darla

Elizabeth & Rosemay,

I also would like to say that I think you both have great, positives attitudes. I am hoping for the best for both of you.

Darla

Tom,

I am so sorry to hear that the reports are not good. I do agree with Joyce that you have a lot in your favor. I too think you need support from family and friends right now. Know that you will always have all the support you want or need here. You are amoung friends and we all know what it feels like & what you must be going through right now.

As for the tears, I too did not cry at times when I thought I whould have & then will cry at the drop of a hat over some thing relatively insignificant. I think you are right that part of it is we go through a period of being so stressed, shocked & numb and then it starts to sink in & we have to deal with the reality of it. It does make us so very fragile, doesn’t it?

I am sure that some of the others in the UK will have some suggestions for you and that you will be hearing from them soon.

Please keep us informed as to how things are going and know that you will be in my thoughts & prayers.

Darla

Joyce,

I too am uncomfortable talking about this as we are, but I think you are right. Understanding is the pathway to beating this disease. I’m not sure about the kidneys, but what I was told by the doctor and is also stated on the death certificate is that he ultimate passed away from liver failure due to cholangiocarcinoma. In Jim’s case 95% of his liver was affected so that may be part of the equation. At this point I don’t think he had an infection, but the tumors were growing and multiply incredibly quickly during those 7 weeks.

This was our experience. It does seem as if there are as many different experiences & answers as there are people affected by this disease. Somewhere you would think there would be a common thread.

Marion, the genetic thing is another whole issue. Can it be distinguished genetically and are our children & future generations more at risk?

Once again, so many questions & so few answers.

Darla

Hi Robyn,

Well, I might as well add my 2 cents for what it is worth. I think that a person can live for a long time with a tumor or tumors that are not causing any symptoms. This is just my opnion based on our experiences.

My husband passed away 7 weeks after his first symptoms & the progression was very fast at that point. I now believe that he probably had this tumor for many years with no symptoms & no treatment.

You asked “How can someone feel healthy and have no symptoms only to be gone weeks later”? I’m not sure how, but I do know that it happens, as it happened to my husband. In his case he died from liver failure caused by the Cholangiocarcinoma. My understanding of that is that the tumors (intrahepatic), blocked the bile ducts & caused the liver to fail.

There are so many questions about this type of cancer & not enough answers. You are right, none of it makes any sense. I don’t think any of us really can understand what it is all about as it is so different for each individual. Hopefully in the near future more will be know about it & there will be some sort of breakthrough as far as detecting & treating it more effectively & efficently.

You , Mom & your family will be in my thoughts & prayers.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

I have to commend all of you. You all have such a great attitude and have kept your sense of humor regardless of what you have been through or what you may be facing in the future. I am so proud of all of you. Keep it up. Stay strong & keep on fighting. I’m always hoping for the best out come for every situation. My thoughts & prayers are with all of you.

Lots of love & cyber hugs coming your way,

Darla

Dear Janet,

I am so sorry to hear of your sister’s diagnosis. It seems like it is just one thing after another, doesn’t it? I know just how overwhelming all of this is. As Joyce said, we are all dealing with all of this too. We all find ourselves trying to cope with things we never had to be concerned about before. All any of us can do is keep on trying and do the best that we can. It isn’t easy & it is very frustrating at times.

Why is it that everyone has to keep telling us how well we are doing? They have no idea of what we are going through or how we feel inside. Even when you try to tell them, they really don’t want to hear it. They keep trying to tell you all the positive things to see in this. I know that they mean well, but they are not go through it as we are & we all know that there is not a whole lot of postive to see. Even though our loved ones are in a better place & no longer in pain, our loneliness, pain & sadness is real. That is why I come here. Everyone here listens & understands. I think that others want to believe we are doing fine as it easier for them & makes them feel better, if that makes any sense what so ever!

Just put one foot in front of the other & keep on going, one day at a time. That is all you can do.

Take care Janet. I will be thinking of you. Know that we are all here for you.

Love,
Darla

Dear Carol,

As Lainy said, you have earned the right to feel as you do and I too think you are doing a good job holding everything together. You also know where to come to let your feelings out & gain strength & support.

As I have said before, I only dealt with the caretaker part for 7 weeks and know how much it took out of me. I am still trying to deal with it all. I often wish we’d had more time, but after watching what Jim went through, deteriating so quickly, as hard as that was for me, I can’t imagine what it must be like for you & others who have had to watched it go on for so long.

I too would have said how lucky you are to have this time together, but I can see now that is not always good either. I suppose, there is nothing good about this cancer and how it affects everyone touched by it. I guess we just have to take what we get & deal with it one day at a time. We have no control over any of it or the outcome.

Although I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that I lost Jim so quickly, I know that for him it was better as he did not have to suffer for a very long time. I would have wanted more time for me but if that time would not have been quality time for him, then I guess I was just being selfish & thinking of myself. I will keep you & Charlie in my thoughts & prayers & hope for peace & comfort for both of you in the days to come.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Barbara,

Thanks for sharing your feelings. It has brought tears to me eyes also. I know what you are going through and I feel your sadness & pain. Come back here whenever you need to. You and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

Love & Hugs,
Darla