Sensitive – Be Aware The Passage to Death

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    Pam, thank you so very much for that note and including the feeling of being ‘privilidged’ as that is what we felt about Teddy’s Transition. Sometimes it is very hard to describe that feeling.
    We have started a new category here so that others who are not ready, do not have to read these Sensitive posts. Our hope is that people will write these under Supportive, Palliative and Hospice and I still like marking these notes Sensitive. Again thank you for being so sensitive!


    SENSITIVE: I was my dad’s care giver and was by my dad’s bedside when he passed. He had his last sit up and assisted shower on a Thursday and then slowly went downhill and into a coma the last several days of his life. He didn’t want many clothes on either. We draped him with an airy sheet and ran a small fan which helped him to stay calm. We talked to him and kept him well medicated. He was very comfortable. Some of his medications were not liquid form so we crushed what we could and applied with drops of water. (Wished all would have been in liquid form). We used lots of lip balm on him. He opened his eyes moments before he passed and we were able to tell him hi and that we were going to miss him terribly. He had asked we wait a time (30 minutes or so) before calling Hospice to inform them of his passing and we honored that request. It was an honor to be his daughter. His death was not scary at all. I felt it was a privilege to be there.


    SENSITIVE: Hospice does not have to mean it is the end but they are wonderful for Home Care and they will ease the way on this journey. They also have a booklet on what to expect, as that time grows close. Teddy started sleeping more, eating less, and about 10 days prior to the end he started ‘picking’ at his clothes and sheets. This is some kind of preparation some go through. Perhaps he wanted to leave as he came in, unclothed. It is NOT that scary, honestly. I used that time to be nearer to him in every way and when the end came it was something I had never witnessed in my life. I have never been afraid of dying and it even convinced me more that any fears were unjust. My daughter was with me and Teddy’s last day was awesome! Robin kept saying, “Mom do you know how privileged we are to be a part of this”. Some privilege, I know, but you would have had to be there. Teddy sadly was in a lot of pain for about 4 hours but as his body started to close down the pain slowly left. He laid there for hours with his eyes wide open but never blinked. They DO know what is going on and they DO hear. I told him several times it was OK to go to his peace and that I loved him. Each time he put his fingers in his ears. He was NOT ready. He was waiting for something. As the pain started to decline he began “greeting” others from beyond! He would hold out his arms, encircle them with a big Teddy bear hug and even smooched his lips to kiss them. This went on for about 5 hours! There are no words to describe the calm and beauty of those 5 hours. I cry now as I think about it, not tears of losing him but tears at the awesomeness of it all. After his meet and greet was over the chest rattle started which is the heart shutting down. If you are not prepared it is a rather disturbing noise and loud. I understand now there is a patch for it which we did not have. I explained to Robin that he is not feeling any pain, it just sounds bad. There was only the 2 of us as 2 teen Grandsons were home and Teddy’s kids were all out of town. When the rattle started Robin called the boys and told them Papa was passing but they did not have to come. With in 15 minutes they walked in. Robins said, “Papa. Kyle and Brandon are here”. Three minutes later he passed. That is what he was waiting for. I feel he didn’t want Robin and I to be alone and she felt it was his last life lesson that he was teaching the boys. Sorry to be graphic but to me this is a good graphic. Hang in, be strong and do not be afraid! I hope this helps. The more you can understand it the less frightful it will be. Feel free at any time to e mail me or call me.


    Please be forewarned that you may find some of the reading in this thread difficult or perhaps even offensive and/or frightening.

    It is a place for those wanting to share their thoughts, empty their hearts, and help others understand the process of death and dying of their loved ones.

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