Teddy Boy —not doing well

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  • #43727
    slittle1127
    Member

    Lainy – I echo Amy’s thoughts – you are such an inspiration. I am so thankful to have you on this site. Sorry for what it took to get us here. I am praying that Teddy has had a comfortable day and you have shared some precious honeymoon moments. Blessings, Susan

    #43726
    amylea
    Spectator

    Lainy, You are such and inspiration to all of us. Teddy is so lucky to have you. Sounds like you are lucky to have each other! I know that times are so difficult for you right now, but you seem so strong and have a wonderful attitude. I think of you both daily.
    Lots of love, Amy

    #43725
    walk
    Member

    My dad had back pain for the last 6 months or so. His ran left to right (horizontally, if you will) across the middle to upper middle of his back. Because his started early, he was scanned for mets and found none. I suspect is may be like gall bladder pain and manifest in the back, I hope Teddy finds relief.

    #43724
    marions
    Moderator

    Roni…..many of our members have undergone Sir-Sphere treatments. And, some had some remarkeable results. You may find previous discussions re: this subject in the google search function, top of page.
    Best wishes,
    Marion

    #43723
    marions
    Moderator

    Susan…..I would make plans for the 28th wedding anniversary.
    Best wishes,
    Marion

    #43722
    slittle1127
    Member

    Thank you both so very much. Since his pain is increasing, he will be more open to help with managing the pain. It is so helpful to hear of other people’s experiences. Except for this board, people cannot really understand what we are going through. You are invaluable and I appreciate you so much. This morning my husband said that he made our grandson’s first birthday and his next goal is our wedding anniversary (#28) on November 27. Thanks again. I think I will be calling hospice tomorrow along with the doctors. Thank you again. Blessings, Susan

    #43721
    marions
    Moderator

    Susan…I had been in a similar predicament with my husband refusing to be tended to by Hospice. In his mind it meant “giving up” and that he simply was not ready to do. I told him that palliative care stands for “comfort care” something of utmost importance to implement with progression of this disease. You might want to contact Hospice for more information, because they have experienced similar situations and may be able to pass on a few more helpful things to mention.
    Best wishes,
    Marion

    #43720
    lainy
    Spectator

    Susan, trust me, Hospice will know exactly how to handle your husband. They are wonderful and will give you such relief. Tell your husband that you are not calling them because you think he has weeks to live, but calling so that what ever length of time he lives it with quality and pain free. You can also tell him that YOU need them to help. I believe that once everything is out in the open from the doctors and hospice he will even be more calm himself. He is floundering right now with a monster that no one seems to know anything about and that can make anyone uneasy and doubtful. The ONC needs to tell him what the radiaton will do VS. doing nothing. We were told for Teddy that it would maybe buy him 1 more month. Well, one more month of what? Feeling sick from radiation. It was a big decision but he does not regret it. We were originally told he would leave us about the 1st of Oct. Well, howdy do, we are into Nov. and here he is, and may even make Thanksgiving!

    #43719
    slittle1127
    Member

    Thanks for all your words. We are calling the oncologist tomorrow. I am not in favor of radiation as we have been told by at least 3 specialists that he is only a candidate for palliative care. I think he is grasping at any possible treatment. I think our oncologist can explain some things to him so he feels he has had a good explanation. He forgets a lot. He is feeling a little better today. I have kept him from driving for the most part. I think he needs the doctor to tell him not to drive as if I do it, he says I am overreacting (which I am not prone to do). I hope to accomplish a lot tomorrow in contacting doctors, making appointments and hopefully getting some things in place. I would welcome some hospice at this point, but not sure my husband is ready. Not sure if he will ever be ready, but I will contact them again for my own sake. On tough days, I don’t think as clearly as normal. Thanks for being blunt, honest, open, upfront, and most of all so caring. Thanks for being part of my life as we walk this difficult journey. I feel so blessed to have this place to share and get feedback. Blessings, Susan

    #43718
    darla
    Spectator

    Susan,

    I have to jump in here and agree with both Janet & Lainy. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. What you are saying is what I saw my husband go through and I too feel that at this point hospice would bring you all some peace and comfort at this time.

    Lainy,

    I hope you and Teddy have a good day today. Hang in there.

    Love & Hugs,
    Darla

    #43717
    lainy
    Spectator

    Susan, you do not need insurance for Hospice, they cover it all. Also you can go on Hospice and go off any time you want. The more you are telling me the more I am inclined to think you really need them! He also should NOT be driving
    he is a danger to himself or someone else. Sorry to be so blunt but I see too much of what is happening in Teddy happening to your husband. No one is receiving any favors by not having your ONC call Hospice. They can start even a year out to help.
    Children: My personal feeling is children worry more when they do not understand what is happening. Our Grandchildren here are 14 -21 and have been in on everything from the beginning.
    You also got a post from Janet who is a Nurse. And we both agree that you need to call. Do not be afraid, it is not admitting defeat, it is asking for relief for everyone.

    #43716
    magic
    Spectator

    Susan,I think your husband is definitely declining as you say yourself.I wonder if harsh treatments like radiotherapy are apropriate now.I am inclined to agree with Lainy that hospice care would help you both at this stage and bring you some comfort and peace Janet

    Lainy ,hoping today is a good one for Teddy x

    #43715
    slittle1127
    Member

    Lainy – Thank you for your words of encouragement. We have talked to hospice, but were waiting for insurance that finally came through. Now he is wanting to at least talk to City of Hope about the potential for radiation to shrink the tumors. He has been throwing up more in the past week and today hasn’t been able to keep anything down. He is nauseous (we have meds for that), weak, in pain (we have meds for that) and dizzy. He says he thinks the end is soon, but I wonder if that means he is just scared and tired of feeling bad. I can see that he is declining, but I think you were right when you said he is spending so much time and energy trying to be normal. I have always said that he will push himself and probably not linger long. It’s just the way he is. I love him and hate to see him suffer and hate the thought of losing him. Also, it is so hard just not knowing if we are on a steady decline or on the roller coaster. If we do not get a good response from City of Hope, we will consider hospice. He is having trouble maintaining a consistent body temperature today – hot then cold. He is losing weight again at a fairly rapid rate. He was happy to live until our grandson’s first birthday (yesterday) and the party today. He came out of bed for 5 minutes and greeted everyone and has been in bed since. I think I told you he spends all his time at home in bed. When he gets up, he usually runs a short errand. I am afraid to let him go out alone because he is so dizzy and is falling. He uses a cane at home and a mobie cart when we go out. I’ll let you nkow how he does over the next few days. Thanks for listening. While I have lots of support, I don’t want to worry our children or make it sound like I’m so depressed. I am able to cope because of the support, my faith, and that we have some good days.

    How is Teddy today?

    Blessings, Susan

    #43714
    linda-z
    Spectator

    Lainy,

    I am so sorry for your newest situation. You are a tremendous rock for T and help with things involving the rest of us on this board as well with such knowledge and respect. I hope to give some of that back to you as well.

    I just wanted to also add my prayers and good wishes to you. It would be really nice for us all to meet someday, but over the miles will have to do for now. Lots of hugs and memories to you and Teddy.

    Linda

    #43713
    ronidinkes
    Member
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