tough day

My husband had CT scan on Monday and today we met with the oncologist. Unfortunately, it was bad news. The lesions have mutliplied and spread throughout the liver as well as the bones. He just finished 2 cycles of gem/cis. He was diagnosed on June 18, 2011 with cc with mets. We were hoping with treatment to get a year, but unfortunately, after stent placement, hospitalizations, nerve block, folfox treatment, gem/xeloda, gem and then this past treatment, we have not made headway. We have decided on hospice. My husband has lost 50lbs, and pretty much had pain, nausea,fatigue the whole time. We were so hoping to do so much during our limited time left. It just astonishes me who this cruel cancer can take away our dreams. Being in our mid 40’s with 3 college age kids we were so looking forward to “our” time again. This is all taking away from us in months. Me and the kids just don’t even know what to do. He is my rock. With the holidays approaching, I especially find this to be so difficult., but we will certaintly cherish every moment we have left together as a family.