Three weeks later
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Dear Sarah,
Yes, things do have a way of working themselves out one way or another. not always as we expected or planned, but it seems to happen. I guess I have just realized that what Marion said is true also for myself. I have taken things one day at a time, but gradually start to think ahead a little. My husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago and I think I am now at the stage of thinking a little further out. Not as far ahead as next year yet, but atleast next week and maybe even month.
Like Susan, I still feel most secure in my home and familiar surroundings. I still have many moments of sadness and tears, but I do think I am beginning to handle this in a better way and don’t let myself completely fall apart.
None of this happens quickly, but in time you will realize that you too are beginning to heal. Figuring all this out is a continuous process and Ben is right there with you giving you strength and urging you on.
You and Hannah will be OK. You will be each others strength and support.
Do keep coming back here. The help and support of others who are feeling and going through the same things that you are is so comforting. As Marion said, you may also find some help through Dr. Giles.
Take care Sarah. I am thinking of you and Hannah as you continue on this journey.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Sara – I can imagine that you are anxious about your sis-in-law leaving you. I have found that I feel most secure when I can stay at home in our house. Somehow I feel safe and secure in our home even though my husband passed away 5 weeks ago. I have “moments” when I cry and I miss him. I have more times when I struggle having energy. I forget to eat. But my family and friends are very supportive and I joined Lainy’s PUSH club. I push myself to do what I need to do. I don’t think about the future. I handle just what I need to in a day. I have my son help with some things that seem too much for me. My daughter lives close and she cooks for me a couple times a week or invites me to her house. Everyone does this differently, and you will find your way. It will be very important for you to talk as much as you need to. Come and post often and we will talk with you and just tell you what has worked for us. You will take what appeals to you and try those and see what works for you. Blessings to you as you transition in this difficult time. Blessings, Susan
Sara….it still is quite early to figure life out without Ben. It will happen and Hannah will show you the way. Don’t expect to be perfect at anything…you will do the best you can with the situation given. Be kind to yourself and you will see for life to fall into place. My husband passed away four years ago and with him went our future as we would have liked to have it seen. Frankly I still don’t quite know how to decipher my future life therefore I just take it one day at a time. At first I could barely make plans for a week ahead, then a month, then a few months and now I am even thinking of next year.
Oh, I also wanted to mention our Dr. Giles. (Top bar, patient support.) Several of the questions address just that: how do we move on? And, you might also want to send to him a note. We are fortunate to have him and he is here for everyone including, you.
I am thinking of you and am sending all my warm wishes your way,
Bit hugs to little Hannah,
MarionSarah – Your feeling of being anxious is positively normal. I might suggest setting a daily routine for yourself and finding some things that will keep you busy (go to the library or a book store); find some volunteer opportunities in your community — even if it is a small thing — something that is positive. Take time for yourself and come to this Board as often as necessary. This is a great resource for venting and letting your feelings out. I could not have gotten by without this family of friends! Hugs – Nancy
Hi Sarah, I know the feeling, last Sunday was 3 months that Teddy had passed.
Somehow we get this strange energy and yes, some strength to do what we have to do. I had to do a ton of paper work. Forms to the VA, change credit card names and etc but it really kept me busy. My friends were wonderful and saw to it that I either had company or went to lunches with them. I kept telling myself that this is how Teddy would want it as he was always telling me to be strong. Just before he passed he told my daughter he loved her and he told me “be strong” as he knew I knew how much he loved me. Everyone handles grief differently, guess mine has been pretty textbook.
I am a believer in the beyond and I have seen some incredible ways that Teddy comes to me. In fact I posted some today. I guess for me knowing that he is around is just what I need. Oh, I have have my meltdowns but know what? They are good for you as long as you feel they are not out of hand. And I talk. I talk a lot about Teddy, still. The crying is not as bad as in the beginning. I had a little meltdown Sunday morning while I was brushing my teeth! That was the first time in about a month. I tear up but the crying is less.
Take one step at a time and eventually that step will lead to a yard, to a block to a mile. Please feel free to post here as often as you like as we have many women in our same position and we are all here for you. We understand and we care.
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