Update on my dad

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    To sunshinecargiver:

    I so agree with you. This website was a godsend when my Mom was first diagnosed last May, and went on to become a lifeline for me. Most of us care givers have no medical training – I liked to call it “on the job training.” We do what we have to do, be an advocate for our loved one, read everything we possibly can about this disease and treatment. Along the way we absorb and learn and – thanks to this wonderful website – maybe do a little teaching, or at least share experiences.

    Though my sister is an RN and has been a hospice nurse for 10 years, I have not a drop of medical training. But I accompanied my mother to every appointment, test, chemo day, scan, etc., and kept a binder full of notes. (I’m a little anal with that kind of stuff.) And with my sister reviewing every week’s bloodwork with me, I got to know what was what, and what good vs. bad numbers were. Mom used to tell anyone who would listen that I deserved an honorary medical degree!


    Dear Pam,

    Just to say my thoughts and prayers are with you and your Dad.

    Much love



    Lainy, I will definitely ask my dad to look for Teddy. They would have enjoyed each other’s company.

    The morphine is liquid, but will ask about the congestion and anxiety in liquid. The anxiety medication really helps him not thrash about.

    All I can say is this is the way he would have wanted to go. I’m very protective of him!

    Thank you all for the kind words. They mean so much to me. I hope every one has a beautiful day. I will post again soon. Pam


    It is a school we all learn from and upon graduating from ‘Care Giver 101’, become very exceptional people. There are no people like Care Givers.


    To everyone who posted: Thank you! I have not gotten to the end stage with my Mom, but I keep going online to learn all that I can about treatment, what to expect, how to manage, all things that you share on line. It really is helpful for someone like myself with no medical training and a “first-time caregiver”. Everything is a new experience for me and I want to help Mom as much as possible.



    You and your sister are an amazing legacy your Dad will leave behind. You are doing everything possible to ease his passage and you should be proud of yourselves.

    Do ask about the liquid morphine and other drugs in liquid form. Hospice will be able to help.

    I’m sending prayers for strength and tons of hugs and lots of hugs to all of you…



    Hi Pam

    This sounds exactly like my dad in terms of no swallowing ability and no food or water at the end. You are doing great and you sound calm, we also used a syringe to get morphine in, 1ml at a time. Hospice are normally spot on with their insight. You are a wonderful daughter and your dad, i know is so happy that you and your sisiter are able to be with him. All I can say, is that I am with you in spirit, and we are all here for you.

    Take good care and stay as strong and serene as you are.

    Lots of love and hugs



    Oh, Pam, thank you so very much. You are doing a wonderful thing and I know it is hard to watch your dad. Teddy is on the liquid Morph as a breakthrough but I wrote down the name of the Hyomax. That is so helpful. Calling today for a bed and more Morph. Bless you and your whole family, I know its not easy but you will be so glad you did this. Now if I can just be as strong as you I will be very comfortable with it. Can you ask your dad to look for Teddy?


    Oh Pam, as difficult as this time is, you all sound so at peace with everything. It sounds like you are doing exactly what you need to do – for yourselves and for your dear dad.

    So glad that you found the magic combination of meds – it makes such a difference! I just wanted to mention – ask hospice about getting the meds in liquid form. The last few days that’s what we used for Mom, both pain meds and the stuff for congestion. When in liquid form the dosage is such a tiny amount, we just squirted it under her tongue and it absorbed that way.

    Again, keep up what you’re doing and try to be strong for each other. You’re doing exactly the right things. Prayers and blessings coming your way.


    Hi all, my dad is still with us. Last Thursday he took a downward turn and hasn’t been out of bed since. He was in a responsive sleep state for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Sunday was the first day of no food or water. Yesterday he stopped all urine flow.
    Several things I want to tell you. My sister and I mapped out three medications we have given to him around the clock without fail that have probably saved him and us a lot of upset and pain. As soon as congestion starts Hyomax is excellent. We are also giving him anxiety medication and liquid morphine. He is still wearing a patch but that comes of today and will not be restarted. I can’t say enough about the congestion medication! It stopped all the alarming sounds and has made him super comfortable. Oh, and he can’t sallow anymore so we crush his pills and give him a drop of water to help it go down. If you try to put the pill under his tongue it would just lay in his mouth because it has become very dry. We talk to him all the time and have gone over all the fun we had in the last few months. The banana splits he ate, car rides, etc. We also tell him it is okay if he is ready to let go. The nurse said yesterday one to three days. At first this was hard, but surrounding him with love and care has made it the way to go for us. I am so happy we kept him at home.

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