i can only speak from my own experience. i found my own tumor (thanks a lot for nothing Kaiser…my previous insurance). when the tumor was confirmed via a ct scan, shock was all i can think of. then the diagnosis of cholangiocarcinoma after the surgery was more than i could grasp at the time. i had been a long distance runner, long distance cyclist, very healthy diet, etc.
it took a long time for the ‘news’ to sink in. i was in agony over and over again. my world was upside down. i found it very difficult trying to relate to my family and friends. i wanted to protect my grown daughters, but at the same time i was frightened beyond belief at my diagnosis.
not one of us knows how we would/will react when told we have an incurable cancer. then, the grief stages are experienced over and over again. perhaps the best you can do at this point is to listen to your ‘sister’, tell her you love her, hold her hand….
also, she has just been through three surgeries and then some complications. it’s overwhelming at best. i found it very hard to think beyond my next pain battle for a long time. the need to heal from the surgery is prime along with a supportive loved one.
i’m rambling, but your story touched me. i don’t come here often as my life has become increasling complicated and i don’t want to let anyone down that is looking for a response from me.
i’m sending you loving thoughts and hoping for a break through with your sis.