Yikes, is there a light at the end of this tunnel, ever?

Isisman,

I probably owe you an apology. After watching my relatives fight the good fight until they took their last breath, there was never talk of giving up by the patient and dang sure none of that from the caretakers.

My whipple surgery was on Sept 20. 08. Just passed my two year anniversary with NO sign of recurrance, and I DID NOT, undergo any Chemo nor Radiation. Something you are constantly telling people must be done. Why?

My pain after surgery lasted at most six month, but, was off pain pills at about three months. I still have some pain and uncomfort, but, this is more from my new digestive system, and is not related to cancer, and is more along the lines of an upset stomach type of pain, picture a little child saying my tummy hurts.

I certainly hope that the Dr’s can figure out why your husband is hurting so much despite having a nerve block and internal and external morphine pumps. Perhaps, its just in his head, as there is no way he is feeling anything at this point? Do you have a trusted minister or counselor that you could approach?

Isisman,
I wouldn’t have posted if it wasn’t bothering me so much, and everyone here really cares. You responded fairly positively to Just_Jill and I don’t want to provoke you, but as your husband and my dad’s situations are similar (except for the pain) I keep thinking of you.
You say you want your doctors to be negative. Doctors don’t usually think ‘positively’ they tend to be realistic. I’ve never known a doctor ‘sugar coat’ things. I wouldn’t want a doctor to look on the negative side, I’d want them to be objective. I’d want a pain specialist on board who knows what he’s talking about, who tells me exactly what is causing the pain and what he can do about it. People don’t die from pain, unless it causes a heart attack or similar. I would be reading every little thing I could find on the internet about pain. Small infected nodes shouldn’t cause pain – it’s tumours pressing on organs which cause pain. Is it from the chemical changes, from the radiation, from the surgery? Extreme pain which cannot be controlled by morphine really needs a care facility.

The reason we on this board are struggling is that all we can do is surmise, sympathise and try to suggest avenues you may not have thought of. We don’t understand your story, it scares us because we rarely have experience of uncontrollable pain. In the UK we have specialist pain teams in each hospital. My uncle who’s a doctor said ‘no one should ever have to be in pain in this day and age’. However, if the pain can only be controlled by sedation then you’re right, there is no quality of life. I feel so terribly for you and realise that you may have gone. I just hope there is something that can be done for Tad.

Ya know, I have tried to follow whats going on with your husband and perhaps, like others here, it just does not make sense. A morphine pump, spinal block , nothing is helping with his pain, but, yet his bloodtests are all normal. Yet, you posts indicate you wish he would just go ahead and die so you can go on with your life. This is what I read from your posts.

Most who post here are looking for support from one another. Common symptoms, prognosis, treatments, draw them together, to form a bond. I think it probably is best if you move along, as there aren’t anyone here for you to share you wish of death, for you husband, especially when, there is no diagnosis yet, of what his illness is.

Sorry to be so blunt. Perhaps it was the recent death of yet a third member of my family, Lung Cancer, who fought for two years, was never in any pain and was having an enjoyable day at the casino with his family the day before he passed on Sept 18th.

I read similar stories on this forum all the time, and do not recall a single member here posting anything close to what your saying is happening with your husband. Perhaps I too am just venting. Perhaps you just rub me the wrong way because there are members on this very forum who are fighting the good fight and have fought this fight for many years and here you are, wishing death would come to someone you supposedly love?

If I had a terminal prognosis, your posts, would make me question my family as to how they really feel about my fighting this battle. Perhaps your husband would be better served if you were to place him in a care facility, or a truly loved member of his family, and then you get get back to what you call your life. Just WOW. No sugar coating here either!

Isisman….opinions are just that…opinions and they are very individual, as each case is individual. You and your husband will make decisions based on what you feel to be right for your situation. Ultimately, that is what this board is offering; support to all affected by this cancer. I wish for your husband to have relief from the pain he has been enduring for the last few months. Things have been tough for you and your family and I hope for better days to come.
Best wishes,
Marion