that things will get better for you. It will take time but they will get better and you will eventually look back on your mum with so much fonder memories than you most probably have right now.
I am glad that you joined in with us here as I know that coming here helped me so much and I am sure that it will do so for you as well. Please keep on coming back here and know that we are here for you. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
My best to you,
Gavin
Dear Nancy, yes, sadly it is all normal. I do know that in time all the good memories of your Mum will come forward and crowd out the bad memories. If you feel the grief has really taken over you can ask your Doctor for something very mild to help until you feel better. Mine had put me on Lexapro 10mg and t sure helped. We all grieve differently and when you are feeling better it will also make your Mum feel good as all she wants is for you to be happy.
I am a believer in the beyond. IF you are a believer I would love to send you Signs that your loved one is around you. I find so much comfort in believing as I know my Teddy is always with me. Let me know if you would like the list by sending me an email through the Board. I have heard some amazing stories from a lot of our Members here. Sending you a huge cyber hug. {{ }}Hello everyone,
I’m looking at the Boards daily since I found this website and have to say the good work you Admin people do here is outstanding!! I wish I had found you sooner when I was going through the early stages of my mum’s diagnosis and care. It would have been so helpful.
Anyway this cloud of grief still has a tight grip on me. Yesterday I literally walked out from work to the train station and only realised I’d left my handbag at work when I’d actually got to the station. So unlike me and really upset me that I’d done something so stupid. Initially I thought my bag had been stolen so it was a relief to find it still under my desk at work. So many absent-minded things I am doing which I guess is quite normal.
I think about my dear mum all the time and miss her so much.
Love to you all x
Dear all,
Logging on and seeing your replies this morning has lifted my spirit. You understand so well how I’m feeling. Last night a friend of my mums send a most beautiful card, with words that summed up my mum completely. It made me cry knowing someone else felt and appreciated her qualities the same as me.
God bless you all and this site for being here right now.
I hope to get to know you all better.
This pain is awful and my heart is heavy. Thank you all x
Dear Nancy,
Thank you for taking the time to say hello. There are so many families that are touched by this horrible disease and we are only hearing from such a small portion.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope in time the loving memories will ease the pain.
Take care,
CatherineDear Nancy,
I am so sorry that you lost your mother to this disease. Many of us have lost loved ones quickly, in much the same way as you have lost your mom. We know & understand what you are going through and feeling right now and are here to help and support you in any way that we can. My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad & trying time.
Darla
Dear Nancy,
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Sending prayers for peace, comfort and strength to get through this difficult time.
MelindaDear Nancy, I am so sorry about your Mum. Please accept my humble condolences.
It is hard to sing of oneness when our world is not complete, when those who once brought wholeness to our life have gone. Nothing but memory can fill the emptiness their passing leaves behind.
But memory can tell us only what we were, in company with those we loved.
It cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no one is really alone; those who live no more, echo still within our thoughts and words. What they did is part of what we have become.
We pay homage to our departed when we live our lives most fully, even in the shadow of our loss.
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