too late
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Thank you Joyce. I can honestly say that I feel the same about you. Your Mom was also very lucky to have you. I can not begin to tell you how much your posts & so many others on this site have meant to me. I couldn’t have gotten through the past 6 months without all of the love, help & support I have gotten from all of the wonderful caring people on this site.
I have often felt as you have when reading some of the posts and also hesitate to reply as I also do not want to take hope away from anyway and as we all have found out, this disease is so unpredictable & treats everyone differently. Our experience may not be the same as theirs.
Take care Joyce & keep posting as I feel that by being here & trying to help others deal with this horrible disease we are also helping ourselves.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Magic and Teresa,
I think I know exactly what you mean – I sometimes read posts and think “that person will be gone soon” but I can’t say it, can’t take away their hope based on my own experience (and I could be wrong), and I don’t want to be a downer. So I usually stick to the Grieving and Remembrance sections when I want to contribute. My mother lasted two months after diagnosis, and it’s not a story people want to hear if they’re still fighting this disease – and I certainly don’t blame them. But I do think there’s a place for those of us who were left behind so brutally and quickly by this horrible disease. There’s a small band of us who are devastated and feel free to vent and express all their emotions. I know I’ve dealt with – I’m STILL dealing with – anger, depression, hopelessness, guilt and just plain grief.So please, Magic and Teresa, please know that there are many of us here who are in a similar boat and we want to hear what you have to say. Like I said, the Remembrance and Grieving sections are perfect for letting loose with all the thoughts that are burdening you – and you can be heard by people who truly understand, because they’re going through the same thing. No one expects you to put on a smiling face or “get over it.” You’re entitled to all your feelings and it may help to share them a bit. I know it’s helped ME.
Joyce M
Darla, you are a darling and I wish I had your way with words. What a comfort you are, to so many people. Your husband was so lucky to have you.
Magic,
I did not find this site until a few days after my husband passed on. I too thought that at first it was too late for me & that I wish I had found it sooner, that it may have made a difference if I had know what I know now before he passed on. I have come to realize now that is not true. It would have been good to know what was happening but it would not have changed the out come in our situation. This site has been a God send to me & I have formed some true friendships with many of the people here. Without this site & all of these wonderful people I don’t know what I would have done. Having to deal with this monsterous cancer is something that only those of us who have been touched by it can truely understand. We all need each other to share the victories & the grief. Please know that just by being here, you have become a part of this wonderful club that as Lainy says “no one wants to join” but that we are all happy to be here. I do respect your opnion & it is your choice if you are comfortable posting here or not, but please do not think you do not belong. We are all here to help & support each other and will be here for you too if you let us.
Teresa, I hope you too will stay with us. I know how hard it is and how much you miss Shirley. We all need to help, comfort & support each other as we travel down this road of grieving.
Love & Hugs,
Darla
I think my point was that I introduced myself too late.My husband was sent the website by a friend in NewYork but it was too late for him to make contact.I just noticed there seemed to be 2 camps and actually most of the people (not all)who responded to this post didnt respond before.I myself genuinely do feel compassion for all of you at all stages but I think if my husband and I had had the time to make contact before we might have felt more part of the clubetc
Magic,
Both sides of the coin are certainly welcome here. People get hope from the posts of “good” news and can relate so easily with the tragic, sad news. Please, if it helps you to grieve and mourn by posting here there are many of “ears” to hear and help support you.
Peace,
KarenMagic,
I believe this site is for everyone dealing with ANY part of this disease. I am humbled by the love, compassion, determination and will to live that is shown by all who post here. We are so fortunate to have found each other on this site.
I celebrate with the victories and grieve with the setbacks. Both are a part of life.
Please continue your journey with us and let us help in any way we are able. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Much love and Hugs.
Pam
I agree 100% this site is for everyone. I hope that everyone who is done and needs support feels like they can come here. I often vent. Yes, I am also hopeful, but we all know 99% what the future be like.
I hope no one made you feel uncomfortable about being here. You and everyone else who needs help, an ear, a hug, support, or even a good kick in the pants are welcome here and there is a place for you.
Kris
I can see how many feel this way. I’ve been there and am there. However , this site has taken great pains of caution to ensure avenues for individuals to vent. Whether it is good news ,How I love to hear and have heard in the past. Not as often as I would like grant you. Whether it’s bad news and we can provide information and good ole fashion support, which some people feel comfortable reaching out and doing. This site provides a definite outlet if needed , to include phsycological, grief, rememberance of loving memories, place to put Memorials. Yes , we all grieve individually and differently, as Tanoland stated. I agree it is an individual choice of whether to post or not. However, the site it’s self is very comprehensive. Sorry guys, but looking at it from your own personal views, I can see the heartbreak and grief. I sincerely hope you can find the the outlet you need to properly grieve.
God bless,
Jeff G.I understand where Magic is coming from. I tried to be hopeful and positive in the beginning of my sister’s illness. But after researching and my sister at 42 only lasting 11 months, it’s really hard. And everybody on here is very positive and looking for hope. So people like us probably shouldn’t post on here because we are not that way. And it’s not really good for anyone. But I understand exactly what Magic is saying. I feel the same way. Sorry to be such a downer. Shirley has been gone 1 month and 2 days and it just keeps getting worse every day she is gone.
You guys are so right! I love when I can tell good news about Teddy to give others HOPE and I am ever so grateful when I know I can come here for answers when I am down or Teddy gets some bad news. I am addicted to this site and to all you wonderful, courageous, loving people!
very well put JeffG, i agree completely, good or bad we are human beings brought together by a common tread…our loved ones and friends are suffering from a disease that strikes terror in your heart…reaching out to the people on this site has brought my wife and i a sort of comfort…if you can call it that…..reading about their fight and never quit attitude is inspiring and i applaud them and their families…GOD BLESS YOU ALL….i mean no disrespect Magic because i know this disease strikes every one and the way they feel (and they have every right to feel what they want) differently….many times it is not the person talking but the disease itself if you know what i mean….GOD BLESS AND BE WELL….RON
Magic…. Would you like to elaborate a little ? Maybe I am taking your post out of context. This site is for all ! From Introduction through rememberance and all the emotional support we can muster and offer in between. The Reality of dealing with this disease is devastating to many and even if it is a poor diagnosis and rapid decline, is all the more reason to be on this site. This site is about good luck stories and/or tragedies. It’s about love and openingness, and sharing with each other. I’t’s never to
late to show and give support and compassion if one chooses and wants.
“Belonging” is one of the most basic needs of humans, all the more reason to be on this site. I guess your post struck a nerve, as this site has been a God send to me and many others. Where do you suggest they go, when there is open hands here. Sorry, my opinion.
God Bless,
Jeff G.
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