What next?

Discussion Board Forums Introductions! What next?

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  • #53960
    marions
    Moderator

    What a special gift you have given to your Dad. Due to your briefing the physician beforehand an honest, discussion evolved and it allowed your Dad to express his wishes to all. Although, painful to accept in some way it allows for a certain sense of freedom.. You can now focus on those precious moments of life we frequently rush through in our harried world. My heart is with you.
    Hugs and love,
    Marion

    #53959
    mustangmort
    Spectator

    Bkat, I sense that although your dad hurts, he is at peace now with his journey. Quoting from a Beatle’s song (and changing a word)…..”All HE needs is love”………”Love is all HE needs”. Don’t forget the pain meds, though.

    I truly feel heavy with feelings for you and your dad and family. God bless you all.

    #53958
    lainy
    Spectator

    Dearest Bkat, I am truly, truly sorry. Once Hospice is called in, your family will actually start to wind down a little as they will be able to just concentrate on spending time with your Dad. You have done and are doing all the right things. As for your Dad ‘s attitude I don’t think in terms of ‘giving’ up. I feel that somehow people know when the time has come and act accordingly. After watching Teddy go through his journey I also believe they just want to go to their Peace as they feel guilty for the burden they think they are putting on their loved ones. Although most of us do not look at it as a burden. Please keep us posted and I hope Hospice gets the pain under control, first and foremost!

    #53957
    bkat
    Spectator

    It seems things keep sliding downhill. We went to the doctor yesterday and, as I suspected, he was too weak for chemo. I had pre-briefed the ONC and this gave her a good opportunity to broach the subject of “what’s next”. My dad was very straightforward with the doctor and with us. He’s tired of fighting and wants to quit. He said that if he could just go to sleep now and never wake up, he would. His weight keeps falling, his physical strength is all but gone and, as of this morning, he’s now starting to complain of significant and specific pain. This from a man who has had severe scoliosis his entire life and never complained about that, so we know he’s hurting. I understand and respect his feelings regarding his future. We now have the information to begin exploring hospice and our main focus is on making him as comfortable as possible. I’ve also reached out to the ONC and am taking immediate steps to address the newly appearing pain issues.

    I wish there was more positive news to report. But like so many of you who have witnessed the awful trajectory of this disease, you realize there’s nothing that can stop what’s happening. So staying focused on making my dad comfortable and letting my mom know her kids are there is what’s important now. I can’t imagine what’s going through her head now as she faces losing her husband of fifty eight years.

    #53956
    bkat
    Spectator

    Thanks. I appreciate the concern. I actually have a message out to the doctor to ask if addressing the ascites will help any of his symptoms. I suspect that if he isn’t healthy enough for the chemo this week, the ONC will segue that into a discussion about hospice.

    #53955
    lainy
    Spectator

    Dear Bkat, I am glad the cough is better but very concerned about the rest of your post. You are right, LABS don’t tell the whole story. Teddy’s LABS were not bad right up to the end but he had no appetite, slept most of the time, pain, but under control and no energy at all. The fact that he can’t get out of bed or a chair without help and has pain ….not sounding right. There is no reason to be in pain and maybe he has no energy due to fighting the pain. The ascites too should be taken care of. It just sounds like he is suffering needlessly so perhaps it is time for the Hospice talk with the ONC. I wish you the best at the appointment and please do let us know what happens, we care.

    #53954
    bkat
    Spectator

    No real progress to report. His cough has diminished a bit. The doctor feels it is likely bronchitis. Other than that, he keeps getting weaker, sleeps all the time, has no appetite and only forces himself to eat so that my mother will eat something. He is unable to get into/out of bed or even a chair without help. Some abdominal pain, although it seems non-specific. Edema and ascites as well.

    We are scheduled to go back to the ONC on Wednesday. He has decided against the liver directed therapy so ONC wants to put him back on the gemzar since it seemed to be the best weapon we have. (Very slight tumor growth in 6 months.) Not sure if he’ll be up to it or not.

    I know these symptoms sound a lot like what others have witnessed with their loved ones and things aren’t looking great. I don’t know if it’s unusual, but his numbers on paper (liver panel, CBC, etc.) still aren’t all that bad. But lab results only tell part of the story.

    #53953
    lainy
    Spectator

    Sounds like a good plan! You are a great advocate for your Dad and we all know we NEVER, EVER, wanted to know about CC let alone know as much as we do!!!

    #53952
    bkat
    Spectator

    Lainy,
    Thanks. I do maintain a strong separate line of communication with the ONC (as I do with all the doctors) but haven’t talked post x-ray. The issue of hospice has been brought up by the ONC as well as the GP, the interventional radiologist and the surgeon, but there’s still a large amount of denial still at work. If it comes down to it, I will do the advance scouting if for no other reason than to have the next moves planned, whether they are needed in 2 weeks or 2 years.

    My sense is, this just needs to be given a couple days to play itself out to see what direction this is heading. I know we all wish we had the script for how things are going to play out so we could act preemptively, but we don’t.

    #53951
    lainy
    Spectator

    Dear Bkat, Have you discussed with the ONC what is happening to Dad beside the cough? I hate to say this to you but if you think things are sliding downhill you might want to ask the ONC about Hospice Home Care. They will come out up to a year ahead of time if necessary. They have a wonderful booklet that tells you what to expect and signs to look for starting at about 2 months out in time. I would talk to the ONC about this as well and see what he thinks. Some of what you have asked about sounds too familiar to me and then again it could all be an infection. We just never know and you have to do what you are comfortable doing and of course the bottom line is Dad’s comfort. Please keep us posted, we all care.

    #53950
    bkat
    Spectator

    Haven’t posted much since there hasn’t been much new to post about. For the most part, he’s been doing well, considering. Normal routine of chemo and constant fatigue with general malaise seems to have been his biggest complaint since November. (He has lost almost 20% of his normal body weight.) The doctor put him on a daily does of steroids and that seemed to keep energy level from falling further. Because he’s been holding up fairly well, they felt he was a candidate for liver directed therapy since his last scan showed limited tumor growth and measurable tumor necrosis since the previous scan in September.

    However, not sure if he picked up something in the hospital or if it’s coincidence, but following the mapping for his procedure, his condition has worsened by magnitudes. (They hadn’t gotten to the radiation stage so side effects from the directed liver therapy were ruled out.) He now sleeps a lot more, has had a couple days where he could barely get out of bed (or ended going back to bad), is back in his wheel chair to get around (he was able to use a walker at Christmas) and he developed this horrid, wet-sounding (but non-productive) cough. Hearing it, our first thoughts were pneumonia although the chest x-rays didn’t show anything. Concurrent with this decline and with two weeks of “very bad days”, his outlook and optimism has faded immensely and his comments have gotten more grim. He doesn’t have a fever but does have abdominal pain. No appetite to speak of either. (Up to now, he’s wanted to eat.)

    Not sure if this is a passing virus (or bacterial infection) or if it has other significance, but the cough is troubling. Any experience with these symptoms?

    Right now, the doctor is giving the antibiotics time to work to see if that takes care of the cough.

    #53949
    marions
    Moderator

    Bkat…thanks for clairfying. Fingers are crossed.
    All my best wishes,
    Marion

    #53948
    bkat
    Spectator

    Marion,
    A liver transplant isn’t currently on the horizon, but potentially chemo-embolization (or other forms of liver-directed treatments still tbd) to augment the systemic chemotherapy.

    #53947
    marions
    Moderator

    Bkat….Things are evolving daily so it seems. The physicians you are referring to, are they at UCLA? This is quite a development in regards to a possible liver transplant for your Dad. Fingers are crossed for things to continue to move forward.
    All my best wishes,
    Marion

    #53946
    bkat
    Spectator

    Thanks. As always, I will be asking plenty of questions.

    Part of the reason for meeting with the interventional radiologist now is to bring him in the loop. Both the oncologist and the surgeon (who saw the tumor with his own eyes) feel my dad is a viable candidate for directed liver therapy if his overall health holds up. So we do have the CT scan that was completed in September as well as a first-hand report from the surgeon to give the interventional radiologist something to work with. In all likelihood, he probably wouldn’t start a procedure until after the second round of Gemzar, which would be about the same time as the next CT scan is scheduled to run. So, more or less, we’re trying to choreograph this on multiple fronts.

    Another part is, after I asked the surgeon (who my dad respects) if directed liver therapy was an option and he said “definitely”, and my dad’s spirits lifted. When the oncologist repeated this endorsement, they went up another notch. So simply knowing we have one more weapon in our arsenal means the fight is far from over, so that helps too.

    For what it’s worth, his ad hoc team of doctors are concerned about maintaining as much quality of life as possible and are aware that his circumstances as a senior are different than those of someone younger, but at the same time are aggressive enough to be willing to try things as long as my dad wants to keep at it.

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 62 total)
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