So worried for my dad :-(

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 20 total)
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  • #85994
    gavin
    Moderator

    Dear Sammi,

    Please do NOT worry at all about posting on Christmas Eve or Day or any other day for that matter. You go ahead and post whatever you want to at any time at all! Do not worry about that in the slightest. As I said to you, I was where you are right now with my dad and I so know what you are going through with everything.

    You are certainly not alone in this, we are all here for you and will help as best as we can.

    Thinking of you and your dad today.

    Gavin

    #85993
    dukenukem
    Member

    Sammi –

    Know that there are many others who are thinking of you and your Dad and praying for both of you. We don’t post individually because others have said in far better words what we feel.

    Duke

    #85992
    middlesister1
    Moderator

    Dear Sammi,

    Although we are very fortunate that Mom is still doing well, shortly after diagnosis, although not the same as a letter, I bought bracelets for us 3 daughter and Mom with charms that are inscribed with “The love between a mother and a daughter is forever”. She took it as a token of love and not a sign that we were giving up. I think a letter written in thanks and love to a parent could only be a good thing, and such a beautiful idea to do for a parent for Christmas, even if they are healthy.

    Take care,

    Catherine

    #85991
    lainy
    Participant

    Dear Sammi, YES, I agree you should write it all down. I think something like that though is really more effective to just sit down with him and tell him how you feel. If you break down, so what? You are his daughter and the fact you feel that way he would expect and welcome it from you. Sammi, when we let our feelings known it not only releases our loved one it helps release us. Best of luck with this. You will never regret it.

    #85990
    sammi0703
    Member

    Marion, the medical profession have pretty much washed their hands of it all. They said there was nothing more that could be done and that’s that. Apart from MacMillan and his local GP we’re on our own. All the GP does is write another prescription be it pain meds or anti biotics.

    Gavin – thank you. It helps to know of others that have experienced this. Makes me feel less alone. I like to think that the old saying “times a healer” works, however I cannot see how any time in the world can heal the pain of losing a loved one.

    I’ve been thinking of writing him a letter telling him what he means to me and thanking him for being such an amazing father and grandfather to my daughters but I would need to give this to him before he’s too far gone to read it. That would mean doing it very soon I believe, but I don’t want him to feel I’ve written him off. Your thoughts please? I’m only thinking of doing this because if I were to try and even begin to tell him, I know I’ll break down and I don’t want him to see that.

    Sorry to post on Christmas Eve – it’s just another day of sadness for me but trying to stay in the spirit of it for my young children.

    Thank you all for your support – I haven’t reached out to anyone else as I find it hard to talk about without breaking down.

    #85989
    gavin
    Moderator

    Sammi,

    Having been where you are with my dad 5 years ago I so know how you feel and what you are going through right now. This is such a tough time for you all. My dad had lots of trouble with vomitting and tried loads of different meds and combinations of meds to try and deal with that. He also was on Haloperidol and that helped a bit as well. You are not alone in this, we are here for you.

    Hugs,

    Gavin

    #85988
    marions
    Moderator

    Sammi…….Hepatic encephalopathy may be the cause of your Dad’s hallucinations. I assume that the physician is aware of the situation and has advised you accordingly.
    My heart is with you in this difficult but so special time.
    Hugs
    Marion

    #85987
    sammi0703
    Member

    Thank you – you’re so kind and it’s a great support knowing you care and are there for me.

    Xx

    #85986
    lainy
    Participant

    Dear Sammi, hallucinations are part of it and sometimes can come from increased Morphine. There is an RX called Haledol (sp) that usually stops the hallucinations. I am so with you, I do know what you are going through as Teddy went through the same. Stay strong and feel us all next to you!

    #85985
    darla
    Participant

    Sam,

    So sorry to hear this. Just want you to know that I am thinking of you and your family. Try to take a little time for yourself during all of this. I know that isn’t easy, but even a few minutes helps. Continue to let us know how things are going when you can. We care.

    Hugs,
    Darla

    #85984
    sammi0703
    Member

    I actually wrote the above message the other week but it’s only just posted.

    He’s definitely going downhill – he’s workec one day this week but it’s exhausted him. We’ve now found out he’s got another infection and is back on the antibiotics. He continues to vomit and is now disorientated and hallucinating. He’s sleeping today.

    Just want to thank you all and wish you a nice Christmas with all your loved ones.

    Xxx

    #85983
    sammi0703
    Member

    Thanks to you all for your kind responses. I’ve received the 10 signs from you already Laney – thank you.

    He still continues to work – he’s worked 4 days this week as he took one day off to sleep. He’s now on morphine patches – they’re trying to get his pain meds right and I’m hoping once this is achieved that he may regain some appetite.

    He still isn’t eating and he isn’t drinking now either – I have no idea how he gets up and goes to work each day without eating and drinking. He just takes small sips of water because he is dry but no more than that.

    I think he’s holding on for Christmas and it’s my belief that he will let go after this.

    He’s a very proud, strong man who has never asked for help and that’s why he won’t give up work yet. To some degree I think he wants to carry on life as normal – I know he’s scared (understandably so) and I think he thinks if he slows down it will get him quicker.

    Xxx

    #85982
    kvolland
    Participant

    Sammi –
    This is such a hard thing and difficult to deal with, especially at this time of year. One bonus of this time of year is that families are often gathered together and makes broaching difficult subjects a little easier.

    https://fivewishesonline.agingwithdignity.org/index.php

    The line is to the five wishes online. Five wishes is a way for people to plan their end of life. It basically asks simple questions and gives samples of answers that can be used or a blank area where you can right in your own ideas. It covers things such as pain, who is to communicate for you among other things. It can be an easy way to start this type of conversation.

    I hope this helps for you. I am sure that your dad is working is a form of denial, that as long as he is working then there is nothing wrong. I understand that a lot.

    Hang in there. and keep us posted.

    KrisV

    #85977
    lainy
    Participant

    Sadly, Sammie, all normal things and all you can do is be there when he needs you. That is the best thing and the only thing we can really do. Thinking of you and your family!

    #85976
    sammi0703
    Member

    Thanks to you all for your kind responses. I’ve received the 10 signs from you already Laney – thank you.

    He still continues to work – he’s worked 4 days this week as he took one day off to sleep. He’s now on morphine patches – they’re trying to get his pain meds right and I’m hoping once this is achieved that he may regain some appetite.

    He still isn’t eating and he isn’t drinking now either – I have no idea how he gets up and goes to work each day without eating and drinking. He just takes small sips of water because he is dry but no more than that.

    I think he’s holding on for Christmas and it’s my belief that he will let go after this.

    He’s a very proud, strong man who has never asked for help and that’s why he won’t give up work yet. To some degree I think he wants to carry on life as normal – I know he’s scared (understandably so) and I think he thinks if he slows down it will get him quicker.

    Xxx

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