darla
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darla
SpectatorLulu,
I have found that on this site it is never wrong to ask anything or say what ever you want. We are all in this together & can only try to help & support each other as best we can.
I don’t think there is any way to truely understand this horrible type of cancer. Believe me, I have tried. It seems to affect everyone differently & treatments that work for some do not for others. I too have been angry at times & wondered why things happened the way they did & why others have more success with both diagnoising & treating it.
In my husband’s case, it was intrahepatic & confined to the bile ducts of his liver. Unfortunately, by the time he was diagnoised it was in 95% of the liver. He didn’t even have a fighting chance. Up until his first symptoms, which presented only 7 weeks before he passed on, he was a normal, happy, healthy man. Obviously, the cancer had been there for a long time, but there were no symptoms. We didn’t have a clue.
I’m not sure how helpful this will be to you or if it will just confuse you even more, but I just wanted to tell you how it was for him.
Hopefully in the future there will be more answers & some day even a cure for this horrific disease.
Love & Hugs,
Darla
darla
SpectatorDear Tess,
I am so sorry for your loss. Just remember that he is no longer suffering from the pain of this terrible disease. He is now in a better place. He will be with you in your heart & memories forever. I will keep you & your family in my thoughts & prayers during this time of sadness & grieving.
Love,
Darladarla
SpectatorGood news is always welcome, even in the grief section. Ours is not to question why. Just enjoy your good times together.
Darla
darla
SpectatorI too feel your pain. I have to agree. I was thinking today of what Jim & I were doing 1 year ago. At that time we had no idea of what was lerking in the shadows waiting to pounce on us. 6 months later he was gone. I hate this disease!!!! We had never even heard of Cholangiocarcinoma. So many days are reminders of the past or of what happened. I also think that it will get better, but it never goes away. The pain, sadness, loneliness & grief will always be with us. We just learn how to live with it & try to go on. Atleast here, everyone understands. No one is expecting us to “get over it” as it has been long enough. When is it ever long enough? Our loved ones will always be a part of us and we never want to forget them. I share your pain & sadness.
Darla
darla
SpectatorKristin,
We are on the east side of Lake Winnebago. This is a beautiful area, but the winters have been brutal the past 2 years.
Darla
darla
SpectatorKris & Lisa,
I too am watching for your postings. You are both in my thoughts & prayers every day.
Darla
darla
SpectatorDear Grace,
I am sure that dealing with your own pain & loss is hard enough and then you have to also be there for your sons. I am sorry that your older son has to deal with the loss of not only his Grandfather, but also a close friend. It is hard enough being 15 with out adding all this grief to the mix. I don’t blame him for being angry. Is there a counselor at school that he could talk to about his feelings if he is open to doing that?
I ask myself that same question every day. What about us who are let behind? It is a daily struggle, but I was told to just keep putting one foot in front of the other & deal with things as they come at you, one day at a time. I am trying to do that. It is not always easy, but what choice do we have? I realize now that I am not in control & never was. I think that everything has a way of working itself out eventually. Probably not always in the way we want or expect it to, but hopefully for the best in the end. I will be hoping for that for you & your family.
Love & Hugs,
Darla
darla
SpectatorRose,
It is rather interesting that so many of us are from Wisconsin. Something to think about. I will be hoping for the best for you with the scheduled surgery.
Kristin,
We have a lot in common. I’m originally from Sheboygan, now live in Plymouth & also have ties to Milwaukee, Madison & a cottage north of Fond du Lac. Small world, isn’t it?
Darla
darla
SpectatorDear Barbara,
I hope that your son is feeling better. Sorry his birthday didn’t work out that great, but atleast he had the cell phone to cheer him up a bit. He can always call his Mom. It will make him feel more secure in the fact that you are there from him 24/7. I am also glad to hear that you are now feeling a little better about yourself. Just remember to keep putting one foot in front of the other & take things one day at a time. Things have a way of working themselves out, even if it isn’t always in the way that we want or expect them to. Try to take time for you too. I know that isn’t easy, but it is important. You need to be strong so that you can be there for your family and especially for your Son & your Dad. I will keep all of you in my thoughts & prayers.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaMarch 10, 2009 at 11:37 am in reply to: Notes from the attendance of Society of Surgical Oncology #27120darla
SpectatorThanks for all the information Marion. I too agree. There were several incidents I recall where I felt the doctors were very insensitve. One in particular stays with me, when a doctor looked at him & said there is nothing we can do can’t you see that he is wasting (away). Said to the family in the room with my husband present. Needless to say, very insensitive & upsetting to all of us. It is good that this is being addressed.
darla
SpectatorHi All,
I hope everyone is doing OK.
Pauline, I know what you mean about trying to keep busy & then seeing the time go by so swiftly.
I too can’t seem to dream much about Jim & when I do I can not recall much. I am glad that you atleast had a small feeling of happiness. I don’t think I can remember what happiness feels like anymore. It has been so long since I have felt any real happiness about anything. I am sorry that your fleeting happiness has now made you sad by reminding you of what we have all lost. However, we already were aware of that, so I guess even a little happiness is better than none at all.
I think you are right. We try to act normal (what ever that is) but those close to us can sense our inner sadness. All we can do is try our best and go on putting one foot in front of the other living one day at a time as we try to figure it all out.
I’m still having electrical issue too.
We had another snow & sleet event, but today it is a little warmer. However, it sounds like there is more bad weather on the way. I can’t wait until spring! I think we will all feel a bit better when the sun is shining & it warms up. Atleast then we can get out a little more. That should help to lift our spirits some.
Everyone take care. I think of all of you all the time and hope that things are going OK for everyone.
Love & Hugs,
Darladarla
SpectatorRose,
I too want to welcome you to our little club. I really have nothing more to add. Charlene and Teresa have said it well. Just know that we are all here for you and that my thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.
Darla
darla
SpectatorGood luck to you. I will be hoping for the very best. Keep us informed as to how you are doing.
Peace,
Darladarla
SpectatorHi Michelle,
I too want to welcome you and say that although I am sorry you had to come here, you have found the right place to be when dealing with this monsterous cancer. You will find everyone on this site more than willing to help, support or just listen to you when you need to vent. I will be hoping for the best for your Dad, you and the rest of your family.
Darla
darla
SpectatorBarbara,
I agree that you are a very concerned & compassionate daughter & mother. Your son sounds like a really great boy also. Marions suggestion to ask Dr. Giles sounds like a good idea to me too.
Darla
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