November 14, 2007 at 8:51 pm #17810cherryleMember
I had the same feeling about the card when my sister mentioned it but I just told her I didn’t know what we should do. I don’t live close by like my other two sisters but I’m the oldest and I get ask what we should do questions and I don’t know what’s the right thing to do either. Thank you for your honesty that helps me a lot. My Dad was trying to get their headstone done by their anniversary but that’s not going to work out and upset him quite a bit. ItNovember 14, 2007 at 8:31 pm #17809alisonMember
My husband Jon died in Dec 06 from CC , it was our 21st wedding anniversary in April 07 .My daughters 16 and 18 bought me some flowers which was really nice . I had a quiet day nothing special , just remembered in my own way and have a bit of a cry. I would not have wanted my daughters to get a card from Jon for me to find ,that would have been about the only thing they could have done that would not have helped . I was glad the girls had rememebered the day ,
If there is a grave or stone you can visit that would be good take some flowers and have a chat , unfortunately we did not have that option ,I would have liked to do that with my girls
Hope this is of some help
AlisonNovember 13, 2007 at 9:06 pm #17808jeffgMember
Dear Cherryle…… If it was my Dad I would be there for him and validate his grief, lost of his best friend, love of his life by sharing your lost together in a memorial way. Visit her site of burial or flight of ashes and have a few prayers to say, emphasizing she has not and will not be forgotten. Sincerely let him know you would like to do this with him. Tell him that you know that he feels she is still with him and in spirit always will be. Is there something particular that your Mom liked that you could talk about. Is there a special snapshot of them together that you can have enlarged and framed with a beautiful saying or verse engraved on it. Maybe something like” An Anniversary that will never be Forgotten” date and this year. It is difficult to let go. My Dad passed on 2 years ago and my Mom late stage parkinson’s and dementia still talks as if my Dad was still here. It’s really sad when my sibblings try to correct her ,you mean in spirit right Mom and she says no. On the other hand, I say Mom Dad’s still with you isn’t he. And with no problem at all with her memory says yes they just don’t understand. We then have a conversation about life in general and also talk about Dad and their favorite place to go get a lobster roll down by the Ocean. I have not been able to see Mom since my Dad passed on because of this disease and treatments and other responsibilities. My Brothers and sisters have been able to. I rely on reports from them but when I talk to Mom on the phone it is not how they described it to me. Yes she has a bad day here and there but the right upfront approach works miracles. I will see her again. Making believe you found a card just might backfire I’m afraid. May the Lord guide you through this trying and emotional day. I’m sure you will do something loving and supportive.
Jeff G.November 13, 2007 at 8:09 pm #868cherryleMember
My parents wedding Anniversary is coming up and our mother passed away Aug.10, 2007 and my sister and I were talking about how to help our Dad on that day. Any suggestions? Someone mentioned to my sister that maybe we should get a card from her and put in some where for him to find. I just don
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