cm

Niamh-
Mr Mark Taylor is the Consultant Hepatobiliary and Pancreatic Surgeon within
Belfast Health and Social Care Trust. Ulster Independent Clinic is a private hospital in Belfast and you may be able to get an appointment through there.

http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/mark-taylor/31/559/b27

Liz-
I think about you often.

Dear Teresa-
It is such early days for you. It is still early days for me at over one year. I cannot tell you it will get easier anytime soon but i can assure you that your husband is with you. Denis is woven into the very fabric of who you are today and who your children will become.

I could not survive these dark days without the merrywidow.me.uk website.

In his suffering you took one day at a time now in your suffering take one hour at a time.
Write down any dark thoughts on paper and burn it.

Take good care of yourself and hug your children lots.
C

Dear Jilly-
I don’t have much to say- I am a young widow, only 33 years. I am 1 year into this journey. I log into a widow discussion site often- today there is a post about living alone which I liked. I think what we should try to do is- be alone and create some happiness from that to start. For me- I need to regain some happiness from within. I cannot go through loosing everything again dependant on anyone else. If you can do that first maybe the rest will follow for you.
All my best as always

HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF BEING HOME ALONE
DO…enjoy your ‘me-time’ rituals – a scented bath on Sunday evening, a good wine at the end of the working week.
DON’T…become so stuck in your ways that it becomes too much hassle to go out on Saturday night when you’re happy in your PJs watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

DO…glory in having sole control of the TV remote.
DON’T…find yourself repeatedly dozing on the sofa at 1am in front of an episode of CSI.

DO…use your home to entertain – at least once a month invite a bunch of friends round for drinks.
DON’T…keep your home as a sacred space, so intolerant of disruption that you secretly resent visitors.

DO…remember that you are part of a community. Those who live alone most successfully tend to reach out to those who live close by.
DON’T…rely too heavily on work colleagues for your social life. Aim to garner friends from many different backgrounds.

DO…cook yourself delicious meals and eat from your best china or dine al fresco when the weather is warm.
DON’T…rely on snacks or ready-meals because ‘what’s the point when it’s only me?’.

DO?snuggle up in bed all day Saturday reading if that’s what you feel like doing.
DON’T?do the same thing on Sunday. Variety in every aspect of our lives is the secret to feeling that life is stimulating.

DO?stay up until dawn reading, writing, painting, listening to music – whatever makes you feel alive. When you live alone?you can!
DON’T?cram activities into your diary because you fear being lonely. Relax into solitude and cultivate your creativity. It is no coincidence that many great female artists have chosen to live alone.

DO?spend time with people you love and like – you have no one’s opinion to worry about but your own.
DON’T?waste a minute worrying about people who see the world only in terms of couples and make you feel slightly odd for choosing to live alone.

Copied from a DailyMail article

Dear Asunrae-
I lost my husband to this disease last year- We/I have a little girl who is now 3. This gives me a sense but only a sense of the loss that you must feel. I am very sorry for the heavy cross of grief that you must carry now.
My sincere condolences,
CM

Great news Susie!

Jose-
I am not sure if you ar Catholic- but the sacrament of the sick is very powerful and the gift of anointment may help her. Not just at the end of life but at any stage of poor health. My OH was anointed every month for a year.

I am going to use words now that are difficult but if your sister is entering the terminal phase of her life she will be agitated. It is in our basic animal instinct to run away somewhere on our own at the time of our death. It is only sedative mediatication that can ease this fight and flight instinct. This drugs will not shorten her life but it will give her much needed rest. Starting that medicine was a very difficult for me but I did not want the last words I shared with my darling husband to be firm words about getting back to bed or for him to fall trying to get up.
I can only share my experience i don’t know if this is where your sister is.
All my best,
Chrissy