Update on my Dad
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Hi back at you, Gavin…truth be told the food was terrible last night. This restaurant is normally fabulous and it was way out of whack! Teddy did order chicken Scapara and while nothing was fried it had a sauce of green chilies and white wine! He just got up for church so we shall see how the day goes.
What a surprise, that dessert sent, as raspberries are my favorite fruit. Do you think we are making people hungry? I really fry nothing at home, its when he goes out. Like one of his favorites is a good old Fish Fry. Yes, I think your dad would be well entertained by Teddy as his stories even have stories! From being drafted by the Giants (baseball) for their Farm team to Korea to his “infamous cousins” in Milwaukee where he was born and lived until we moved here 14 years ago. You know the song, “I Did It My Way”, he really did.
Oh, I hope you can get your dad to go to the Sea Life Centre. What fun and it also helps cheer one up by being with children. Sounds like just the ticket. Today we will visit my mom who is 93 1/2 has dementia and is in assisted care here. Nothing we an do anymore for her and she is quite healthy just the mind has gone to sleep. My dad also lived to be 93. Neither one ever had bad health. I must have dropped from the sky. Teddy also. His dad was 94. I could go on and on with you! Too bad we are not neighbors we would probably talk all day and night!My best wishes to your dad, Gavin. My sister’s just discovered the pleasures of a renewed healthy appetite – & its consequent disadvantages … stomach gripes, extreme fatigue & a general feeling of malaise the next day. I’ll tell her she’s in the good company of your dad & Teddy.
I hope he feels better soon. The italian day sounds to have been great!!
Jxx
Morning Lainy,
It seems that Teddy and my dad are indeed still on your C food diet and have not learnt from their past experiences!I hope Teddy isn’t suffering today from all that lovely food you would have enjoyed last night and that you both had a great meal. Did you give him the Lainy look last night when he was browsing the menu? I think that would work for me!! I stopped giving my dad fried food, not that we really fry much anyway, apart from a bit of steak and some fish which we dont really have much anyway now and when we do I just very lightly fry them in not much oil.
Teddy’s day after food does sound similar to my dad when he does the same and he also has no temperature, but he describes the feeling as just “grotty”. Also what is annoying is that the day in bed knocks all his tablets out of whack as he forgets to take some. The rollercoaster journey of up and down days continues!
Yes Teddy would have loved the Italian day and so would everyone else enjoyed Teddy being there and no doubt there would have been lots of swapping of stories and laughs. Days like that are most definitely to be enjoyed and celebrated! I’m also trying to convince my dad to go for a day out. I want him to go to St Andrews to the sealife centre as he really enjoys that sort of thing. It would be a day out and away from the norm for us and it would also be a day out for my cousin and her 3 year old son Arran, and I know he would also love that! St Andrews is only about 30 minutes drive from here so if he felt unwell when we are there, it would not take long to get home.
Cranachan is an old Scottish dessert, here is a recipe for you –
http://www.scottishrecipes.co.uk/cranachanrecipe.htm
Hope you and Teddy have a good day and enjoy your rain if you get any!
Best wishes
Gavin
Hi Gavin…sorry to hear dad is grotty today. I know he didn’t have surgery and Teddy did but I tell you when T overdoses on the food department the next day he can feel like he has the flu all over. No temperature but achy, stomach ache, sleeps all day. He knows he is control of it but it doesn’t seem to matter. He is on a C Food diet. He C’s food and wants to eat it!!! When we go out to eat and I know he will really be upset by something fried, I give him my Lainy look and I get a look back that says leave me alone. So I do now. I have tried everything but nothing works. When you think of the long road ahead, the food really seems so unimportant, except that he suffers afterward.
Italian day sounds like a day Teddy would love. We are going out to our favorite Italian Restaurant tonight. The owner/chef is right from Naples. Although we like Sicilian better his food is excellent and he makes all his own bread and pasta. What is a cranachan?
We had 12 minutes of rain today and loved it. Hope dad feels better tomorrow.Hi all,
The Italian day at day care was a great success, they had Italian flags up and Italian music playing when I dropped dad off. The menu was parma ham and melon for starter, followed by pasta with a cheese and bacon sauce or pasta with salmon followed by lemon cello and ice cream, all of it freshly made that day. Sounds pretty good to me and it all went down a treat. Dad ate too much as usual, which I guess is better than not eating at all, then home to bed after it to sleep all that food off! So a good day all round and the chefs coming back next week to make minnestrone soup for them all, then again the following Friday for a Scottish day to celebrate St Andrews day. No doubt the big debate next Friday will be what to have the following week, but I think they are having cranachan for dessert. And they are putting up a pool table in the centre so looking forward to having a game with them all.
Today was not such a good day, dad feeling generally grotty and spent the day in bed, although he has not been sick and the jaundice does not seem to have worsened, nor has the swelling. Dad hasn’t really eaten much at all today, but I made omlette for tea and he had a little bit of that, which he ate and managed to keep down. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Best wishes all.
Gavin
Hi everyone,
Well dad seems a bit better these last few days, seems to be a lot more positive and considering whats happened earlier this week, seems to be in a decent sort of mood. It’s strange, maybe it’s something to do with not having to sit around waiting for doc’s apps, tests, scans and hoping for good results etc. Maybe now that he knows there is nothing else to try he can just get on with focussing on the now and worry about the future later. It certainly is a rollercoaster ride of emotions right now!
Kris,
Much love and support coming right back across the North Sea to you. I hope you will go and get your bulbs and red coat!
Wendy,
Thank you for your kind words and support. Yes it is hard, but we will get on with the now and make things as best as we can for dad. If I was to just sit around and feel sorry for myself than I would drag dad down and I’m not going to do that to him. The Macmillan team are indeed wonderful and they do amazing work and I know they will do their best for dad.
I’m sorry to hear that your mum is going through a tough time just now. What pain meds is she on just now? Dad is on solpadols, but they would change them to something stronger if needed. Have you looked into getting a stronger type? I hope the antibiotics do their job and prevent any possible infection and that this pain is just something temporary. Your mum sounds like an amazing fighter, full of strength and positivity and hopefully you can sort out this pain issue and she can get on once again with living her life as best she can in a manner that she wants to. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and your mum.
Sharron,
It is indeed hard to watch this disease progress in our loved ones. But your mum sounds like a true fighter and is putting up one hell of a fight, as are you. I believe that pain management and quality of life are so important and that controlling the pain helps with quality of life and mood. Each good day is indeed a small victory and should be enjoyed as best we can. I hope your mum continues to enjoy her friends for tea, hugs with the grandkids and time with you all for many days to come. With as much laughs along the way as possible! Laughing is a great medicine after all.
Val,
Thank you. I’m sure you’ve also had to deal with these humps in the road as they come up! Keep on keeping on sounds like good advice for us all, so I hope you will too.
I haven’t tried Lainy’s sauce yet but might do so at the weekend. Yep dad is certainly looking forward to tomorrows eating at day care, always thinking with his stomach! But there is nothing new in that! Yep we could all go and have a party there, sounds like fun to me!
Frosty in Cornwall? Now that is a surprise! It has been bucketing down here for days now but is brighter today, even got some blue skies and it’s not as cold. Lets see how long that lasts! Being born and living my whole life up here, you tend to get a wee bit pessimistic about our weather!
Thank you all so much and I wish each of you my very best wishes.
Gavin
Hi Gavin,
So sorry to hear your not so good news – just when you think things are going ok, there’s another hump in the road…..Just keep on keeping on – you’re doing a great job for your folks.
Did you cook Lainey’s sauce yet?
Hope your Dad enjoys the Italian chef at day care – do you think we could all come? Sounds great to me, we could all keep him company.Just to make you feel better about the weather it’s been frosty in Cornwall two mornings this week & we’re almost tropical!
best wishes to your mum & dad
Val
Hi Gavin,
It’s hard watching this disease slowly take apart our strong independent loved ones. My mom was told shortly after her diagnosis this summer that there was no treatment that could help her. The doctors offered pain management and quality of life for the time she has. She knows what she is dealing with and yet her spirit is indomitable (sp?). We’e had so many hard conversations and will have to have more I’m sure. But each day that she isn’t feeling too much pain or that she laughs and meets a friend for tea or hugs a grandchild or great grandchild feels like a small victory.
Your dad sounds incredible and your posts have helped so many of us who are taking care of our parents with CC. Hang in there
Wendy, I hope your mom comes out of this bad bout soon.
Hi Gavin,
This is horrible, horrible. My heart goes out to you. There is nothing worse than knowing that there is nothing more that can be done, other than to help alleviate and treat the symptoms, it must be feeling so hard for you all right now.
I’m glad your dad is in the care of the wonderful Macmillan nurses and hope that they will help him deal and cope with these symptoms. I really hope he finds some renewed strength too; my niece (a doctor) said to my mum (her granny) that she sees miracles happen every day on the wards at her hospital, so I desperately hope for one of those for your dad.
Gavin, you sound like a wonderful son, don’t feel bad that you weren’t around to “soften the blow”; more importantly you are there to help “carry them” through these bad times. They must be full of admiration and really proud of you.
My best wishes to you and your mum and dad.
Wendy
PS. My mum is quite bad at the moment, excruciating pain at the point of her stent which no-one (medical) seems to know what is the cause. She’s been given antibiotics just to cover any possible infection. She has increased her pain relief and again, all we can wish for is that this is a short acute episode and she will improve again, but she is frightened. She has been such an amazing fighter and so positive; making herself do things we never imagined she would do again, like trips out and travelling and coming to stay with us, talking openly about life and death, but trying to live a “normal” life these past few weeks. We are so in awe of her strength and willpower. I just hope and pray she can keep up strength because we are not anywhere near ready to let go and neither is she.Gavin,
I am sorry for your dads news. Hang in there. Sending lots of love and support across the North Sea.Kris
Thanks Julia,
I was pretty angry last night about the way this info was given to dad, but then thinking a bit more about it, we did ask for this so I guess we can’t really be too harsh on them giving it to us, even if it was over the phone. Although it might have been better if they had even said to visit his GP and he could have explained it better to us. My mum sounds a bit like your sister and says that I get my anger out of proportion sometimes. But like you, it’s my anger and getting it out of my system helps me deal with it I guess.
Anyway, whats done is done and it’s time to move on and deal with the now and thats whats important. Took dad to the GP’s for his flu jab this morning on the way to day care and whilst there, they advised him that he needed his pneumonococcal vaccine, his last one was 10 years ago. Told them about his last blood results etc but they still recommmend he get them both today. Not the best start to the day for him, a vaccine jab in each arm but he was okay about it! Day care got off to a great start. We were late in getting there today and dad had his wooly hat on as it’s baltic again. We walked in and one of the patients asked if dad had skiied here due to his hat so that got a few laughs.
My best to you and your sister
Gavin
I’m so sorry, Gavin – that’s not news one would want to hear. My very, very best to you & your dad & mum. I get so angry at the way information like this is imparted – it sounds so cavalier. My sister says my anger is out of proportion – but’s it’s MY anger & I’ll let it get as big as it likes on occasions like this.
My thoughts are with you all.
JxxHi Marion,
I guess that will be down to myself and mum just now, but if things worsen then we will have to consider other options. I know dads Mac nurse will want to speak with him about his future care needs at some point soon and I know dad has been thinking about that as well. Not really looking forward to having that conversation again, but it needs to be talked about at some point.
Best
Gavin
Thanks Lainy. Yes they will deal with things like the itching, vomiting etc as they come up, but much of this will be done through the day care and his local GP, and if he needs to go into hospital for anything then I would imagine that they will decide that and get him admitted. Of course, if I think that anything requires immediate looking into then I will be taking him to the ER there and then! The Macmillan nurse is not due for a few weeks, but I’ve got afeeling that she will probably arrange to come up sooner than then.
Yes you’re right, I would have much preferred that they talked to me about this so that I could have told dad and dad would have preferred that also, but I wasn’t there at the time. It was mum that answered the phone, but they said they needed to speak with dad. You’re right about it being hard passing on the news and explaining stuff, especially when it’s not so good. Had to do that a few too many times this year.
My best to you and Teddy.
Gavin
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