February 6, 2011 at 5:13 am #47464tiapattyMember
I am so sorry your husband is worsening, it is very sad to hear of such young people suffering from this disease. This cancer has a way of pulling the rug out from under you and you begin to doubt everything you once thought was certain, it unsteadies and disorients you. Fear and anxiety are very hard to control, I find comfort and strength from words–quotations and poetry–here are some I hope can help:
Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there. ~Author Unknown
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next. ~Mignon McLaughlin
PattyFebruary 6, 2011 at 12:48 am #47463darlaParticipant
I am so sorry you are having to face all of this. My husband was 62 and I was 60 when he passed away from CC. I too had no idea of how I could face life alone. After all, I had known him since I was 15. We had been together 24/7 forever. Well, it is now almost 2 1/2 years later and although it has not and still is not always easy, I am still here and managing the best I can. You will be OK and having your daughter there with you will help. You will lean on and support each other. We are all stronger than we think we are when we have to be. My boys are in their 40’s and it was hard for them too, but they are doing OK. I found this site a few days after Jim passed and being here and belong to this special group was the best thing I could have done and so have you. We will all be here for you to help and support you and to listen when you need to vent your feelings. There is nothing you can say that hasn’t been said before. We all know what it’s like to be dealing with all of the things that come from being touch by this disease. The coming days & weeks will not be easy, but try to take care of yourself, too. You will need all the strength and support you can can get to help get you through this.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaFebruary 5, 2011 at 11:17 pm #47462nur1954Participant
Ziggydog – This disease has a way of knocking us on our backsides! Lainy and Charlea are correct in saying your daughter will help you — and you will help her — get through all this. I was blessed with a grandson only 6 weeks after my son passed and it was the one of the few things that kept me going. We are all here for you….feel free to vent and chat away. Hugs – NancyFebruary 5, 2011 at 10:47 pm #47461charleaParticipant
Ziggydog, it appears that you have been on this site just a very short time, hardly time to get your mind around what is happening to your husband and here you are facing what will be a great loss to you and your daughter. I am so sorry that you are having to endure this. You will need your daughter as much as she will need you. She is so young to lose her dad. I hope you were able to pack as many good memories in as was possible. May God accompany you on this sad journey.February 5, 2011 at 10:31 pm #47460lainyParticipant
I am so very sorry Ziggydog. It will be 2 months tomorrow that Teddy passed. You will be surprised at how that 11 year old is going to help! Kids are amazing. My 18 year old Granddaughter just called me from College to see how I was doing. It was just what I needed today as I was having one of those meltdown days. They are easing up but today was a doozy. Her call was just what I needed. Let your friends and family help in any way they can. Your heart does not ever have to accept it but you know life will go on and he will be in your heart for eternity. We are here so lean on us as much as you need to. My prayers and thoughts are floating your way along with a few boosts of strength.February 5, 2011 at 10:06 pm #4724ziggydogParticipant
My husband went through 6 weeks of 5FU but the CT scan showed the tumors continuing to increase. Switched to Taxotere, he had 1 treatment. His potassium level is critical. Two days in the hospital and they brought it down but yesterday it was up again. We met with his onc. who said basically my husband’s organs are beginning to fail. It is evident to me – he is very pale, has difficulty walking, his blood pressure is down to about 80/60, he is sleeping more and more. We connected with Hospice care today. My realistic, logical side is telling me that the end is coming but my heart cannot accept it. I watched my mother die of breast cancer 20 years ago and this is like deja vu. I’m trying to be strong for our 11 year old daughter but I get very scared at the thought of losing my husband. I turn 44 on Monday and it is hard for me to look ahead to a life without Ben (my husband).
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